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RC shouldn't be too hard for you to meet right now...try to plan some sort of RC every weekend at least. For now, you can probably include your daughter but eventually you will want it to just be the two of you.

Admiration is usually a high one for men, though a lot of men have a hard time admitting that. My FWH would not admit that AT ALL during this A. I'd add some Admiration in there as well.

It's good that he admitted Physical Appearance is an EN, now you know something you can always meet!

Yes he didn't put admiration on there but I know OW provided a lot of that!

I'm feeling really hurt right now. When I exposed to his family, all were shocked and supportive. But now he's told them how he doesn't love me and and probably never did and that we probably shouldn't have ever gotten married. It seems as though they are now going "oh poor you!" to him and it makes me angry.

Hi VST, I have been following your posts and story from the beginning. I didn't want to interfere with all of the great advice you were getting. I think you are doing great! Please don't give up hope. Your H is justifying his actions to his family. They probably feel awkward so don't feel too bad about that.

I can be feeling so good and a little thing like that just put a knife in my gut!

Thanks OS. I know you're right, it still hurts a lot though!

That is totally understandable! He did what he did and you are getting the fallout for it! It's a lot to shoulder. I was reading so much on here today and read LALA's postings about waywards and it is sooooo good. Have you read it?

PS - Are you reading about mmmherb?

Yes I read LaLa's thing about waywards. It's right on! I'll check out mmmherb. Thanks.

BTW - After a long waiting game my H. and I are in Recovery thanks to this message board! You have to look at how far you have come since your first post . . . I think I picked it up?

I can only remain hopeful that the same happens for us. We're at a standstill right now.....

You will make it! I know you will. We went away last week for 5 days and had a great time. We talked a lot about the MB concepts and I couldn't get over him understanding the lingo because he was spying on me. What a reversal.

My MIL just blasted me about exposing especially to work. I'd love to reply but just don't know what to say....

Bad....You cannot "educate" your WH. It only comes off as a LB to him. Any attempts to do so, will only frusterate you more, because the Fog Horn will start going off.....

WH..."yes that was good, but it doesn't apply to ME"......

WH..."These people don't 'understand' our situation"...... :crosseyedcrazy:

WH...."People don't know what OW and I have".....


See what I mean?? You know the fogcrap already sucks and hurts, why invite yourself more pain???

I should also let you know at this time, even if he were to come home today, quit his job, and committ to Recovery, he will still be foggy for quite some time. Plus he would also be going through withdrawl. BUT....the good news about that is it doesn't last forever.....

Hang tough girl. You are getting there.....I did notice though, your "rougher" times are during the evenings. You should try and do things to help you through these times (though coming here is a good one...). Start a new hobbie, pick up an old hobbie you haven't done in a while, take walks with DD, play board games with DD......

not2fun

ps....tomorrow we will talk about those EN'S. Sorry but I ain't putting up with a bullhockey "Kinda-hard-to-do-these-with-him-not-here" excuse. My WH was moved outta my house as well, sooooo, If I can do it, so can you......

What happened???....be specific

She e-mailed you . . . well I would just tell her your intentions to save your M. She can't blame you for that? Her grand-daughter deserves to have her parents together if possible . . . just a thought.

She just felt that it was wrong because I should have handled it with the WH without bringing others into our business. That I shouldn't be taking advise from 3rd parties and should just ask myself what I should do next and go with that.

All this thru emails...

Although I'd love to reply back with what I think is right, I'm not going to. She's really in a tough place and I have to empathize with her. She's been really good to me so far. So I'll leave it alone.

Ignore your MIL, you have bigger things to worry about and you will not convince her anyways.

She'd rather throw you under the bus than admit that her flesh-and-blood did something so horrific. She is probably humiliated by what he did and is now ashamed that people know HER SON is capable of something so ugly.

I have a SIL who threw me under the bus when I exposed as well, I just said "Well, thanks for being so supportive of our M...you have no idea what I have been through. I'll know better from now on who I can count on to be support my efforts to save our M since I am the ONLY one trying to do so.".

And I hung up. The next time I saw her she was extra super nice, I think she realized that she was wrong...not that she would ever admit it.