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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5 |
It seems to me that even if the wayward returns back to the marriage, the betrayed spouse, after all the suffering during the affair, still have years to come to pick up all the pieces. Did your OM/OW suffered at all other than a week or two of love sick after the break up?
It seems that most of them just walk away scott free after months or even years of fun.
Former waywards, how do you feel about the fact that your spouse is suffering from constant triggering and your former OW/OM just walk away after having all the fun and now away from the mess?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5 |
For starter, since I was the one who posted this question, I would be one of those who want to know. I am sure there are other posters who wants to know as well.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,637
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,637 |
Request,
Many of the people who post here are suffering. You are a newcomer and we know nothing about you. You will not get many responses unless and until you tell us something about yourself and why you are here.
We are not here to provide fodder for school projects or curiosity-seekers, or for people who wish to rub salt in our wounds, or people who are hear stalking their injured spouses or their affair partner's injured spouse.
So who are you? What is your personal story?
Chrysalis
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083 |
College social research projects are not welcome here! Dustkitty!
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5 |
What school projects are you all referring?
I am not looking for detail answers, but a simples, "No, she got away scott-free and moved to another single man" or "Yes, he suffered as he lost his job and got into deep depression after the break up."
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 945
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 945 |
the betrayed spouse, after all the suffering during the affair, still have years to come to pick up all the pieces. I'm in second year R and I don't see myself picking up the pieces - my FWH is picking up the pieces and doing a great job because our R is going great. Former waywards, how do you feel about the fact that your spouse is suffering from constant triggering and your former OW/OM just walk away after having all the fun and now away from the mess? My FWH doesn't think about OW and how she feels - as far as he's concerned she never existed. Yes, my FWH deals with triggers (me) and picks up the pieces and puts them back together. The triggers become less over time as we fill each others EN and stop the lovebusters - 2 things that are crucial to a happy marriage. What's your story Request? GG
D-Day #1 Aug/2007.
D-Day #2 1/27/12
Legally Separated
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5 |
gg615, thank you! That's the exact response I was looking for. And, good for you that he is the one who's picking up the pieces and not you.
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 945
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 945 |
Why won't you tell us your story?
GG
D-Day #1 Aug/2007.
D-Day #2 1/27/12
Legally Separated
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,093
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,093 |
Request/dustkitty,
Who really gives a flying f at a rolling donut what the OM/OW thinks?
They are valueless, in my mind.
The OW in my case scurries off like a cockroach in my presence. She knows her place in the world. In between the cracks, in the dark.
Get real. After the initial shock wears off, the BS and the WS soon realize that the affair is NOT about the OM/OW.
The WS usually trades DOWN. WAY DOWN.
Who cares what they are thinking - they are toe jam.
SB
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 526
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