> My T put me on meds for boarder line OCD. (like I do anything boarder line LOL). Shoot if it's been suggested I've tried it.


Talk to your T or doc.

Have you read up as to WHY you became this way?

Do you know that this cycle you are on (with the OCD) has been caused by the adultry, and your body has reacted in a perpetual "flight or fight" mode for so long that it cannot turn itself off anymore?

I am 6 years out from the first d-day, and 4 years out from the time I began my Auntie Ds. I cannot imagine how I would've been without them...prolly full blown nucking futz...4 weeks ago, I began the 8 week cycle of weaning myself off of the meds.

I haven't been as happy and content as I am now...ever.

I think you are right,,,It's frustrating,


Thanks F-26

FOW will always be somewhere buried in my brain amongst the other garbage.
I can't see myself ever forgiving her and I don't see the need to, I owe her nothing, she is not in my life. I may feel different in 20yrs, who knows.

There was a time when she consumed my thinking but as time dwindles on FOW gets more buried with the good things that are happening in my M.
FOW becomes compost and I have to keep her there, because I can't concentrate on her and my M at the same time, one has to win over the other.

And really, she doesn't deserve a thought in my head. But it's still hard sometimes, like now when I'm writing about the mole. Yuck.
I've also been lucky that FOW lives far away, has not hassled us and there is no OC involved which would make NC with her impossible.

>mole

What a GREAT analogy!

My 7th grade English teacher used to say someone was "a pimple on the posterier of progress..." - that would fit nicely, too!

Oh I like that one. POPOP

Ha! I had a priest in high school that used to say some people were "the poop stain on the underwear of life"!

Or "the BO in the armpit of life"!

He had a bunch...I'll try to remember them all...it was pretty funny, he was hilarious!

Yeah, she is half his age. He is at fault 100% She does not get off, but she probably had "father issues" that my WH is not able to come to terms with since he was so amazed such a wonderful person could "love" him. Hey, what was I? Fantastic, that's what! No, I can forgive her, but forgiving my WH is harder.

OP? If you ask me, WS (now XH) and OW are BOTH "OP"...how do I forgive either of them, because it's both of them who did it, not just one. I'm trying to get past it, let it have less significance in my life with each passing day, but nothing erases what they've done. They haven't made amends, that might have helped. I know I'm obligated to forgive so I haven't given up on the idea, I just wish someone would tell me exactly HOW to do so...someone who has been there and done that, not someone who has no clue what this is like. I've shown concern to both of them, is that forgiveness? They both get to live in my motorhome and drive my car, is that forgiveness? They both use the phone I'm still obligated to pay for, is that forgiveness? WTH is forgiveness anyway? HE made vows to me, that makes it even worse for him IMHO, but nevertheless, that doesn't let her off the hook either. I have NEVER taken someone away from someone else, not in my entire life, I don't see how a person justifies that. They went into hiding and stuck me with all the bills, which means that someday I will lose my home that I've worked for all my life, how do I forgive that? They have no conscience, how do I deal with that? At least I haven't (so far) had to deal with having someone attempt to murder me like Pariah...geez Pariah, I don't know how you deal with that. This is a sore subject...anyone really have any answers as to "how" we forgive? I mean, I pray, I try to take the upper road, I demonstrate kindness and caring, is that a first step in the process? When do you reach the point where you can say you've actually forgiven?