Wow, SL for some reason you were heavy on my heart today and I had NO CLUE what was happening.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SL}}}}}}}}}}}}} Yes, I do.... because its that same gratitude I carry for you.

What are you going to do to be good to yourself tonight?

Well, the night is nearly over for me. I was pretty lazy when I got home. Wrassled with DS a little bit, tickling him and giving him rasberries. His laughter does a heart good, y'know.

Other than that, I'm going to hit the hay and get some sleep...

This girl is POOPED

People kept suggesting I CELEBRATE somehow.

They have no idea what they say. Divorce is nothing to celebrate. The destruction of a family and of hearts and hopes. Not a celebratory matter.

Now, my survival is, so I'll raise a drink to THAT, but not the demise of my marriage.

I so understand and agree. I don't think there is anything to celebrate when a marriage ends. As for your survival, you are a force that we have all gotten to witness and admire.

You have shown us strength, grace and dignity and it's an honor to be a part of your journey.

SL



You had one helluva run here. Well said about the lessons learned. I'm right behind you on it all. If all goes as planned I will be D'd in May.

((((((SL))))))

We all know how hard you tried and i felt so bad for you when the Z first told you that he couldn't do this anymore.

However NOW you sound as though you have learned a lot about yourself and you sound as though you are really okay with this D. I am sure that you and DS will have a wonderful life together.

And i agree that the ending of a M and breaking up of a family is NOT cause for celebration.

But the NEW AND IMPROVED SINGLE SL is a GREAT cause for CELEBRATION!!!! So you go out and do it girl!!!

SC

S/L:

Sorry about the final nail.

You sound really terriffic. I hope the plans for AZ are progressing.

Small steps. But steps nontheless.

(((S/L)))

LG

Well SL you finally got here. For what it is worth, welcome. The last of the Bees!

Divorceland! Some of the rides are broken and the roller coaster is pretty tame compared to Adulteryland. But the company is good, the cooler is stocked and they keep up the gardens pretty well.

Clearly Pennsylvania is nowhere near as brutally efficient as Colorado when it comes to the destruction of families and marriages. I think Montana would like to be brutally efficient but both of the lawyers in Montana are booked up pretty solid and Judge Roy Bean only comes to town ever 8-months or so. He favors judgment on cattle rustlers and horse thieves before divorce anyway.

Absolute Divorce? Probably better than Super Secret Probation Divorce.

Wow. You have been fighting in this mess for 4-years now. 66% of D6’s life!

Let the new life begin.

Good luck SL.

Aw, Miss Lucidity. My heart goes out to you.

Do I offer sympathies or congratulations?......maybe a little bit of both.

There are time still that I am in a quiet moment alone and I think "what the hell happened? and how did we get here?"

You done good, sis. You should be incredibly proud of yourself. The road is wide open now - waiting for you to claim your lane.

Fox

They call it absolute divorce so when people ask if you're divorced, you can say, Absolutely!

I'm just glad it's over SL. The last amigo has completed Plan D.

How about a final dance for the Amigo's as presented by SDguy. semiautobiographical

We love ya, SL!

Fox

Hey, nobody told me they were taping that!

SL, congratulations and I'm sorry.

Now you're in the club, like half of the people in America. There are plenty of us here. It's not one that you wanted to join, I know, but it's not so bad, either. You did your best. It's not your fault.

There is something to celebrate. Not the end of your marriage and the destruction of your family, to be sure, but the end of the legal part and the new beginning that comes with it. You don't have to do it today. Rest now.

SL

Leave it to the Bees to give me a good laugh. Guy, you've got some good moves--smooooooth.

I'm ready to move forward now. Next step is to start my job search. It's lookin kinda lean. Any suggestions ABOUT THE JOB MARKET would be helpful ( I wanted to stress the 'job market' so that BC didn't go wild--although I'm sure he can find something to say about the job market). I was thinking of a couple of head hunters to send my resume to.

LG, thanks for sticking with me for so long. I'm glad this part is over. Relieved.

4 years is a mighty long time, but it was worth it to know I did all I could. I really am a happy girl. No tears were shed, no major sorrow. Acceptance occurred when I filed for the D in the first place.

I don't think DS even remembers what it was like to have his family together. Not really. He's always been around the turmoil. With things settled now, he has really done well. He's a happy kid, and we have lots of conversations about the separation/divorce and relevant subjects. He's a joy. I hear this lasts until puberty, and then all bets are off.

I guess they call it an "Absolute" divorce because it sounds better than a "Johnny Walker" divorce.

You sound good SL, healty and stable. You've come a long long way on this journey and you're a better woman for it.

((SL))

SL,

As said so well already, it is an end,,,,and a beginning. You know that staying focused on the 'good' aspects of what has ended makes it a bit easier. An end to the turmoil for both you and DS. An end to the legal battles and topsy turvy emotions that go along with it all.

You have done exceptionally well under the most horrific of circumstances. You have grown & learned. You have worked hard to come out of this a whole person, and have emerged on the 'other' side of it all as a true Goddess.

Wish I had great advice on the 'job market' for you, , , but I'm sure BC will come along soon with a timely and well thought out plan to help you along!

{{{{SL}}}}

'scuse me, Miss Lucidity, a little birdie told me you might have an update?

Fox

Ms. Foxy is persistent, I'll give her that, and well deserving of an update

Okay, okay...here goes...

I am in the process of looking for employment in Arizona...and I am in love.....with AZman (as if you wouldn't know who). Say what you will, I'm cool with what I am doing. I'm satisfied with the fight I made. I speak to xH regularly regarding DS and whatever is going on with DS's life; it is as amicable as possible.

I received the divorce judgment in the mail, and owe the lawyer ~$200 more and it's done. I'm glad that part is over. We still have property to settle. The Z and I will be discussing that next week, as part of a meeting about getting a plan in place for the coming year.

The Z was hit hard by the news, as I expected. This leg of the journey is going to be a challenge, for DS, for his dad and for me. This is my decision and I take responsibility for it. I believe that DS will be okay as long as mom and dad are okay. No need to baby him; he will adjust, and he will have the love and support of his ENTIRE family; everybody loves that kid so. I don't want to look at this from the doom and gloom, the cup is half empty side of things. When I moved, as a child, to Germany, it ended up being a great adventure. I have never looked back and thought "oh, whoa is me for that experience". Anyway, off my soap box I go...

About AZ man; I knew, as soon as we started talking, that the potential to fall for him AGAIN was HIGH. He was and is a good man; even better with age. Anyway, we'll see where it all goes. We talk a lot about where we went wrong in our marriages; where we have improved, and honesty, even when it is difficult, abounds. Even when it's not what I wanna hear, he's honest. He's a very strong man; manLY, if you will. It's been a challenge to me, to shut my mouth and LISTEN; REALLY LISTEN.

I practiced this with the Z, being honest and open, but he would not open up to me; he was always so far lost. Very frustrating. It's just a dang shame, is all I think he thought it was slow torture, instead of a way to build intimacy.

Anyway, that's the cliff notes version. Any questions?

So, so happy for you SL. You are the next one to prove that there is life after a D. You deserve so much more, and you got it!!!! Way to go girl!

Don't forget, one way to get to AZ is on I-10!!

AZ is much closer to Colorado.

I approve!