Dh was on his computer this afternoon and I was standing behind him because we were looking at a restaurant website. He downloaded the delivery menu and when he did, the downloads box popped up and I could see brief descriptions of his last few downloads.

One of them said http:// NameofSite. com and I believe it said it was an mp2 file. I believe this is an audio file, but I'm not sure. I didn't call attention to it at the time because my son was also in the room, but the name of the site was explicit and gross. When my son left the room I was tempted to say something about it, but then I realized I need to sit on this information until I know more and can call him on it.

So on my computer, I entered the name of the site listed in the downloads and it automatically redirected me to the Adult Friend Finder website, a site that has very explicit photos even on the home page. So the name of the site I ended up on is different than the name of the url I entered (the one that was listed in his downloads).

I'm pretty sure I have the name of the download site correct. I say it very quickly and I'm positive dh didn't even realize I saw it because he was talking about the restaurant menu and the download info was only on the screen for a second. I remember the two words in the url and I'm pretty sure there was a dash between them. word-word.com. I also looked it up without the dash.

Now the weird thing is that there was a South Park episode he watched once where the theme was dealing with the same topic. I hate that show and think it is vulgar. But I remember him watching the show that dealt with this topic.

So I guess my question is, if I got the url of the site in his downloads a bit wrong, is it possible that a service picked up on the vulgar keywords and automatically redirected me to the AFF website and that might not necessarily be where he was?

On the completely disgusting AFF website, I found that it is owned by a company called Various, Inc. So I went to our online bank records and searched for that name in the last full near of records. No match.

As for history, dh had a physical long distance affair with his sister's best friend. It began in January 2007 and ended in May 2007. I frequented these boards A TON then and you all were incredibly helpful. As for our relationship, it was very rocky for quite awhile, as can be expected. WE made a lot of changes for the better and have been doing really well. We sometimes both slip back into our hectic worlds with work and the kids and stuff and have to remind each other how important it is to spend time together. But overall I have thought we were doing well.

So...does anyone know anything about the url redirect? Any suggestions on other things I can do to find out more information? We have separate computers, so it's not like I can search when its my turn to use the computer. I would have to wait until he is out of the house. Next week is his company's work from home week, so I'm not sure how often he will be out of the house in the next week or so.

I had thought about setting up a free account myself on that disgusting AFF website just to see if I could find my own husband. Is that sad or what? But I'm not sure if I should do that. I also made sure to delete my browsing history so none of my kids see that I looked at that site.

Any help would be appreciated!

Another thing I would want to know is if someone downloaded a video or audio file from the AFF website (I assume they offer that service), would it show up with this other url in the recent downloads section? I would think that it would show up with the AFF domain name.

Also, I can share the name of the site, maybe with some ** replacemtents if anyone thinks they would be able to find out more information on this.

Maybe a keylogger? Just a thought. If you have doubts..are you having some now?

If you have your husband's email password, you can go to AFF and request his password be sent to him. If he is not signed up, there won't be one. If you don't have your husband's email password, you can put a webwatching program on your computer and you can get screenshots of everything that he looks at. Say nothing for now. He will probably just deny it anyway. AFF comes up on porn sights. My husband used to go to RedTube all the time and Adult Friend Finder is on the side bar. It is gross. It has local hookers and skanks that want to get together for sex and chatting. You need to know how deep this is before you confront your husband. I use webwatcher.com. There are many keylogging/webwatching programs out there.

Spectrasoft has a great keylogger.

Even better yet if flexispy.com -- shows you all incoming and outgoing phone calls AND more importantly, shows you all TEXTS! Even the messages! Better versions than I have let you make the phone a remote listening device, or a GPS tracker. It's well worth the $250-350 USD.

That lead to evidence of DDay#3.

Why would someone sign up for an imdb.com account? Sorry for the bit of a thread-jack, but I'm wondering if that's a cover for something else, too.

IMDB isn't a cover as far as I know. Have you looked at IMDB? It's all about actors and actresses in the legit film world. Someone may have an account there if they wish to comment on films, or learn about films that are reviewed well and whatnot. That one I would think nothing of. AFF, completely different.

Thanks to everyone for all of the suggestions. The problem with the keystroke logger or anything similar, is that my husband's line of work is computer security. I'm positive he would notice something like that. He will only use top of the line products (and many of them) for all the computers in our family and he also has us all behind a very secure firewall.

As for doubts - no. I wasn't having any doubts at all before this. Everything has been going very well.

I did just a few days ago that this is around the time that the affair ended two years ago. And I guess I have been thinking about it a lot more since then - probably because its the beginning of the warm weather.

We just got back (a few weeks ago) from a trip to the US Virgin Islands and it was absolutely wonderful. It was very relaxing and we had a great time connecting. The kids were with us also but we also had a good amount of time alone while the kids were in activities.

I'm going to see if I can find out any more when he leaves the house sometime soon. I might take a look at his phone soon too, just to ease my fears. I haven't checked his text messages or dailed/received calls in quite awhile....OH BINGO!! I actually haven't checked his calls since he got an iphone about 4 months ago. I was thinking that I wouldn't be able to check his email account because I don't have his password, but I'm positive he has his phone set up to automatically log him into his mail! Brilliant!! I just need to check it when he is sleeping, which won't be easy.

As far as his behaviour goes, there is nothing suspicious there. I learned alot during the affair - he was giddy and excited and very concerned about his appearance, in a happy mood all the time, and was a terrible lair. Absolutely none of that right now or since the affair.

I don't know, maybe in the back of my mind I'm just feeling this way because of the timing - it being the "anniversary" of the end?

That sounds awesome! I'm going to check it out! Do you know if there is any way the phone owner can find out about it?

I have an account there because I like to write reviews of movies I have seen. I have never seen anything inappropriate there. One of the perks to having an account is that if you write a review of a movie and someone writes a review after you, you can set the notifications so it will email you. You also get their newsletter that tells you about new movie releases and new movie reviews. I really don't think it is a cover for anything. I'm not sure if that site lists porn movies. I have never checked, but if that is a concern of yours, maybe you should check it out.

Please don't make excuses for your gut feelings. Adult Friend Finder is not a sight that a FWS should ever be looking at. This is a "lets have sex" sight. Go to the website and request the password under his email account and have it sent to his email and check his phone for the password. If he has a password, he is signed up. There is no good reason for him to be on this website if he is not wayward. If he has an account, he has gotten better at handling your suspicions. You are not the only one that learned something with the first affair. Your husband learned a lot too. Please don't ignore this. Many of the weblogging programs are completely invisible and cannot be detected. You do have to be able to lower the firewall to install though.

Q: -- what if someone has shut down their profile on AFF -- is it possible to still get the password?

I realize that people on this site may not know the answer to this question!

I shut down the profile for my FWS. It will only give you a password if you have an open account.

UPDATE:

I snooped! He got a call this morning and had to go into the office. (He had the phone on speakerphone and I heard the whole conversation with his boss about all the technical issues they are dealing with).

As soon as he left the house I went upstairs and got on his computer. I was a little wrong in the name of the downloaded file. It didn't have a website name, just the name of the file that was downloaded. And it wasn't actually downloaded and saved to the computer, it was just viewed. The name of the file was as I thought.

I checked both of his email accounts (business and personal). Nothing suspicious in either account inbox. So I also checked deleted mail and trash mail. In the trash mail in his personal account, I found an email from a male friend who used to be a co-worker. It was called "Check this out" (subject) and in the body of the email it said something about how he has to see this video, but didn't say what the video was. The email had the video attached. So when dh clicked the attachment it downloaded it to his computer. Dh also responded to the friend and told him not to send him anything like that anymore.

Just to be safe, I also checked the browser cache on his computer to see what sites he has been to. I'm smart. He has Internet Explorer, Safari and Mozilla browsers installed on his computer (for work he sometimes needs to see how web pages display on each browser). So I checked the history/cache on all 3 browsers and there was nothing that lead to the adult friend finder, nothing that lead to the site mentioned above, and nothing that looked suspicious. And it is obvious that he hasn't cleared his cache/ history in awhile because there were lots of items there.

I'm pretty sure I covered all of the bases.

As for the AFF site, I think there is some sort of re-direct where if you enter specific sexual words, it will take you to that site as a default. Thats the only thing I can think of because that is what happened when I put in what I thought was a website name (instead it was a file name) on my computer.

Also - I did sign up for a free AFF account, using an old email account I don't use any more. Just in case others want to do so, it requires you to create a username and enter your email address and then verify your address with the email they send you. You also have to fill out a profile. It has to be like 30 words or so, so I just rambled a bit and didn't really give any information about the fake person I created. Once you do that, you can browse for people in your area. I browsed and found tons of men in my area. However, I also read an article on line about the site where people said it was fraud. The site adds pictures of people so it looks like there are a lot in your area so you will sign up for a paid account. With the free account you can't look at everyone's profiles - just a limited number. However, those that have pictures can be seen on the search results page. It was incredibly sad to see how many men on there had modified their photo so their face was not seen. They either took a shot that only showed their chest, or they had a head shot but put a blur over their face or a black line across their eyes so no one could identify them. Also - the site is not just to find people in your area. When you fill out profile information, you can say that you're only looking for people who want to chat online, send photos and videos and do cybersex stuff. So basically, if you have an account, you could use any username, say you are from any area, and only do online stuff and not in person stuff. I also checked out their payment options. They accept credit cards and it shows up as Various, Inc on the credit card or bank statement. They also accept personal checks mailed to their main office - user needs to include their username and which site they are subscribing to on the check (Various Inc also runs social networking sites that are non-sexual). I'm providing this information for anyone who might have suspicions and want to do some checking.

Overall I think everything might be ok. But I still plan to be on alert.

Good for you! I am glad that it turned out to be nothing. My husband had signed up during the affair but had no activity on the site when I snooped deeper. He had just looked. After being confronted with it, he agreed to block the site from our computer so he could't be accidentally directed to the site in the future. It does redirect you there sometimes too from other adult sites.

Also - in case this helps anyone else - when I was doing some research, I found out that the following companies process credit card transactions for adult theme websites. If you find one of these on your credit card or bank statement, it is worth investigating. HOwEVER - many of them also process transactions for online prescriptions services.

epoch.com
eupoch.com
paycom.net
manstermed.com
manstermed.net
jovital.com

From what I was reading, epoch.com process a lot of the adult site credit cards. They have a purchase/cancellation finder on their website, where you can enter some information and get results for purchases made to your account. Here is the link: https://epoch.com/billingsupport/ (please note: you need to enter two of the fields to get information - credit card number, email address, username for the site or member id for the site). It seems like you could enter your credit card number and wS's email address and get information on any purchases made through this credit card processing service. BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL! I would be very hesitant to enter my credit card into this field because you never know what they could do with it. I tried entering my dh's email address and a few of the usernames I think he might use, but I didn't get any results. They also have an online customer chat and a phone number to call, so you could call in and tell them that a charge was listed on your account and you want to know what it is for. If they can't find your number in their system, then that means they have not processed your credit card.

MP2 is an audio extension. MPG is video. MP2 is for low quality sound files. You might try to open windows media player and click on File to see the last few audio/video files that have been opened. If it were a mp2 file, I would not worry too much about it. Check all the audio players (windamp, itunes, media player, etc).

j4j -
Thanks for all of the detailed info.