Seems there is a lot of valuable information spread throughout various threads that some waywards might miss. This is a shout out to all BSs and FWSs that have advice for those that have strayed and are trying to find their way back.

What NOT to do:

Do not hide any details about the A no matter how insignificant it seems to you. Your BS has the right to know whatever he/she wants. Trying to control the disclosure of information WILL backfire and R will prove more and more difficult if not impossible. DO NOT DO THIS! Fear of hurting your spouse more or losing them is no reason to keep the deception alive. You will destroy your BS with more lies. You WILL lose them, one way or another, if you go this route.

Your BS's trust in EVERYTHING has been completely destroyed. Things that you once may have been able to joke about before or songs that you once listened to may likely be seen as insenstive if not an outright insult to your BS. Please keep in mind how extremely sensitive the BS is and will be for a long, long time.

No contact means NO CONTACT!!!! Not a phone call, a text, an email, inquiry through a friend, looking at the OP's myspace page, not working in the same building but on two different floors...NADA!!! ANY contact with the OP is another kick to the gut of the BS. You kick a dog enough...if you manage not to kill it with cruelty, it will soon rip you to shreds or run away.

Dorry's Guide for WW's

The links don't work right now within this thread but I'll see if I can find them.

Mark

Suzet On Withdrawal

To show that MB advice hasn't really changed all that much in a while: Cardsonly's Thread


There are so many great threads around here it would be impossible to list them all. The search function DOES work, BTW for those who want to use it to look for other material.

Some suggestions for searching:

If you are looking for a post with a specific phrase or word, put that phrase or word in "QUOTES" in the search bar and try to narrow the timeline down if you have a guess as to how long ago the post was. Failing to use quotes searches on each word rather than all words together, so if you don't use quotes you need to realize that the word "the" will appear about 50 billion times.

Always enter something into the "Older Than" block that is newer than the "Newer Than" block. Be sure you don't just look for posts "Newer Than" some recent time since many of the older posters have not posted for years. (Newer than 5 years but older than 3 years might yield a lot, but newer than 3 weeks might give you nothing at all)

If you have a favorite poster or find a post by an older member no longer posting and want to see what else that person had to say, click on their name on the post you already have and then click on <View Posts> to see everything they ever posted under that name.

Though many links are broken you can still find some that work and trying that is a good way to begin, but if you have a thread name or poster name in a link, search on THAT information to find what you are looking for.

You could read here for 10 years and probably not get everything read.

Mark

What a great link Mark! Thanks for all you do.

Would love to read some of the ^broken^ links if you can find them.

Thanks black_raven for starting this and Mark for your contributions. I can't remember whether I posted on my thread about how you know when you've earned your F. I've been wondering about it this week.

Just an FYI about this thread, be warned it contains posts by the most foggy, unrecovered WW's pining away for their affairs. IT is sickening. That thread is a shining example of how enablers and useful idiots can help the foggy stay fogged. Talk about the blind leading the blind!

That was a refuge of old skanky WW's like board troll and pro-affair WW, Sarie, who ENCOURAGED affairs and encouraged WW's to long for their affairs. ["Ladies don't you so miss the sweet kisses of OM?" ] Her goal here was to PROMOTE adultery and protect the wayward while attacking betrayed spouses.

That old harlot operated under many aliases and tormented this board for years. She routinely attacked betrayed spouses for daring to say derogatory things about adultery and did her level best to start board wars between WW's and other board members. Among her names were BlessedTime, Sarie, Itwontrainalways, Celt, Summersky, Grace37. There are several on that thread because that was her refuge.

Many of the waywards on that thread are still wayward at last report, btw.

I noticed! It almost gave me comfort that I could see the waywardness so glaringly.

It should be up to your BS to give you your "F". If they believe you've earned it, then you get one.

Mel,

I wondered whether or not to link that but I think it applies to a couple of threads today since it DOES show that foggy thinking and wayward mindset have not changed and aren't any more unique than back then.

It is pretty much a thread about what not to do if you want to recover and yet the first few pages really could have been posted to some of the more recent WWs who arrived in the last couple of months.

Thanks for the explanation, Mark. It makes sense the way you explain it. That is a classic thread, IMO, of the very worst that MB has to offer. I cringe with personal shame when I see that thread.