The boards are slow on weekends. People have other commitments - I wouldn't read too much into it.

I really hope MS is working on repairing the damage she has inflicted on her marriage and her faith instead of just mouthing the words.

Of equal concern is her lying. She is a pathological liar. I don't know if she always was. I imagine that since she has always been an adulteress. She has always been a pathological. And unless she went through a polygraph test. There would be no way of convincing me that the first kiss she referenced was only a kiss. She falls into affairs like someone turns on a light switch.

Sparkly,

Our school district is closed this week, but if you need me, try the cellie.

I'll try to read on at least once a day.

Thank you...I appreciate it.

We have filled out our LB questionnaire for Jennifer and will be phone counseling with her at 6:00PST tonight.

My list of EP's will be posted soon.

Postnup will also be forthcoming.

I am willing to take a polygraph but cost is preventing us from being able to proceed with it. It's close to a grand and we just don't have the funds.

I openly confessed to several members of our church family (and the pastor's wife) of all of the lies that I had been withholding and came clean with everyone. To my surprise, I was hugged, loved and forgiven. They all know that I have a lot of work ahead of me, but they're there with me every step of the way. I'll be going to our church recovery group tonight right after we finish with Jennifer.

Spartan and I were very close this weekend. It's been years since I felt that connection and it felt so peaceful.

I know there are some members here who really dislike me and would rather that I leave.

But those of you who stand for marriage and want to see Spartan's and mine succeed, we thank you because that's what we're working for.

Sparkie, call around to some more polygraph examiners. I found one in a high cost of living area for $500. That's about normal. This is cheaper than divorce and you need to do this.

Thank you, Chrysalis.

Even that we don't have. The $195 we're spending for the phone counseling is putting us behind on bills. We'll do everything that we can afford to do.

I don't dislike you and I don't want you to leave.

I do intensely dislike some of the things you have done, but I know people are capable of change, so I hope you too can change.

I don't think anybody hates you. You may feel that way because of the direct way we ask questions. People may not believe you, and mistrust you, because you don't answer a lot of their questions directly. But nobody hates you.

Thank you, both. I am here to earn my "F" for Spartan.

Ours was even less than this and we went with a VERY reputable polygrapher.

MS, I don't think anyone even wants you to leave...we WELCOME those wayward spouse's who are actively and truthfully want to earn that "F".

Many may be angry with what you have done and how you have manipulated and lied to not only Spartan, but everyone on these boards.

But everyone here wants marriages to SUCCEED, and yours is one of them.

I whole heartedly agree that the deceit was deplorable and I am truly sorry to everyone for that. But now you've got the real me, and I know it will take time to build trust again.

Thank you MF.....that brought sweet tears to my eyes. That's been happening a lot lately.

Ours, also, was less than that, $400. And was also with a very reutable and experienced examinor.

You know why, Sparkster? If it's at all like what I experienced, if you have indeed told the whole, complete truth, you felt close to Spartan because nothing was between you any more. You didn't have any fences of deceit up around you. You were able to let Spartan all the way in because there was nothing you needed to hide, and you were able to reach all the way out to Spartan because you have everything to gain.

It's a fantastic feeling, isn't it?

Remember that.

Prayers remain...

I was told to shop around too, I did and I found one for half the cost.

It's spring, it's garage sale season.

Material things are not required for rebuilding M.

Where there is a will, there is a way.

You DO and you SURRENDER whatever it takes .....

Sparky's list of EP's.

1. All passwords for my work e-mail account, Yahoo account, High Flight Society MySpace account and voice mail will be shared with you.

2. My cell phone will be given to you or traded with you at any time you request it.

3. All texts, voice mails and e-mails will remain on my phone until you delete them.

4. Business lunches will be taken only when another female is present.

5. All bills will be shared with you.

6. Verizon bill will be completely open to you online so you may verify my call history and call any number at any time.

7. I will dress appropriately. Any clothing that you feel is too revealing will be donated to Goodwill.

8. All counseling (Godly or worldly) will be done with another female.

9. All doctor’s appointments will be make with a female physician. If one cannot be obtained, I will have you accompany me.

10. All grooming (hair and nails) will be done by a female.

11. I will save all receipts on the board in the kitchen for shopping trips that were made while you are not with me.

12. I will not participate in any bodybuilding competitions. Any physical fitness activities will be done together with you.

13. I will not engage in any flirtatious conversations with anyone other than you.

14. I will not share our personal life with anyone other than you.

15. I will not allow another man to accommodate my emotional, recreational or physical needs.

16. I will not allow another man to solicit relationship advice from me. I will refer him to Marriage Builders or a professional counselor.

17. I will not party with girlfriends unless you’re there.

18. All trips with girlfriends will be made with someone you know and have their cell number.

Sounds like a great list of EPs.

Now, are you ready and willing to actually employ it???

Words only mean so much...ACTIONS are needed now, MS.

<P.S. My FWH also had to give up IBs...it was hard for him at first. However, it's been a few years now and I don't believe he misses them...or at least not very much. We have filled in the gaps TOGETHER. We now weight lift TOGETHER. There is no time for him to mourn those things because what we do TOGETHER is so much more fulfilling. It CAN be done, MS.>

Already gave him all of this information. I do not do any social networking or instand messaging and he has the means to verify this.


Absolutely needs to be clearly stated.


We both enjoy going out with our friends TOGETHER. I participate in women's church activities and if Spartan feels that this is unacceptable, it will cease.