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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Wayward: To be or not to be???

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Wayward: To be or not to be??? #2252503 04/27/09 09:13 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 862 Brisbane, Australia M myfamilyilove Member
myfamilyilove Member M Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 862 Brisbane, Australia	I have what I feel is a valid question which I would like answered: If you are a BS and your WS tells you the M is finished over and over and over again, and you meet someone and become involved, are you also having an A? Does that make you a wayward? If so is that fair? After all you've been through he11 and have been told over and over the M is over? Is it worse if you're new love interest is married, or does that make a difference? Thoughts? Plan D June 08 Me FBS 36 W 38 Married 13/1/09 The best is yet to come, with or without your WS

Re: Wayward: To be or not to be??? myfamilyilove #2252512 04/27/09 09:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Are you describing yourself? "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: Wayward: To be or not to be??? MelodyLane #2252514 04/27/09 09:32 PM
Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 3,686 Ankh-Morpork K karmasrose Member
karmasrose Member K Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 3,686 Ankh-Morpork	If you are married, and you see someone, even if your WS tells you things are over, YOU ARE CHEATING. Not divorced? It's cheating. One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger I will not spend my life this way.

Re: Wayward: To be or not to be??? myfamilyilove #2252515 04/27/09 09:34 PM
Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 3,278 D Dancing_Machine Member
Dancing_Machine Member D Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 3,278	Originally Posted by myfamilyilove I have what I feel is a valid question which I would like answered: If you are a BS and your WS tells you the M is finished over and over and over again, and you meet someone and become involved, are you also having an A? Does that make you a wayward? If so is that fair? After all you've been through he11 and have been told over and over the M is over? Is it worse if you're new love interest is married, or does that make a difference? Thoughts? Okay, if you are asking people here then: 1. Yes. You are having an A. You are still married. Does it make you a wayward? It can. 2. Yes. You are having an A. 3. Yes. It makes it worse. Now...if you ask someone out in the so-called "real world" the answers will be different. Such as.... 1. Would likely be: "It's good that you are not wasting away while your spouse cheats. Why shouldn't you date?" 2. Much the same as above. With maybe a little added "attaboy or attagirl" 3. "Couldn't you find someone who isn't married?" Also depends on morals, religion, beliefs, and a number of other factors. Charlotte

Re: Wayward: To be or not to be??? MelodyLane #2252533 04/27/09 10:59 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 862 Brisbane, Australia M myfamilyilove Member
myfamilyilove Member M Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 862 Brisbane, Australia	Originally Posted by MelodyLane Are you describing yourself? No. I'm not talking about anyone in particular. But someone did tell me recently that you could have an A without being wayward. The difference in my view is if you as the BS are done with the relationship. If you've already filed for D and are waiting for the final decree in the post then as far as I'm concerned, yes the M is over. Obviously some will say that its still an A until you receive the decree. Thats codswallop in my opinion, especially when you live in a place where there is a 12 month seperation period. Plan D June 08 Me FBS 36 W 38 Married 13/1/09 The best is yet to come, with or without your WS

Re: Wayward: To be or not to be??? myfamilyilove #2252535 04/27/09 11:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 4,083 K KaylaAndy Member
KaylaAndy Member K Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 4,083	Yes you are talking about someone in particular - you've chased her all over the boards for a few days now. Your pound of flesh delivered yet? or are you going to keep gnawing on this bone? What's it to you? Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.

Re: Wayward: To be or not to be??? myfamilyilove #2252536 04/27/09 11:08 PM
Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 6,128 P piojitos Member
piojitos Member P Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 6,128	Originally Posted by myfamilyilove No. I'm not talking about anyone in particular. But someone did tell me recently that you could have an A without being wayward. That isn't what was told to you. That is how you are trying to twist what was told to you. Kudos though for finally sneaking one past the mods. You made half a thread disappear yesterday.

Re: Wayward: To be or not to be??? KaylaAndy #2252537 04/27/09 11:09 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 862 Brisbane, Australia M myfamilyilove Member
myfamilyilove Member M Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 862 Brisbane, Australia	Originally Posted by KaylaAndy Yes you are talking about someone in particular - you've chased her all over the boards for a few days now. Your pound of flesh delivered yet? or are you going to keep gnawing on this bone? What's it to you? I think there are a lot of BS's who wonder about this very question and thats why I've started this thread. Try not to be so narrow in your thinking Plan D June 08 Me FBS 36 W 38 Married 13/1/09 The best is yet to come, with or without your WS

Re: Wayward: To be or not to be??? piojitos #2252538 04/27/09 11:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2008 Posts: 920 R Revera Member
Revera Member R Joined: Apr 2008 Posts: 920	This didn't work yesterday, Vladie, and it won't work today. Moderator Revera01@aol.com

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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Wayward: To be or not to be???

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