i havent been on this website in 2 years. long story short my husband had affair 3 years ago. he lives with this woman who is married as well. we are not divorced because of financial reasons. i assumed the bills and the house. our daughter is now 18 and she will be graduating next month.
i have not dated or seen anyone since this happened. i firmly believe that i shouldnt do this since i am still married. to tell you the truth for some stupid reason i still have feelings for this man. why i dont know. i have been asked out by really nice guys but i feel so guilty that i cant do it. i feel i am cheating even though we havent been together in 3 years. my emotions are all over the place. i am depressed one minute and the next i am putting a fake smile on my face to show my family and friends. to make matters worst i was talking to him and we was talking about graduation. i finished the conversation and he ended with i love you! i pretended like i didnt hear it. the next day he called because he had the money for his part of things and ask me did i hear what he said. i acted like i still didnt know what he was talking about. he said i told you yesterday that i love you and you didnt respond. i said how am i suppose to respond you still live with her and going home to her. those words dont mean anything. he said whether you believe it or not i do and i know i have done you so wrong. trust me when i say i want to make it right. he said he dont know why still goes home to her. i said well until you figure it out we have nothing to talk about when it comes to this.

on top of all of this our daughter seems to be taken the toll of this rocky course. i have tried to do everything i can and not bring her into things. she is now dating this boy that already has a baby on the way. i feel that i failed. she lied about where she was last weekend and i was so upset. i took the cellphone and computer away. then i find out she sneaked and bought a pre pay to talk to this boy.

i have just felt so awful. i feel like i have been on a roller coaster ride. i know i did the right thing but why am i sitting here crying over it? i just need some advice on how to approach this... please help! i just feel like i am so alone and why does bad things happen to good people? i try to keep faith that everything has a reason. i cant stand myself when i ramble like this.. so sorry

omg he just stopped by. saying he was concern about our daughter and he wanted to talked about the situation. i told him i was just on my way out i had an apppointment i would call him once i get back. why all the interest? he isnt allowed at the house per OMW why is he starting to break her rules? my mind is spinning. someone please give me some good advice. i know that good advice isnt always what people wants to hear but at least it can put a different look at things...

WH saying "I love you" is his sneaky and underhanded way of manipulating YOU.
He dangles this word in front of you to keep you EXACTLY where you are.


Sadly, it's working.

its true in some way. i have been more involved with going out with friends at work. i just cant bring myself to go out with someone else. in my heart i know its wrong. i am still legally married to this man. i cant afford to get a divorce. i am barely paying what i have now. i been trying to keep myself more busy. i keep him at a distance and try to talk when i need to. what more can i do?

No relationship talk. Tell him, "Only talk to me about finances or our daughter. Nothing else."

Only communicate about necessary business.
If he says "I love you" .... hang up.

he's the puppetmaster pulling your heart strings.

"Love" doesn't have an affair.
"Love" doesn't live with someone else.
"Love" doesn't manipulate.
"Love" considers the other's best interests.
"Love" remembers one has a daughter and what the consequences of own actions would be to her.
"Love" would accept responsibility for self. BTW, is he paying child support? How about spousal support? Maybe you should see a lawyer and have HIM pay the attorney fees!