Well, MS, you wished us all a happy mother's day yesterday.

But do you have an answer to Lost's questions?

AM

Good guy is right. MS can be talking about all the hard work she is doing, and at the same time be arranging interludes with the OM. That's what she was doing b4 she was caught again. She is a serial cheater first, last, and always. She won't polygraph because of the expense. But what is the worth of Spartans peace of mind. I think in a way, Spartan has just given up on trying to contain her, and is actually in fear of what would come out (how many men). He has a right to be.

Don't forget she claimed poverty then went out an bought new Blackberries.

Everyone can afford $500 to give their spouse peace of mind.

Big

Sparky,

The reason that some folks are offended that you started that Mother's Day thread is because it appears that you aren't taking your situation as seriously as you should be...And I'm sure some find it odd because motherhood hasn't been your strong suit in a while...It appears that your focus is popularity and friendship here, rather than marital recovery -- even if that is not your intent, it's how it comes across to many...I'm sure it stings quite a bit to hear this, and I'm sorry, but I wanted to point it out for your consideration..."Light" and "airy" is not something you can afford to be right now...Nose to the grindstone...reading, studying, asking questions...that is what is expected of you here right now...

Later, when your marriage is off of life support you will be given some leeway to have a bit of fun around here...right now, it's serious business...

I very much want to see you and Spartan become a success story, so please don't take this post as a knock, but rather a guide...

Mrs. W

Well said Mrs. W.

I agree ... well said Mrs. W.
MS, for your own sake, consider having that thread locked.

DITTO

Mrs. w
i agree also- now i said it on the RIGHT thread!

sf

MS - how about the NC letter and the polygraph? Any progress on that front now that you have wished everybody a happy Mother's Day?

ETA: That would be the best thing you could do for your children and start being the mother they need.

My NC letter was written on 4/21 and posted here.

The poly isn't a problem but the money is.

I've watched threads here go from completely supportive to absolute ruins depending on the day and the topic.

While I agree with the MB pricipals, I will no longer allow any of you to use me as a punching bag "just because you're in a bad mood" or because you can't stand me. I came here for help, and yes I did receive some. Thank you for those posts.

I am closing this thread and will seek help from Harley's books, our counselor and God.

I couldn't fathom being as jaded as some of these posts have been to me.

God bless all of you. I hope that in some way, you can find it within yourselves to soften some.

This thread is being requested closed per my request.

I'm sad to see you go! Is this cut and run again???

Before you go out of business on this thread...

Sparky, I would ask that you look to see if the changes in the tone of those posting to you doesn't usually have more to do with YOUR attitude and mood for the day than what is being said to you.

Since page 1 it has been suggested that you take the polygraph. Other things have been asked that have gone unanswered. When folks come back and ask again it is NOT to beat you senseless but to get you to examine yourself to find the answers.

Your recovery or lack thereof will have NOTHING to do with any of the people here or what they do or say. All that will count is what YOU do from this day forward.

You want to seek God for help? Only total complete unconditional surrender of your life to Him will do any good.

Want to recover your marriage with Spartan. Same thing applies. It's been all about you so far Sparky. It's been about what you feel, how you are thinking and what you want out of life. Put yourself last for a while and you might make some progress.

Good luck. You're really going to need it.

I for one will be here if you ever want to return for advice.

Mark

NC was written and posted. Was it sent to the POSOM?

Run away if you feel like that will solve your problems.

Ciao

God help your husband.

Repentence is easily seen by BS's and they will call you out when they don't see it. It is the same way with God......

Sparky,

I understand you wanting to step away from the boards. I'm glad you're going to continue working through the books, counselors, and God.

But listen for a moment... There are some very helpful, straight-forward, compassionate, smart, experienced, people here who can provide you with honest, unbiased, constructive criticism, and advice. I know because they've helped me and continue to help me on my thread. Perhaps some of these people might be willing to help you and/or Spartan offline.

Would you be open to having those who are willing to talk with you in a more private forum say they'd be open to that here? Then you could pick and choose from those offering and let the Mods know they can pass your email along to those whom you trust really do want to help? I can't be among them, but you could do mini-forums via email with three or four people, or with individual women. Spartan could do the same with a small group or men-only.

There are people here who really do care about you helping Spartan to heal and maybe even recover your M. You have to be honest about it -- if you want to try to save your M so nobody wastes their time any more. So knowing that lies, half-truths, and omissions will not be tolerated in any form, can you do this and commit to an open dialogue with a few who know how to and who want to help?

The vets can chime in if this may or may not be a good idea. I'm just trying to think of something to prevent you from giving up if you TRULY are repentant and you want to help Spartan and your family.

What do you say? If Spartan wants to try to recover your R and if you REALLY, HONESTLY, and HUMBLY want that too, do not walk away from those here who might be willing to help you.

My prayers for your family.

The BS-O-Meter.

MS is just going thru the highs and the lows of withdraws from her drug of choice - OM!

Takes about 2-3 months on average of NC for it to clear up a bit.

That's why I checked out for a while.... she will speak foggy crap until withdraws are over. I am sad to see her go, this was her best chance to clear the fog out of her head.... but instead has accepted the poor me's escape. It Screams WAYWARD... but hey, she is one.

If she was truly repentant, she would not be offended by what has been said. And her repentance would have been clearly seen in the tone of her posts. Unfortunately, that is not the case. So, the wise people on this board who have either been in her shoes or have stared into the eyes of someone who has, have strongly delivered what they had hoped would be a wake up call.

Why?

Because the understand the URGENCY that she is still clueless about. They understand how close she is to losing everything worth having.

If she is NC for real, then she is just now in withdrawal. I have expected her WD to be quite ugly, and I would be concerned if we weren't seeing symptoms of it right now.

The question is: What will she DO while in withdrawal?

Running from the boards is not a good sign.