I am desperately trying to put sex back in my marriage. I try to get close to my husband so I can feel safe and wanted. He shuts me out and I just hate sex when I feel so disconnected from him. Its not loving making, there isn't any fun or talking...its just the act. The thing that men don't understand is when you won't share with us your feelings, hopes, worries etc., a lot of women feel disconnected. Sometimes I think during the act "I can be anyone". Sadly I can't even remember the last time we made love (as opposed to having sex). Physically the sex is good. I have no problem with my physical self enjoying it. But I feel somehow dirty when we are done. Is not satisfying.

I don't expect(or even want) passionate love-making every time. But after so long, it feels like two plastic blow-up dolls.

I have talked to my husband about this. He either doesn't understand or just feels its not worth it. Or at least that's how I see it.

I feel cheated out of something that could have been wonderful.

I would love some input from some men, if you would please be willing to help me out.

Thanks

Hi. I took the survey. Our sex life had dwindled from 4 to 5 times a week to once or twice a month. Now we are around 6 to 8 times a month.

did it! Where are the results?

I Took it , Thought maybe in would be more in depth.

Did the survey. It made me realise what a terrible state my relationship has been in for a long time.

I know about sexual disconnection and feeling like dirt afterwards.
Listen, I have kind of the same problem........ and ofcourse discussing it has been impossible........my solution? I am going to master all the confidence in the world plus a huge helping of self esteem, and the next time i sleep with my husband i will tell him exactly what i want him to do and i will go ahead and make bold moes towards him about what i would like to do to him too.
He is gonna put me down, say no, laugh in my face probably but... i refuse the hurt that's caused when he does all those things to get to me.
i will keep doing this time and again in the hope that he catches on.
My emotional need, is conversation and lots of communication so i feel you so i have decided to do something about it cos i love him.
Fail? I'll get back