I've been staying away from MB in recent weeks but I find as the 2 year anniversary of D-day approaches, I'm back more and more. Perhaps if I give an update, it will help me vent and I can get on with normality again.

My life: I sold my house last fall before the real estate crash hit here. I actually made 50% more than what wstbxh and I settled on it. I've taken a couple of vacations including a really nice Carribean cruise since then. I am closing on a really nice house - huge upgread from what I had due to the now-depressed real-estate prices- at the end of May. Financially, my situation is far better than it was while I was married since I no longer have WstbxH draining the account. DS finished college this term so no more tuition payments. Oh, and I also bought a new car just after Christmas. Work is also going well and I'm finding new enthusiasm for the job that has been missing for a long time now. I'm dating a nice guy who is a lot of fun but doesn't make me feel pressured into anything. I think I'm ok.

WstbxH did ask me for a form last year that he needed to file the divorce. Just to explain - in Canada the legal separation agreement takes care of everything that an American divorce does with one exception. A divorce certificate is required to remarry. The certificate is not difficult or expensive to obtain, but you do have to take a day off work and go to city hall and pay a fee. He was seeking divorce because he wants to marry OW, but it's interesting that he never followed through. Either they are having problems (the A must be approaching it's 3 year anniversary) or like he was in my life, he's just too darn lazy to bother.

Most people don't bother until they need it. It's just our legal system works a little differently. So for the benefit of MB'ers, I have refered to him as w"stbx"h, but for all intents and purposes, he's really WXH. In fact, from now on, this is what I'll call him, since I don't require the certificate for anything so this is far as I will go with it.

WXH: Still living with OW. I see and hear very little these days. I saw him at DS's graduation, but prior to that I hadn't even spoken to him since before Christmas and hadn't seen him since last summer. Despite this, I have a few anecdotes to share - perhaps the karma bus is warming up?

First the grad. Prior to this DS had a presentation for their 4th year project. It was open to the public and all the parents came. Even my mom came fresh out of knee-replacement surgery with her cane. WXH was a no show. DS was very disappointed. I expected him to be a no-show for the grad as well. His FB page (has no security so anyone can see everything) is full of every single minor little event in OW's DD's life so clearly he has replaced his entire family. But the jerk actually showed up - whering tattered jeans and a scrappy looking jacket, but at least he was there. After the ceremony, we all took DS out for lunch. DS invited him and he felt obliged to come. It was the first time since it all happened that he has been face-to-face with my mother. They didn't get along before all this and my mom isn't one to keep thoughts to herself. Fortunately, nobody even tried to kill each other so it was a nice day. WXH definitely felt more awkward than the rest of us.

The second anecdote actually took place the night before the grad, but I didn't find out until yesterday. OW and OWH have been in constant conflict, mostly because their DD is so young (she's now 8). OW also has a violent streak - over the course of the separation she hit OWH a few times (with small hand held weapons like candlesticks etc.). He says she's always been like that with her temper, but she is a tiny wee thing compared to him so he has never done anything about it. But on the night before the grad, she was picking DD up from his house and started a fight. She not only hit him, but she got in her truck (WXH's truck actually) and ran him over, knocking him into the garage. This time, OWH decided to call the police. She has now been charged with assault. It has also reopenned the children's aid case (they were called in early on because WXH was walking around their apartment naked and DD reported it). So, I have no idea what will become of this now, but I have to say I didn't read anything in WXH's face that something was wrong on grad day. His face was glued to his cell phone the whole time but that's nothing abnormal anyway. In any event, this could be the karma bus starting its engine.

Other than that, I have nothing really to report. I think of him less and less and enjoy my life more and more. I still carry a lot of scar tissue from this and I'll probably never be quite the same again but that's ok because just maybe, I'll be even better!

{{{{{tabby}}}}}}



The best revenge is having a great life.

The Karma bus will be around shortly

Good to hear your life is moving forward and upward Tabby. Hopefully OWH will be as fortunate. XWH was waking around naked infront of an 8 yr old girl?

The karma bus is reeving the engine... Stay out of the way and

Tabby, those darn anniversary's that seem to come up and bite us in the memories, taking stock of where we are at, etc.

Our timelines are so similar. I'm so impressed with how you accepted, moved on, and grown during this.

You took lemons and made the finest of lemonade, in fact maybe even a lemon drop with class.

Be kind to yourself..... It's important.

Thanks guys! It is somewhat of a shame that the karma bus is just starting to move since I no longer have ringside seats from which to view the spectacle. Then again, I heard WXH has signed up for baseball again this year so maybe I'll catch a glimpse.

It's funny how your perspective changes over what really isn't a very long time. At first, I yearned to see him just in case he finally snapped out of it and all of this would go away. Then, I dreaded seeing him because he was so cruel and continued to dream up new ways to torture me. After that I finally did manage to avoid him and now I want HIM to see ME -- with my tan from my cruise, my new car and other evidence of my new life. And though I hate to admit I have it in me, I kind of do want to watch his world crumble. Does popcorn go well with carnage?

Works well for Terminator movies, so why shouldn't it work for this?