Flew my airplane today after a loooong week of work.

Jill and I had a loooooon training ride yesterday; 64 miles. Took us about 4 hours. When we left the last rest stop, I had trouble gearing up into my large chain ring. I kept trying and the I threw my chain. Pulled over to check it out and discovered the rings was totally bent and warped outward. I suspect that at that last stop, someone set their bike against mine, hooked my ring with their crank or pedal, then pulled their back away and bent my ring. Grrrrrrrr... The way it's damaged, I can't figure out any other way it could have happened.

My group training Saturday was long as well....an 8 mile walk. I couldn't find either knee brace and was really worried. Told one of the coaches that I was game for the effort but would have to quit for the day if my right knee went out.

Worried was I.

Knees made it just fine...all the training has paid off!!!

I'm headed to Mississippi tomorrow.

it's Tab's grandmother's 90th birthday.

At least I get to go eat at Penns Seafood and get me a shrimp Po Boy!

I met a guy, and I LIKE him!

I went to a BBQ and I saw him... thought, oh yeah. He proceeded to talk to some of my friends... about ME.... LOL... one of them introduced us. And we have been talking/texting/seeing each other since.

He does not take sex lightly, which is cool.

He makes me laugh so much, and I make HIM laugh too.... so far so good...

Saturday's walk is 9.1 miles.


tomorrow night is yoga for runners. I am invited to a different yoga for runners on Friday night. I have that 9.1 mile walk on Saturday morning. I want to go see La Boheme Saturday night.

My children will be gone this weekend. I can do all that. Hmmm....

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, y'all might just know people who have had cancer. If so, if you know how much difference having good support can be when you or a friend or family member is going through a fight with that nasty disease, you need to go to my site and sponsor me. I am doing that half marathon later this month and I need to get that money raised.

Please go to MY GILDA'S CLUB PAGE and make your online donation. I get NOTHING for this. In fact, it's costing me. So, PLEASE help!!!!

That's great to hear Mo!

So this weekend is sign-up for baseball again. For those who missed that saga, WstbxH has signed up for my league the last 2 years since we separated so that he could bring OW around and flaunt her in front of me and my friends. After a blowout at the end of last year, I considered quitting but as things stand now, the guy I'm dating has been in this league as long as I have and is looking forward to playing on the same team as me. So I guess I'm signing up (or breaking up but he's a nice guy).

In any event, a new drama should begin over the next few weeks. I'll do my best to ignore them as usual.

Its nearing the end of the semester and I have two project papers to complete this weekend. Going back to school has been very stimulating. I enjoy my lecturers and my classmates are fun.

I have sacrificed TV, exercise, movies but gained by lots of reading and made some new friends. My credit card bill has reduced by two thirds; I go out less and spend more time at home reading and researching. I still keep my online dating connections and they have been helping with my assignments at school!

I will be in Singapore all of next week, meeting my online teams from work... am also having a guy friend over on the last day of my trip, we'll have a night out and do some shopping the next day. Final exams will be on the following week.

9 miles this morning. Next Saturday is 10. Have you made your donation yet?

Have fun in Singapore. It's a beautiful city.
I'd love to go back sometime.
If you haven't been, it's like Disneyworld. Everything is so clean and orderly you can't believe it.

I really want to get to KL one day, just dont' know when.

painting a habitat for humanity home this weekend, playing paintball on saturday. got a date sunday

I'm going to church definitely tomorrow night, probably Friday night since I don't have anything else to do and church is an approved widow activity, and probably on Easter Sunday. There's a lot of church during Holy Week. Oh, and I'm going to my SIL's for Easter brunch. I'm looking forward to that. And wait, there's more. I'm going to a friend's house for dinner on Saturday.

Home tomorrow half the day with my kids. Their mom asked me if I would keep them so that she can work. She's been very accommodating with my ride schedule so I said, "Why not?". I plan to spend the day doing yard work. I just hooked up my XBox 360 again so they can play video games while I'm outside working.

Yes, I'm an awful parent for that.

Saturday is our last training ride for the season; 71 miles (whew!), but over mostly "flat" terrain. It's billed as a "tune up" ride before the big event next weekend.

I won't lie - I'm pretty nervous about it. I think I'm in good shape and I seem to hold my own against the more experience veterans during the training events. Still... I am trying to fathom riding 100 miles one day, then another 80 the next. Just doing a single century (100 mile ride) is considered a big deal within the cycling community. The idea of doing almost two, back to back is overwhelming.

I get my kids on Sat evening overnight and on Easter Sunday. We'll all go to Hippie Church, and maybe to an egg hunt afterward. Then Jill is probably going to go into work for a bit. I'll take the kids back to their mom's Sun evening.

10.1 miles on my shoes - that's what we did today!!

newly, call on me if you plan come to KL... I'll show you around!

The Singapore trip was very good. I met the Group chairman and CEO (rare opportunity) and mentioned my research paper to the Group HR Head, who was very interested as my research is focused on the company's leaders.

The trip also coincide with my boss's birthday and we celebrated at the famed Raffles Hotel. I had my Singapore Sling. It was a productive trip overall, plus, we had a few networking sessions and there were lots of good looking men. Yes! This trip I realise I am not as shy as I would be years ago whilst married. I am happy to report that I can mingle well with strangers-- we had the Parisians, eastern Europeans, Koreans, Japanese, Hongkies, Thais, Australians, Singaporeans and Philipinos-- am interested in what they have to say and can offer perspectives on different subjects.

I received my new laptop when I came home... but can't connect it to the internet as I only have dial up and the laptop doesn't have a dial up port. The phone line is still in X's name. I spoke to him two weeks ago to transfer the line to my name and he said ok, but when I called him again yesterday he was grudgingly reluctant. I can't add broadband services without his acknowlegement and signature. I ended up shouting at him... he triggered bad memories and past hurts, I hate losing my temper and raising my voice, I brought up the past-- how irresponsible he has always been and that I suffer the brunt of his irresponsibility... bla bla bla.

Anyway, I went to Telecoms and got a new account in my own name and was given a really cool number and will get broadband when the line's been connected. I didn't expect to burst out that way after so many years. Am disappointed in myself and kept praying for forgiveness as I have behaved so unchristianly. Since the divorce, I have always prided myself at letting the past go... I feel sad that his past behavior still affects me and I cried. Oh, if I were to have a new relationship, please let me not ever behave this way.

Ruff, don't beat yourself up too much. Everyone does that sometimes. It's just hard to remain detached and cool when you're hurt and inconvenienced and others aren't doing what they are supposed to do.

Glad the trip went well. Glad you like your new laptop.

thanks cindy

wow. I have had a sad, draining weekend.
My grandma, my last grandparent went into the hospital last week. I visited her, and she seemed to be doing great. I get a call, she is on a ventilator.... I HATE that... it seems like once they put you on that, forget it....

I went to see her, spent time with her, she was lucid, but could not talk, in a lot of pain, they could not give her pain meds. because her blood pressure was too low. After almost a day, she wrote a note stating, "I'm too sick, I'm dying, I love you all". She wanted pain meds. She got them, she passed away.

And, it was HARD... she seemed so healthy, she loved life, she NEVER talked about dying... and now SHE was gone. It is hard.

I was at work when they told me about her being on the ventilator, and I just left. She died the next day. My brain was all muddled, I was just SHOCKED. I did not have the kids on Sat. I did not go to work, I basically just saw my family, my friends, then I went to the house of the guy I have been seeing. He was just great. He held me, put on a movie, we talked, he was just there, with me, for me, until my brain quieted. I finally slept. I slept so good, I forgot how nice it was to just have affection and support from someone.

I got up, went to work, and then got my kids.

Today I was at work, and I got a call from my sister that my mom now is in the hospital... But she did not want any visitors. I told my dad too bad, and I went to see my mom. She was happy to see me, and we talked, she cried, I cried, and then I left when my dad got there. I am emotionally drained.

All I know is that when I am stressed, I want to run away... I am glad that my friends and my new guy were there for me... they helped me, and are helping me... I am TERRIBLE when it comes to death. TERRIBLE. Which is odd. Normally I am IN CONTROL. If someone dies, I am a total wreck.

Wed. is the wake. Thurs. is the funereal. I hate wakes. I never have liked them...

Mo

I am so sorry.

I know there are no words to make it better. Just be sure we care.