I have posted this in the D forum and in the infidelity forum.

Briefly, WW is at it again for the third time. We have 5 children and one passed away 7 years ago. She was carrying on with a EZ online. Once i discovered this i told her we were done and that she needed to get an attorney. She didnt do anything except find another person to continue the EA with. She confided in some one she knew 20 years agao (and knows nothing of her cheating past as well as her drinking problem). Her two passed A were physical. This one hasnt turned physical (?) becuase the person is in another state. She conitues to communicate with the OM via a new hidden cell phone. We are in teh same house but sleep in separate bedrooms. We dont speak untles its about the kids and even then its limited. She is using the kids as messengers when it comes time to communicate something to me. I am done with this relationship but i feel for my children (eldest is 14).

I have consulted an attorney and a D is very expensive and costly for all involved especially the kids. I feel we need to mediate this to a point where we have the childrens best interest at heart. This cant happen while she is having the A.

I feel that it is extermely hurtful and damageing to the kids to contiue to see this on a day to day basis. Its also hurtful to me...

I want her out of the house at least until we can get to a point that we can mediate the D successfuly.

I cant legally throw her out and she wont leave. She is a typcial cake eater. I think she expects me to leave the house the kids so she can bring her OM in.

Dont know if OM is married or not and quite frankly dont care. From my persective Im done. This isnt the first time. Its the 3rd. Technically the the 4th actually.

Do i plan B now since there is no legal recourse i can take. She has a drinking problem but has no DUI or any documented instances other than some out patient sessions 5 years ago.

any advice? any sample plan B's. I read the books in the past but dont have them anymore. .....

Do the kids know about the A?

I suggest talking to your lawyer and getting some legal advice about your situation (not about the D, but what options are open to you while she continues to flaunt her A in your face like this).

Frankly, if my FWW started to engage in a similar practice, she would come home one day to find her clothes on the doorstep (if not in the trash) and the locks changed. If she insisted on remaining the house, I would instead on putting her clothes outside every time she communicated with the OM, whenever the opportunity presented itself for me to do so.

You may also want to consider purchasing one of those cellphone jammers and installing it in a hidden location in your home. Turn it on every time you leave the house, or you think she may be indulging in any conversation over that "hidden" cell phone.

didnt know they had the jammers...

yes the two older kids know.

its easy to say and harder to do. I can do it but im afraid of the legal issues. I have spoken to my attorney about this already and unless there is abuse there is nothing i can do.

What your WW is doing to you know IS abuse!

Does she have a job?

Maybe it's time to go a bit more public with her abuse and shameful activities.

And yes, jammers are available. Googling on "cellphone jammer" should turn up a few hits.

she has no job.

Cut off ALL finances to her then, as hard as you can. Not a penny towards her, for anything. No joint accounts, nothing. Pursue legal separation so she can't get you into any further debt.

Does she drink and drive?

i have already cut her off financially. She is getting money from somehwere somehow and not helping with food or anything for that matter.

she drinks every day and drives so im guessing thats a YES. She is a "functional drunk".

There is no legal separation in my state.

Help her out by calling the police next time she is drinking and driving. You know the car, make and model, license and where she's going, I assume.
I can't believe that anyone knowingly lets someone drink and drive.
There are functional alcoholics that take others lives every day in car accidents, it's your responsibility to see to it that she is stopped. Every time it happens!

Recent, Multiple DUI offenses would also be helpful in divorce proceedings, unless of course you don't mind a drunk having custody and driving your kids around while she's drunk.

Dunno, just a few thoughts!

i will but i dont always know where she is going. im not condoning the functional drunk thing...
i think this is also why she wont work or leave the house.

This might help,

GPS Tracker;
www.zoombak.com

This bears repeating!

Do NOT finance her ruining your life!

oops, hit too fast.

Are you sure you're not financing her? What exactly do you pay for? Do you pay for her gas? Stop doing it. Do you give her lunch money? Stop doing it. YOU buy groceries, kids' stuff, etc. Nothing that she can benefit from.

This is war. Let her feel the consequences of war.

Oh, and the next time she leaves the house, drunk, just call the cops and say you begged her not to leave cos she is too drunk to drive, but she did anyway. Give them her licence plate number and model/make.

shes getting money from somewhere cause im not giving it to her.
she has no access to the accounts online and there is no money in the one joint account.

will do on the next time she leaves the house.

Have I missed where we discussed whether you exposed the affairs to her family and friends?

they all know already. her sister condones it as she is going through a D herself. Missery loves company. its easier for her family to enable her than to actually help her or more importantly help her kids. im just so sick of the whole thing. it disgusts me how insensitive people can be and how selfish people are.

She has also re-found friends (social networking site) that knew her 20 years ago but dont know all of the history. She has new ears that listen to her.....that will end pretty soon too.....