Ok So I am very new here and dont know any of the abrreviations. Sorry!
My Story:
I am 25 years old. My H is 26. We have been married for almost 6 years. We have 2 small children (5 & 2). My H and I were having problems and then one day he told he wwasnt happy and thought he wanted a divorce. Well I was devastated and I found out 3 days after that (in the beginning of March) that he was cheating on me. He said it only happened once and she meant nothing. He still was unsure if he wanted to get back together with me. I was practically begging him to come back. After almost a month apart We went to one counseling session that did not go well! 2 days after that I realized he was never going to make up his mind and I said I couldnt do it anymore. Well after lieing to me some more I found out that he was still talking to her and other women. I am completly done but I am still hurt! I have to admit I still miss him at times.
I changed my world for him! I devoted myself to him and our family! He threw it it all away. I feel worthless! Why didnt I meet his needs?

This is where any advice would be great:
How Do I start the healing?
How Do I stop blaming myself?
How Do I stop asking him why he doesnt love me?
How Do I start moving on?

In Mid May I will be moving back home and I am hoping out of sight out of mind will work. Until then any advice would be great.

I don't have time to answer your questions right now, but wanted you to know that people do care.

I hope someone will be along soon to help, but evenings can be slow sometimes.

I feel worthless! Why didn't I meet his needs?

Feeling worthless when things go wrong is a natural thing. You are not the only one. Worthless is a FEELING though, it is not a fact.
Tell us why you think you didn't meet his needs -

SS

Ok, first thing take a deep breathe. You are not worthless, just as SS pointed out it is a feeling. A crappy overwhelming all consuming feeling but just a feeling.

I wish I could tell you that there was a quick fix answer but the hard honest truth of it is- time. I am not a vet by any means but I hear the pain and anxiety in your post and am all to familiar with it.

My advice is read, read, and read some more. The more you read the more you will realize you are not alone, you did cause this, you are not to blame for his actions and you WILL BE OK!

There are several threads here that were life saving to me, one is NOTABLE POSTS, the other Was Marks advice for Newbies, and success stories. In these threads you will find absolute pearls of wisdom. I have even printed some out to keep on hand.

Also make sure you read the articles here by Dr. Harley, and get the books asap. I wish there were more that I could do for your, but as Mark points out there really is no magic bullet.

Keeping posting, keep reading and help will continue to come when the vets show up.

Good luck.

mom2,
Do you want to save your marriage or are you done and want to move on?

GG

***bump*** Yeah what GG said???

My advice is to get mad! Not mean mad, just indignant mad! No matter what your marriage was like, he had no right to do this. Stay mad at him! IMO, it's the only way to show him he just may lose you, and wake up.

YEP. MAD. Not name-calling mad, but righteous indignation mad. My favorite lines "How do you live with yourself? How can you look in the mirror?! Are you really ready to teach our child that dishonesty is so acceptable, because kids see and do... monkey see, monkey do! I can't believe you did this, and I can't understand HOW you can live with this?!?!"

Yes! I am done! He continued to talk to her and see her even after I asked him not to while we went to counseling and then he told me he wasnt talking to her but he was plus I found 3 other girls he is talking to!

I am mad and he is losing me and the kids but I dont think he cares. He doesnt call and check on the kids or ask how they are until I call or text him first. I still text him in the morning wishing him a good day at work and I know I have to break that habit! He has already started his new life in his new bachelor pad with his new bachelor friends! He just shut off his feeling like 7 years meant nothing! I want to write him a goodbye letter but I wouldnt know where to start. He has moved on I want to move on too!

You need a good support group. That could well be us.

There is also a divorce section that could help out with legalities.

Gentle tip. Keep reading the articles section. I do. It has helped my marriage.