I want to WHAMP him up the side of the head, good thing he's not right here.<P>We had a wonderful night, then he left, he never came home, he just called and said he "lost the car" last night. Between bars.<P>I don't believe it for a second. <P>The car's "found" now, like an idiot I asked him where he spent the night and he said he didn't sleep, he is a liar I know it.<P>He said he has been home all morning "on the couch" w/a hangover. I left for work before he got home.<P>He said he didn't call me because he didn't want to "wake me up", what kind of idiot does he think I am?<P>I told him I want him to move out, how much does he think one peron can take, etc. But he just gets defensive and starts getting angry at me. The most he would give me is he can "understand" how I could be feeling this way. And he will call me later. Gee thanks.<P>This is so d*mn confusing because things really seem to be getting better, and then he pulls this.<P>My problem: What in the heck if anything do I say to him? <P>He knows I am not happy.<BR>He knows I think he was with the OW.<P>I feel so hopeless, there is nothing I can SAY that will convey to him the depth of his betrayl, my anger, how I am at the end of my rope.<P>If I give the silent treatment, nothing changes. If I nag and whine nothing changes. If I'm nice and pleasant nothing changes.<P>I just called him to scream at him "What kind of idiot to you think I am?" but I hung up after 1 ring, what good will it do anyway.<P>I know not to make decisions in the heat of emotions, but I am ready to go home and pack, or throw all his crap out on the yard. Or not go home at all, but it wouldn't have the same effect on him.<P>HELP!<P>

First thing to do is not blow your cool. I know exactly how you are feeling, but anger will only make it worse. If you feel like the conversation may get ugly, leave for a little while. The best thing to do is sort out your emotions first, and when you are ready, sit down and talk about it rationally. He may or may not tell you anything. If he was w/ OW, he could deny it. Anger is the one thing that you can't show him. However, you do not need to put up with his behavior. You need to tell him that he needs to behave like a husband should or he needs to leave. I know this is hard, but hang in there.

Hi jt. I think that there has to be some boundaries for your husband. Like a child, he needs to suffer the concequences of his actions. You absolutely do not have to tolerate his behavior. It is disrespectful, arrogant and selfish. If he gets beligerant when you tell him to get his **** and go, then you take control of this situation and you go - Treat him the way he is acting - like an out of control teenager with no respect for his home - change the locks if you have to. Get mad and get tough with this guy. Tuff Love!