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How do I start a new thread?? Slick, the screen that lists all the topics and the poster who started them, look in the left hand corner, right above Subject/Poster. Click on New Topic, from that screen you can title and post your sitch. Have I explained it all right or are you lost? 
M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA
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Slick Welcome to Marriage Builders. It is the best place in the world for your marriage. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. <---- Pepperband is correct (as always) post a thread. Let the vets here get you on the right path, let them help. I am sorry you are here but here is where you will find your answers and your best plan.
BW-me-56
FWH-GreenMile-62
Married 1982
2 wonderful grown sons
D Day #1 4/1985
D Day #2 10/03/08
D Days continued for a while.
Started real recovery 07/15/10
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SSS, I'm so sorry to know there are others out there like me. It's really a strange path between misery loving company (and knowing, through seeing other great people in the same sitch, that it wasn't YOU) and wanting to believe the world isn't that bad.
My parents are evil. Seriously. The things they said, and did. From the time I was old enough to comprehend words, I knew I wasn't wanted. I still struggle with how someone could be like that toward their own flesh and blood. I could never do to my child the things that were done to me... say the things that were said......
BS, 28 WH, 36 11/08-? EA(s?), no PA's, lied (net&women) MLC end 5/09? Enter R M 2000 Child, 5.5 yrs
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I am in need of a female sponsor.
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It does really suck. I am sorry you had the same sort of childhood I did. I made up for it by being the best mother I possibly could and loved my boys so that they would never even question my love.
BW-me-56
FWH-GreenMile-62
Married 1982
2 wonderful grown sons
D Day #1 4/1985
D Day #2 10/03/08
D Days continued for a while.
Started real recovery 07/15/10
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Honey, you need ALOT more than that. A leash? A chastity belt? Complete phone, computer and car access denial? It's well over sponsorship need. 
BS, 28 WH, 36 11/08-? EA(s?), no PA's, lied (net&women) MLC end 5/09? Enter R M 2000 Child, 5.5 yrs
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SSS-I can't figure out how to multi-quote... sorry... My goal is to be that for my child, but it's hard at time to look at my own vulnerable, innocent and precious child and see the lost parts of little me. And, I sometimes worry rather obsessively and it takes a long time for me to come back to the logical solution that everyone makes tiny mistakes here and there, but when I do, I beat myself virtually to death 
BS, 28 WH, 36 11/08-? EA(s?), no PA's, lied (net&women) MLC end 5/09? Enter R M 2000 Child, 5.5 yrs
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Honey, you need ALOT more than that. A leash? A chastity belt? Complete phone, computer and car access denial? It's well over sponsorship need. That hurt. I am not beyond help or change. I am just not the right person for you to sponsor. No one at AA is ever turned away from help. I'm hoping that this is the same offer here.
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I totally understand. This was told to me by a very wonderful social worker who did Mother Child play days and it relieved me greatly. Whenever you walk by your child touch him/her. Not much, just a brush on the top of the head or shoulder. If your child reacts then you need to touch more. When they stop reacting you are doing just fine. I don't know if it means anything or not but even now, when my sons are home for a visit at the ages of 23 and 25 I will do this and they still do not notice at all. If nothing else it will give you some peace of mind that affection is not lacking in your relationship. That is the best "pass it along" I know. The good life starts now with you. 
BW-me-56
FWH-GreenMile-62
Married 1982
2 wonderful grown sons
D Day #1 4/1985
D Day #2 10/03/08
D Days continued for a while.
Started real recovery 07/15/10
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Chai, Your heart is in the right place but I see too much potential for problems. I like that MB has many eyes to see things from various angles.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Honey, you need ALOT more than that. A leash? A chastity belt? Complete phone, computer and car access denial? It's well over sponsorship need. That hurt. I am not beyond help or change. I am just not the right person for you to sponsor. No one at AA is ever turned away from help. I'm hoping that this is the same offer here. Truth can hurt. When it does, we know it bears deeper introspective potential. I still don't see alot of change in you, so I said so. You need to hear it, even if you are still wearing earplugs and earmuffs, because we never know when they'll one day fall off and we can penetrate. That's what we're here for, you know, not to blow cotton candy up your tail-pipe whilst you supposedly *just* finished an attempted mass-gaslighting ***shrug***
BS, 28 WH, 36 11/08-? EA(s?), no PA's, lied (net&women) MLC end 5/09? Enter R M 2000 Child, 5.5 yrs
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I totally understand. This was told to me by a very wonderful social worker who did Mother Child play days and it relieved me greatly. Whenever you walk by your child touch him/her. Not much, just a brush on the top of the head or shoulder. If your child reacts then you need to touch more. When they stop reacting you are doing just fine. I don't know if it means anything or not but even now, when my sons are home for a visit at the ages of 23 and 25 I will do this and they still do not notice at all. If nothing else it will give you some peace of mind that affection is not lacking in your relationship. That is the best "pass it along" I know. The good life starts now with you. Oh wow, I like that one. I don't think kid notices... hmmm... have to see today...
BS, 28 WH, 36 11/08-? EA(s?), no PA's, lied (net&women) MLC end 5/09? Enter R M 2000 Child, 5.5 yrs
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As Lil stated, it's not meant to replace the board. Just a sympathetic ear when you are down and need a friend. For the several people who have emailed me either wanting help or willing to help, I will facilitate in anyway possible.
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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I like that MB has many eyes to see things from various angles. Really? Since when have we been allowed to do this?
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I like that MB has many eyes to see things from various angles. Really? Since when have we been allowed to do this? all de time
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I like that MB has many eyes to see things from various angles. Really? Since when have we been allowed to do this? all de time Really!? Wow I am shocked. You usually NEVER see a differance of opinion on this board....probally because they are usually edited or deleted before they are read or responded to. Ahhh censorship and the freedom of speech...one will always try to trumph the other.
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Really!? Wow I am shocked. You usually NEVER see a differance of opinion on this board....probally because they are usually edited or deleted before they are read or responded to.
Ahhh censorship and the freedom of speech...one will always try to trumph the other. Do you think they are watching?  You can always try running into a school and yelling FIRE! But dangit, they will likely arrest you for freedom of speech. Huh! Sigh! Can't say anything anymore. Guess we'll just have to go back to marriage building the MB way, what a drag!
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Really!? Wow I am shocked. You usually NEVER see a differance of opinion on this board....probally because they are usually edited or deleted before they are read or responded to.
Ahhh censorship and the freedom of speech...one will always try to trumph the other. Do you think they are watching? You can always try running into a school and yelling FIRE! But dangit, they will likely arrest you for freedom of speech. Huh! Sigh! Can't say anything anymore. Guess we'll just have to go back to marriage building the MB way, what a drag! There is a fire...REALLY WHERE? I will get the marshmellows....it can be done the MB way yes...no one waas saying it wasn't....but having opinions on all different angles and not just one is what is being discussed. Even good ole Dr. H says he wants all opinions on the board either agreeing or disagreeing.
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[Even good ole Dr. H says he wants all opinions on the board either agreeing or disagreeing. Well, we were told that Dr Harley said this recently in a private email, but within the last two weeks he personally posted on Emotional Needs to censure a line of discussion and he deleted one person's posts. He very rarely posts on the public forums but he felt strongly enough about advice being handed out to a newbie to stop that advice being developed. Therefore we cannot know what he meant by saying that all opinions are welcome on his board unless we see the whole context of that email.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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[Even good ole Dr. H says he wants all opinions on the board either agreeing or disagreeing. Well, we were told that Dr Harley said this recently in a private email, but within the last two weeks he personally posted on Emotional Needs to censure a line of discussion and he deleted one person's posts. He very rarely posts on the public forums but he felt strongly enough about advice being handed out to a newbie to stop that advice being developed. Therefore we cannot know what he meant by saying that all opinions are welcome on his board unless we see the whole context of that email. yeah, I know exactly where you are talking about. That was a long-time poster being VERY disrespectful to another poster by going into areas the new poster was very uncomfortable with. It had nothing to do about MB advice, The lt poster was full of DJ's about the newbie's parenting. Charlotte
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