Lil, I received a call from my husband earlier, he left a vm/ I was working so I couldn't answer. His voice sounded staunt. I will call back in the morning.

It's just that lately his conversations, or text are not nice. And so, I am relunctlant to return his call.

This is within the 6 week Plan A - carrot and stick. Still trying to be pleasant.

If he is not nice, I will just hang up the phone. He just seems so different. He is not the same person.

what does he want, he never just calls.

I'll just wait and see what he has to say.

I read Philemon, Titus 2, and 2 Timothy this morning. can you help me with the messages.

thats ok. end the call politly and end it. you dont have to take every call he makes and you can wait before replying to text
I dont know what means sorry

plan A is to show them the best side of you. It is not to allow them to use and abuse you.

His voice sound staunt, (light, but firm).

Thanks for your response

Wow, you read quite a bit in on sitting.

These are advanced books in that they teach instruction to teachers. The one thing that came across is that they teach humility and importance of a Christian follower.

I would start at the first few books of the New Testament (maybe John). The gospel (good news) is all about the difference of Christianity to any other religions. The beauty at this site is that people think that they are undermined by BS's. The truth of life is that we have ALL undermined God AND only He can rescue us. Yes, we are all black.

Hi Sunshine, havent heard from you in a few days.

How is it all going? How is the bible reading going?

Hi Lil,

I went to a Friday night Bible Service tonight with some of my family, met some more really nice people. Things are good!

I did return the call to my husband, he was at work and said that he would call me back because he coudn't talk at work. I have not heard back from him.

I have been reading scripture more and meditating more. I do still miss him, and wish things were different, I just need to face reality, and that is that he has been gone 9 months. I still pray that he will come home, and will continue to stand in the gap.

I believe prayer is powerful, and God has given me peace in all of this.

I have to move forward and that is what I am doing. Working on me, re-grouping - creating a healthy lifestyle. These are the things that I was doing when I met my husband. I don't believe that I have change that much, I still have good people around me and we stand for what is right.

My life is simple, and I like it like that, no chaos. Having fun doing little things. Going to dinner with friends, things that normal people do. Feeling safe in my heart, my mind, and spirit.

I read my list of mantras daily and confirmations, I have been trying to exercise, and I have increased my business. I am thankful for the moments of peace.

Hey Sunshine,

Glad you did not run away. Keep us posted!

Hello,

I am not sure if this is anything, but my husband paid the cell phone bill for the first time in months. I have not talk to him in over a week, he just paid the bill.

I have been paying the bill for several months, and he has offered one time to pay and didn't. this time he paid without saying anything.

Still no contact. I have not called him and he has not called me.

Actions..... those are the best signs we have. Keep praying, taking care of you and leaving it in G-ds hands.

I know how hard it is to not be in contact or know what's going on the other side. But G-d has it handled and doesn't need our help today.

You are doing awesome sunshine.....

Hello Queenie,

I have recieved several signs today, one is your response, thank you for your encouragement, days are better. The other sign - I had finished my shopping and was setting in my car when I began to read scripture, Psalms 27, when a woman knocked on my window and said that the cashier said she forgot to put my receipt in my bag, she said to me "you are reading the best book in the world to read, the Bible". The presence of God shows up, you get to see his face in so many different ways.

Jeremiah 29:13 - when you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart,

just small signs and wonders!!!!! I know I am on the right path.

I have read that you are doing well, your journey has been one that I am following, you give me courage.


Thank you Queenie, and yes, I am taking care of myself, today is a day for me to read,rest, and reflect.

Wow, how do you continue to stand for your marriage? My husband moved out in February and filed for divorce in March. He is having an affair. It has been going on since November. I miss him so much. Most of our contact (just about all of it) has to do with our girls, ages 15 and 12. I am so sad and so hurt.

Please get advice from the senior posters. I am struggling through it myself. It is hard. and I feel your pain, and it still hurts, to be betrayed. We had discussions of being married for life, that we were not going to be apart, no matter how tough it got. yes, we have had tough times as every couple does, but when he left, in my eyes for no real reason. I am still very hurt.

My thinking, and our commitment was that we would workout anything together. I miss my husband deeply, each and everyday I miss him. we were best friends, we loved being together, and then real life happens, family issues come up, even though our children were not in our house, they had issues, and then the real test comes, it is not so playful anymore, we have to really find a way to get through the stuff. Sometimes, individuals only want the beginnings, not the stuff, and so they find new beginnings. and yet, the past is still here. sometimes I think my husband wish I would disappear, so he would not have to deal with real life. Now that's the fantasy! disappearing acts!. Only in the movies.

I sometimes feel like you, but the senior posters help with support. We are not divorced. So I would like to think that we have some hope. I have read so many stories about couples going through more than our marriage, and they work things out, people are apart for different amounts of time, for different reasons, and they also say, they would never return and yet they get back together. so that is where I get some light.

time is everything, and prayer does work, that is the reality of it all.

From what I understand, affairs don't last, and at some point the ws will eventually in most cases make an attempt to return. I hope things work out, people's lives are changed forever, the moment they walk out that door, it will never be the way is was, and that is a good thing. You have children, I am sorry for the pain and hurt you are feeling.

Have you given up on your marriage. You have a better chance than the OP. You have some history, those memories do not disappear.

We do not have kids together. So our contact is because we still have some hope, he may not admit it, but he manages to find a way to stay in contact even if it is from a distance at times. I just have to take care of me. I miss him very much.

Sunshine, it is an honor to read about your journey as hard as it is. And here you are helping others with incredible wisdom. Good for you.

Keep the prayers and faith going. It's all we have, right?

Hi Queenie,

Yes, prayer is all we have. You are also right about how hard it is.

I will continue to stay in prayer. So many has helped me along the way in the amount

My husband has filed for divorce, I am so hurt, he does not want the marriage, I worked the plans, and have been taking care of me. Now, how do I get through this pain. He is still saying that he was not happy. and that he is never coming back. He is not even nice about it. Just cold and mean.

How will God deal with him, he doesn't sound happy at all to me even after filing for divorce. He has a lot of anger and excuses about why he wasn't happy, and all of it was my fault. I do not have money for an attorney. this is so painful. I don't want to deal with any of this, he treats me like I am an enemy. It's like he is out to make me hurt. The things he says is cruel. and he says that God is going to bless him. am I getting this wrong. He believes that the grass is greener on the other side. He will not admit it.

I don't know what to do right now. I don't want this divorce, and I don't want to deal with this pain. It seems so unreal, and a waste, he is vengeful. It is beyond me why he is so bitter, and resentful.

sunshine I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I can't imagine if/when I hear that my W wants the divorce. Sometimes even though you do what the plans say the other person just isn't in it emotionally anymore. I can't believe that I'm writing that but it's just the truth. I know that doesn't help you in your pain though, but know that you did everything you could to try and save your marriage. You have to realize that and accept that you tried your hardest to make it work. As long as you realize that you will at least know that.

I will pray for you and do hope that you try and look towards the future now and start to heal.

My husband is getting more vengeful. His lawyer has been calling leaving messages, asking if I have a lawyer, then my husband text me last night (on a friday night) and ask if I was going to contest the divorce, My response was, do you want me too? he text back and said that he just wants a yes or not answer, and he used my name. this does not sound like him. he replied that the reason he was a divorce is because he has plans with op. doesn't sound like he is in paradise if he is contacting me on a friday night.

Why is he asking me these questions, if he wants out, what difference does it make. Why is he in contact with me, if he has a lawyer, and if he is happy with his new life?

I am having a hard time with all this. I really believed that we could have worked it out.

I believe that the op is deeply involved in all of this.

I emailed him this morning and said that I have not disrespected you, and if you want to talk to me call me or come by like you did before.

I am not sure how to handle this garbage, this is hard?

DRAG your feet.
Get an attorney who will agree to help you ~~~> delay the divorce.
(if that is your desire)

You need to know what your goal is ... if you want to give your M a chance - do not cooperate with a divorce.

I don't want the divorce. I do want to try an save my marriage. I don't have money for an attorney. I have been paying all the bills and things are tight.

Then what is your plan.