I forgot this little bit from the exchange the other day with [censored]. [censored] informed me he's looking to buy a house so he has room for the kids to come stay with him.

This must be a tactic suggested by his attorney to save face during the divorce. Funny that he said this considering he put on his disclosure form in black and white that he spends 0.00% of time with kids and Holyheart spends 100.00% of time with kids AND that he's living with "girlfriend" and "girlfriend's sons."

I still can't believe that he disclosed these things. You'd think he would have put something -- even 2% of time spent with our kids -- instead of zero. And instead, should have said he was living with a "friend" instead of "girlfriend." Sheezzzz...

And as for buying a house -- hello!-- he's in debt up to his eyeballs and the only asset he has is our up-side-down house. Who would loan him a dime?

And come to find out -- [censored] is still pushing this thing through. His attorney called my attorney the SAME DAY [censored] met with him to set up a meeting. My guess is that Skankyho is hoping for a summer wedding.

And yes, Cat, his mother and father know all. Hey -- they are my biggest supporters. Said they'd even testify against [censored] if need be.

Gotta love that!!!

And I know, I know -- back to Plan B. Now that [censored] has attorney, there should be no more exchanges between us. I seem to recall someone posting the expression "My lawyer will be handling that." So that will be my pat answer for everything from now on.

But this is still so hard to accept that the d is moving ahead. And for the last two nights, [censored] has been in my dream.

I miss my H...not [censored]...but my pre-A, pre-midlife, pre-a-hole H.

Well, I was just wondering if they are actively giving him a hard time. Who else can harass him?

His parents? Oh, yeah. Whenever they talk to [censored] (he picks up his mail there occasionally), they let him have it.

So who else can harass him? Hummmm.....everyone I know knows. And many have tried to talk with him. I've told family and friends to "back off" when he was home during recovery attempts and to "do, say, whatever you want to him or OW" when he's gone and wayward. I've heard that OW has received texts and phone messages from who knows who calling her names. I plead the 5th on that.

I've seen OWs Facebook page with her and [censored] posing like teenagers (gag). I haven't harassed her from that angle. (yet)

Any suggestions how to ramp up harassment to the 10th degree WITHOUT jeaporizing the D?

I know, I know.....stay dark.

"Exxxxxxxcellent" - Monty Burns

Chris -- You are always the voice of reason. The voice of EXPERIENCED reason.

And it looks like life is pretty rosy on the other side for you and DD.

Happy Mother's Day. Hope you enjoy the flowers, perfume, candy and girly, girly things DD gives you (hee, hee).

Yep, DARK. But,keep the financial pressure on. That will definitely put a strain on the A. I think OWs resent any money being spent on the wifey.

Just thinking about parenting on this Mother's Day.

I'm recalling the many parent-teacher conferences throughout the years for our 3 kids. Both [censored] and I would attend and we'd joke beforehand knowing full well what each teacher would say....

"Mr. and Mrs. Holyheart. What can I say? You should be so proud of your child. He/she's the top student in my class. He/she has such great qualities. Excellent work ethic. Smart. Helpful to me and the other students. Friendly. Never misses a homework assignment. Always prepared. Wish all my students could be like them."

Then the question -- "What is YOUR secret to raising such a great kid? Your child is the student every teacher dreams of having in their class."

One teacher was expecting her first child and spent the whole conference asking us for advice!

We would laugh and say that we're doing nothing special -- just doing what we thought every parent was doing. We spend time with our kids. We pay attention their homework AND their friends. We know their business. We believe in family and family-first. We eat our meals together. We go to church together. Blah, blah, blah....

Now my kids are teenagers and [censored] is basically out of their lives. He spends zero time with our kids. He has no clue of their homework assignments nor their friends. He does not know their business. He has abandoned them and broken up our family. He's turned his back on the church. Blah, blah, blah.......

He's obviously counting on me to continue what we started. He thinks the foundation WE layed is enough. He's done with the "unglamorous" day-to-day parenting and, when he feels like it, may show up at an activity or game.

But I can't stop parenting despite the pain I've experienced and the increased workload I'm under. I have to do the work of two parents as my kids manuever through their teen years with the added pressures of sex, drugs, peers, etc.

Parenting never ends -- should never end --

Financial pressure MUST be building.

[censored] wants us -- without attornies -- to hammer out a financial deal. Says he and I can pretty much come up with something then pass it along to attornies to save money.

Hummm....I don't think so, buddy. Remember -- I'm not your friend, you are living with Bimbo and her kids, you cannot be trusted, you are divorcing me, etc.

I'm just ignoring him. And don't worry -- I'm keeping with my "no negotiating with terriorists or waywards" motto.

Funny how money, not the kids, is his number one settlement priority. Just goes to show you where his head is.

What a maroon!

We know where his head is...up his backside. Oh wait what head are we talking about...

OK---Holyheart is getting a life.

Pole dance class last night, pedicure today, who knows what tomorrow.

So watch out, [censored]. Holyheart is not only GAL but is getting real angry.

So don't F with her.

"When you see my face, hope it gives you hell...." LOVE that song.....

Simple sermon at church this evening. How we serve God when we serve others.

Even little, thankless deeds like driving the kids to soccer practice or making their lunches or doing the laundry are examples of living the life God expects us to. Trouble starts when we become selfish and put our needs in front of others. Hummmm....I wonder who that could be?

I'm still reading "The Shack." There is an example of how we are to look at God in terms of priorities. The example is a mobile with God as the center and all the other things in life (spouse, kids, job, finances, etc.) floating around the center.

I invision the solar system. God is the sun and the other things are the plants and stars. Some are bigger (more important) than others. But ALL evolve around God. And, like the sun, God plays a part in each of the planets and each of the stars and each of the floating garbage.

OK -- I'm not a science major so don't 2X4 me if my solar system isn't accurate.

Bottomline -- I've been looking at God as the top of a Maslow-type hiarechy of needs with other priorities of spouse and kids and job, etc. as being below. I now like "The Shack's" version better with God as the center and God having a hand in everything. And depending on the size of the planet or star, God's hand may be more involved than others.

I am still turning my situation to God and I see His influence now in different ways. I say it was a Godly thing that [censored] charged stuff on the credit card. And God directly me to find just the right attorney. And God had a hand in leading me to find the receipt I needed. And God is keeping me strong to battle for my family.

I still think I am on the winning team. [censored] is playing for the losers. God is my coach and the devil is his.

Didn't mean to get preachy, but I FIRMLY believe that as long as you are living the right life, God will be there for you and will lead you to where you need to be.

Hi HH, Your right, I used to try and control and got no where. Now I watch what God is doing and I could not come close.

I do believe as long as the waywards continue to live this life that no good will come there way. I know my H is now on AD, if he is soooo happy is it because he needs to take drugs and drink to get that way.

This is where God wants us know for whatever reason.

Me preaching again. Doing yardwork since it finally cooled down and just had a revelation.

During one of [censored]'s false recoveries, we met with our priest who said that each of us were responsible for our spouse getting into heaven. Like I was responsible for [censored] getting into heaven and he was responsible for me. I thought "Holy [censored], I'm doomed."

Now I get it. See...because I'm still being selfless under the circumstances of [censored]'s betrayal and I'm still holding out hope for [censored] to turn away from his sins and because I will continue to teach my kids and stay true to the values and morals of God, then BECAUSE of [censored], I will get to heaven.

And, because of the way [censored] betrayed me and broke his vows between me and him and God, and because of the way [censored] is living with Bimbo and her kids and has turned his back on our marriage and ME, well -- [censored] will be headed in the other direction.

OK, OK...I'm not God...and I'm not judging who gets in heaven and who doesn't.

But, my priest said that each spouse helped each other into heaven. And if I'm understanding this right, [censored]'s affair is leading him down the path to hell and my unconditional love and willingness to forgive him is leading me towards heaven.

Whew...I feel better!

OK -- another revelation....we PICK our spouse. It's not like our parents or siblings who we have no say in who we get. And, face it, we don't choose our kids. They're a mixture of genes and we get what we get.

So if we can't treat well and remain loyal to the person we CHOSE out of everyone else in the world, then something is wrong.

OK -- back to yardwork.

HH, This makes me feel better about all my waiting for WH to wake up. Its like I wonder why I am willing to wait it out. But I took my vows serious, for better or WORSE, and I am willing to forgive MY WH for all the hell he put me thru, if he is willing to stop sinning and work on our family.

But if he is not willing to do his part, at least in gods eyes we didnt let our pride take us over and dump WH sorry asses right when we found out they were wayward. WE gave it the best chance we could and moved on. ANd now I will be fine in my heart if wayward doesnt come back Ill know I have given him every chance that my heart could take.

Exactly. We did the "WWJD" thing dealing with the affair.

Now -- the tough part -- WWJD as I proceed with the D HE initiated?

WWJD? Protect the innocents -- my kids. And to protect them, I will need to nail [censored]'s sorry a$$.

IN j's name. AMEN

Today is an awesome day. DS is graduating with honors. I am so proud of him.

He's a dream kid. 4.09 GPA. Three scholarships for college. Member of the student council. Lettered in two sports.

He keeps his room clean. He tells me he loves me. He does his own laundry. He takes out the trash and makes sure the doors are locked at night.

He goes to mass each week. He works out every day. He's handsome and funny.

And he has values and morals. So strong is his commitment to our family that he's been in Plan B since his d-day.

For 16 months, he has not spoken to his Dad.

Being a young man of few words, he very simply asked me "Why can't Dad just be a Dad? Why does he have to dress in expensive clothes and buy an expensive lap top and have the latest phone? I just want my Dad back."

And as for apologizing -- [censored] "tried" via text message. DS said "anyone can send a text. Not the same."

I love my DS.

Today -- please pray for him as he walks the stage tonight. He has upheld to the letter his school's theme for the year: COURAGE OF FAITH.

In case you are wondering -- [censored] was mailed a ticket to attend the graduation ceremony. Just like a friend or a neighbor.

If he attends, fine. If he doesn't, fine. It is his loss.

And today is not about [censored], anyway. It is about DS and his accomplishments.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! You raised a great kid.