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I guess then if I were you I would wait it out and do my best to make you WW lose the job she has worked for and then tell her to F off and move on and find a woman that will treat you right.
You are on the right path. You have no kids and you deserve better than this. Always remember that. Hey guy, I'm the vindication master of the BH's. How bad do you want to hurt her? I can help you drive her off a cliff emotionally if thats what you want. You will have a hard time living w/ yourself, but it can be done. If so, I need to know EVERYONE who looks up to her at all. Nieces, nephews, pastor, and you need nasty details of the A if you can get them from her. I will help you if you really want to ruin her life. DUDE
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But, all the circumstantial evidence points to an ongoing A, so there is no doubt in my mind it is still going on, hard evidence or not. In a court of law, the standard would be a "preponderence of evidence" not a "reasonable doubt". Besides the circumstantial evidence, what does your gut tell you and what are you gonna do about it?
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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I guess one of the main reason's I want real proof is because I live in a state where I would get a 60/40 split of assets (or debt in our case) if I can prove infidelity.
The emails from last fall are ok, but they stopped using their work emails mid december (d-day 2). I'm not sure how long the university keeps email records. Emails can be subpoena - trust me, they are ALL on the uni server.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Emails can be subpoena - trust me, they are ALL on the uni server. even emails as old as august 2008? even the deleted ones? may I ask how you know this? Do you work in IT, or have you had to subpoena emails before? If all the original emails are still available that is good news.
Me, BH - 26 WW - 27 d-day - 10/28/08 d-day 2 - 12/15/08
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Why dont you change the title of your thread to- Best way to get a "stylish" revenge and milk the situation for maximum compensation.
Perhaps then the people with the right information you are looking for can come along and help you.
FBW(me)- 45 FWH- 53 D-day 4/29/08 Moving forward pursuing happiness & a loving Marriage with DH.
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Personally my exposure would be a quick note to all wedding attendees from last year.
"Dear Uncle Joe and Aunt Jen;
Enclosed please find the blender you gave Whore and I for the wedding. Apparently she didn't take our wedding vow seriously as she has been having an affair with Joe Schmoe since before the wedding. I know you may find it as hard to believe as I did, but I have 30 pages of emails to prove it. I ask for your prayers as we navigate the end of this sham marriage."
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Personally my exposure would be a quick note to all wedding attendees from last year.
"Dear Uncle Joe and Aunt Jen;
Enclosed please find the blender you gave Whore and I for the wedding. Apparently she didn't take our wedding vow seriously as she has been having an affair with Joe Schmoe since before the wedding. I know you may find it as hard to believe as I did, but I have 30 pages of emails to prove it. I ask for your prayers as we navigate the end of this sham marriage." 
BW - me exWH - serial cheater 2 awesome kids Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot. --------Eleanor Roosevelt
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nothing will be done because you will not expsoe at work.
you can not let fear control you.
your afraid that your WW will get made at you.
Why are you afraid?
That WW will get mad enough to bang the OM. Oh silly me she's already done that and is probaly doing it now.
And, you believe that she is on call and can't be more then a half hour away. Oh please!
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Get off your @$$.
DO something.
If it were me I'd be hiring a lawyer and getting as much money as possible, and ruining her utterly once I was comfortable.
But I'm very vengeful.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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DRIVE THE KARMA BUS, DON"T WAIT FOR IT!!!
DUDE
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TC9,
Why not just file for divorce? I don't see how you can stay married, or why you should? You will not be proud of yourself later for taking vengeful actions. I think a simple note saying why you are D with no proof should be sufficient for most people. You don't have to prove yourself to everyone.
Best of luck
Gabe
Me 42 BS Wife 41 FWW (exwife now) Divorced 10/14/2008 S 21 D 18 D 16 S, S 13 (twins) Grandson 8 months
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