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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4 |
married 6 months, wh's affair started 7 months ago. he finally came clean. wants to work it out, ended things with ow. is there any hope? i feel like all is lost.
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,249
Member
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Member
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,249 |
So he started the affair one month before the wedding? How horrible. I am sorry to hear this. You must feel sick. Do you have any children? How old are both of you?
Over it.
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4 |
no children. i'm 29 he's 27. I should add we were dating for 7 years before we got married.
sick doesn't even begin to describe it...there really isn't a good word for it.
Last edited by lmb006; 04/16/09 07:49 AM.
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,249
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Member
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,249 |
Ok, there are no children and the affair lasted longer than the marriage. This is a tough one. What do you want? What he wants doesn't matter.
Over it.
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4 |
Good question - I dont even know what I want. Before I wanted to work on the marriage, we've been to counseling, but the truth never came out before, so clearly counseling didnt help. I knew something was wrong, but never thought it was this. Now that the truth is out, i dont know what the marriage even meant to begin with. The whole marriage has been a lie. How do I even get my mind around it? I dont see how this relationship can be saved, even if I wanted it to be.
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,249
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Member
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,249 |
Recovery is VERY difficult after an affair. It takes YEARS of hard work by both parties. You haven't been married long and you are young without children. Do you want to spend years working on restoring your trust and faith in a person that betrayed you longer than your entire albeit short marriage? You will never trust him completely again even with the hard work. Is it worth the work and the pain?
Over it.
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4 |
Thank you. I understand what you're saying. It's a hard reality to hear, so I think this is something I'm going to need to think through.
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