on how he can help me feel safe again.

I know some of the typical ones like, passwords and access to cell phones. How are some other ways that a fwh can make their spouses feel safe again with them. I try to put it into words when I talk to him and he still isn't understanding it. It's hard to explain how before this I felt safe with him, and now I no longer feel safe. That before this stuff happened I could share the deeper parts of me my emotions however when all of this stuff started I put that away for protection and now I am having a hard time bringing it back out and sharing with him.

Any and all ideas and suggestions on things he can do to help bring back a little bit of that safe feeling would be great.
Thanks

About a month after d-day I made a long list of all my triggers. I included suggestions for how H could help me through them. H has done a first-class job of responding.

Also, once when I was checking H's cell phone for recent calls, I accidentally listened to a voice mail and then worried about H not knowing it was there. I was afraid he'd be mad about me snooping. I finally confessed and H gave the perfect response. He told me he wanted me to look, he expected me to look and he wanted me to do it forever. He absolutely did not want me to feel bad about looking. I can't tell you what a relief that was.

Same here. A year after Dday, I still have access to all passwords, cell phone, voicemail, etc. and also check tp make sure things are still good. I don't 'enjoy' snooping but I do it and hope that one day I will not feel the need to do it any longer.

FWH calls me numerous times during the day to let me know where he is and who he's with. I know if he's leaving the office for lunch, who he's going with and where they are going. I know what client calls he has, when and where.

How about WH writing a list of EP's. And he can REASSURE you constantly that he his being O&H.

It's a long, bumpy road and a year into it, for me it's better but not gone. H is doing whatever it takes though and that's the important thing

I am doing whatever it takes also. My husband can have complete acccess to all my emails, phone, anything he wants for as long as he wants, and i saw it best on Dr. Phil when he said that if you wont do it, or say it, if you spouse was in the room, it is considered cheating. I struggle with my husbands secrets though... i know he has a secret email account i know nothing about that he said was for access to porn sites. etc but i have never had the balls to ask for this info since i am the WW..... he has his his cell phone bill from me also, and deletes his browsing history all the time. Sometimes i tell myself i have no right to ask him for honesty when i was dishonest to him for those few weeks, but to be honest, i would think a healthy marriage would require both of us to do this??? i have been working so hard for 8 months to prove myself, and have been as close to a perfect partner as possible.....

it sounds like you two have good communication...dont be afraid to thik-tank it out with him and ask him to help with ideas too