W and I have second joint session today and am getting nervous. Will she use this session to bury me like she did at our previous attempt before she left ? Or is she willing to work on our marriage ?<P>She is acting better towards me, calling and coming over to do things(she finished cutting the grass for me, made dinner for me and the kids and watched them while I went to paly softball last night), however when I got home from softball, she immediately left, saying she was tired(darm anti-deps).<P>She called this morning and I told her I would pick her up to go to the session today, we were going separate as I was to be away for work but I changed my plans.<P>I guess I'm just being impatient. I have been reading too much about midlife crisis, and other emotional/pschological problems that I can identify in my w and that scares me.<P>While I'm not much of a planner, this is too much up in the air for me!<P>Wish me luck!

RWD<P>Get out that measuring stick and make a smaller notch to measure that progress. It is progress, and you need to be patient and believe this!<P>God bless.<BR>TNT

Hi RWD -<P>Good Luck and I've said a prayer....you'll do fine!!!!<P>Baby steps!!! One day at a time!!<P>Hugs<P>Sheba

Made it thru couseling today alive, almost didn't survive trip home!<P>Counselor spoke with w alone first and then with me alone double checking on things I said in our initial visit.<P>We then talked together about setting some goals and asked what we thought our problems are. We agreed on communication, having more fun together and then I brought up her job.<BR>And then the hour was up.<P>And then the fun(?) started. She said I have a major hang up about her job. I said I do in that I feel it has come between us and that its the most important thing to her.<P>She said it is her calling and she can't help it that I don't love my job like she does. I like my job(paper work sucks) but it is not the most important thing to me. She says it isn't to her but I don't what is.<P>We then started talking about our lack of communication and she said we don't have anything in common.<BR>I said only thing she is interested in is medical related. She asked for an example and when I gave her one she had an excuse about finding something in common with someone and just talking. I asked what she talked about at work and she said politics, WWII history which she is a buff of(?).<P>When I told her that she had never mentioned that to me before in 18 yrs of us together she got angry.<P>We even argued about what is going to happen with Y2K. She wanted to get firewood and food supplies. She felt I just dismissed her because I hadn't done anything about it and the factc that I disagree with her on this.<BR>I never see her reading a newspaper or even watching the news. She gets all her info from her friends at work and I guess thats part of the reason I have a problem with her job.<P>I think the biggest problem is that she doesn't have much respect for me or what I do for a living and I resent that and when she makes a statement I feel that I'm being compared to her friends at work so I drag my feet which angers her more which causes her to nag which..........<P>She is starting to convince me that maybe we don't have anything in common, maybe we much too different to make things work.

RWD - Boy does your W ever sound like my W. All the same kinds of things, no respect, a lot of criticism about anything and everything, getting angry when you're just trying to raise a subject and discuss it, etc., etc., etc., etc. Man, what IS it with these chicks? But sounds like you're at least making some progress with the counseling. Next session, why don't you try saying some of the things you say about your W in your last post, though I've got to warn you, I tried this and really got thoroughly reamed by our counselor. BTW, what is it about your W's work that bothers you? R & B,<P>--Wex