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IN MY OPINION


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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ahhh!!



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Well, I'm going to bed. Back to school tomorrow after a week of spring break!!




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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[Frank}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

p.s. I love your spunk too, you feisty rascal, you!


That was one of the best Easter gifts I received today (sorry.. my grandchilden and daughter floored me.. But it was really really close!) grin

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[Mel}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} hug

I'm going to say a LONG prayer for you tonight Mel...You are one of God's true WARRIOR ANGELS.. and I will pray that he Bless you in some area that you would not expect him to bless you in.... Frank (former closet fan)

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years.
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Why?

I'll bite.... Pep, Why?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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God's plan B = wander the desert

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Originally Posted by verysadtime
Question: Do you think being selfish and weak is a character flaw?
No. I think it is a human flaw. It is a symptom of a WS and the Taker mentality. It is very common and also diminishes as their Lovebank is replenished.


Over it.
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What's happening VST?

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Well, at lot actually. I heard from the OWH today. He said they had a tough weekend and the she's basically had an emotional breakdown. She's been to see a psychologist and church counselors. She's PROMISED that it is over. I tried to again tell him how important it is that the don't work together. He doesn't seem concerned.....is more into finding out why this happened than how to stop it from happening. I'm very frustrated!



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Her drama is all about avoiding questions and manipulating her husband away from asking questions or demanding anything of her.

I wonder if he's been to this site at all.

Its still up to your husband to figure this out. One of them has to leave. Its not negotiable. He WILL figure this out if he wants the marriage.

I would also be very tempted at this point to confront her. She owes you an apology BIG TIME....and I wouldn't be able to resist the demand that she leave that job if she doesn't want anyone else to know about this....

How are things between you and WH?

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Good actually. He seems to be softening a bit. We haven't had any more relationship conversations since Sat.

I'm still reeling from his comment about not leaving his job for a loveless marriage.....I guess that is why I'm so desperate for her to leave. I have to convince the OWH that she has to leave!!



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Keep Plan A'ing him so that he can see how good your M can be and he will WANT to leave because he will desperately WANT to save your M.

But Plan A'ing does NOT mean backing down on your boundaries, vst...it's very important that you understand this.


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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I know MF. I really do! And I plan on doing just that. I'm just really scared....



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Originally Posted by verysadtime
I have to convince the OWH that she has to leave!!

No, you don't. You have explain to your H that your marriage has no future unless he ends all contact. This is HIS PROBLEM to figure out, vst.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Pepperband
The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years.
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Why?

CONSEQUENCES

It was the consequences for worshipping the golden calf (while Moses was up on the Mount getting the ten commandments).

He came down and found them already breaking the first one.

Oh....wait....

Was that question rhetorical?

blush

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see, he believes he can get YOU to move your boundaries on this so he is testing your resolve.

"Dear Joe, and I am sorry I made life so hard for you. I love you so much and want to spend my time making that up to you. From what I have read, it is clear to me that all contact with Slankyhola has to end or our marriage can never recover. I want our marriage to recover more than anything. I know the only way I can ever live in any peace with any hope of rebuilding trust is if one of you leave that company."


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by committedandlovi
It was the consequences for worshipping the golden calf (while Moses was up on the Mount getting the ten commandments).

Actually it was because of their unbelief and listening to the bad report of the spies and not Trusting God to give them victory when they went into the promised land.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Actually it was because of their unbelief and listening to the bad report of the spies and not Trusting God to give them victory when they went into the promised land.


I guess I should have paid more attention in Sunday School :MrEEk:

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Originally Posted by committedandlovi
I guess I should have paid more attention in Sunday School :MrEEk:

committed

Maybe she skipped SUNDAY SCHOOL and spent her collection money up at the Wortham Hotel buying toast and jelly with her sister!? laugh

Mel<----pure de' heathen grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by committedandlovi
I guess I should have paid more attention in Sunday School :MrEEk:

committed

Maybe she skipped SUNDAY SCHOOL and spent her collection money up at the Wortham Hotel buying toast and jelly with her sister!? laugh

Mel<----pure de' heathen grin

:MrEEk: :MrEEk:

I no be stiffin' Jesus!

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