Yup! EVERYONE in work knows about their sordid little relationship.
All the staff in the place are all aware. No-one really cares much. Most people also know that she lived alongside him too. In fact, they seem to know more about it all than me as a lot of info comes back via her sister!

Why do you say one of them would not be there if it were exposed to the workplace?

BigBob --

Our stories are similar except I'm the woman version of you.

Multiple false recoveries...a "running" WH... MAJOR personality change including mood swings... together 31 years...A started in 07... signs of addiction to OW and willingness to sacrific everything to be with her... exposure to everyone under the sun....NONE of his family is supporting him....AND WH tried to run over his own mother in a parking lot last summer. (Yep, she stood in front of his truck with hand on the hood while he reved the motor and yelled at her. Thankfully, I talked her into moving so he could drive off and cool down.)

And today, through all the drama and fanfare and despite all I did, he's living openly with OW and her 3 kids and has filed for D.

FYI, his words, actions, personality, dress, habits, values, etc. have all changed since the start of the affair. He even LOOKS different, especially the expressions in his eyes. It's like a Dr. Jekell/Mr. Hyde thing.

My diagnosis of WH which may be what is up with your WW -- midlife crisis. Read some of the on-line articles and forums on it. My WH appears to be the poster child for a man suffering through a crisis. And his OW plays right into it by being the younger, wilder version that makes him feel young again.

Bottomline -- the midlife crisis will continue for him whether or not he stays married to me. His issues are with himself not with me. He has to get through this crisis but it may take years. And run as he might, he can't outrun the man in the mirror and the fact that he's getting older every day.

Hi HH, I think there is a lot of truth in what you say and I can indeed understand why you see similarities.

Midlife crisis most certainly. She has changed her appearance totally. Changed her diet, lifestyle, attitude - everything. One of the first signs of the crisis was when she started changing hairstyles and bleaching her lovely long brown wavy hair to straw coloured suicide blonde!

Also, OM is 10yrs younger and she says he makes her feel younger and more alive. When she started with him she started going to the gym every day and can now keep up with me on a cross country run (for a few miles anyway hehe). The ironic thing to that is that he suffers from diabetes quite badly, smokes, does no exercise and has an awful diet. Physically, he is less attractive than me, far less fit and certainly less active but I guess a younger face and a few sweet words is enough to get her there.

HH - I know both of these people will only realise what idiots they have been once it is too late to turn back the clock.

Well, I was talking about the OWNER of the company, because (1) it's impossible to be having a workplace affair without them wasting company time doing it and (2) if it's anything more than a tiny company (<50 people), they will have legal repercussions in place for any superior/inferior affair (as in a boss 'making' a subordinate participate).

So do the owner and HR know?

>OM is 10yrs younger and she says he makes her feel younger and more alive.

Yeah.

Till she breaks her hip.

10 years younger is an EON younger when he's barely out of his 20s and you're in your 40s...EON!

How puerile can you get?

Owner? Hmm it's a huge public company so not really that sort of setup. All the local management know though. Doesnt really affect the work levels in any way cos they only ever meet at lunch or outside of work. OM works from separate base and depts anyway so superior/inferior thing doesnt really apply either.

She didn't seem to be affected by the gossip either. In fact, the latest news on the firm is that they are actually a couple living together so no-one pays it a lot of mind now.

If it's a large public company, they almost definitely have rules about workplace affairs - the federal government pretty much demands it, as does the threat of lawsuits.

Look I get that it's pretty much over. I just hate to see people walk away when they could be doing something to stop something like this. It can't hurt to give the company's HR department a letter claiming that you are looking into the situation with your lawyer...that should be all it takes to at least start an investigation.

Another similarity -- OW is ten years younger.

What do we do about it, Bob?

Hi Bob! Saw your name and checked up on your story. I've got one thing to say to you. Cut your losses unless you enjoy living in this high drama. Your WW attempts suicide because you are seeing someone while she is boinking OM? HMMMM, a little cake eating going on there I'd say. She then thinks it's a better idea to run you over with her car as apposed to maybe having a conversation with you and OM? Maybe she's just a tad unstable ya think?

Unless you are enjoying this drama remove yourself from it. Allow her to drown in her drama. Really, you don't need this sh!! and you have the choice to not be a part of it anymore. I think I may have told you months ago she has to earn your trust. She's the guilty party here. She's done nothing to indicate she is willing to get healthy, so why don't you get healthy? You deserve better than this! Are you at the point that you value yourself more than putting up with her WW crappola?

Hey CV55 how you doing? Haven't heard for months.

Yes you did say that to me ages back and it all made as much sense then as it does now. I know what the truth is but like so many people on here, you think you know someone then they act just so out of character. Certainly I struggle to make sense of it at all.

I know she has to earn my trust but over and over she has broken it. Probably about 4 or 5 times now and with this latest episode I don't even trust my personal safety with her. I think she has lost the plot this time so what choice do I have other than to walk?

Since that night she has been so sweet its scary. Making dinner, running after me around the house. Its like the old W came back. Little hugs and kisses whenever the chance arises. Im playing along for now but I'm not gonna be suckered back in yet again. She keeps telling me that he's gone for good and it's just me and her. Just how many times have I heard that before she goes swanning off for a little afternoon entertainment!

Planning to quietly move out end of this week...

I find it hard to believe that you are living under the same roof as a woman who tried to run you over and kill you a few days ago.

Quietly slip away in the dark? Huh?

Why haven't you put her boney a$$ in jail for attempted murder?

Anyone want to take bets on whether they're still together Monday?

Yeh, OK I will cp...

Put your $1,000 on the table.

Easiest $1,000 I ever won.

Some people just ain't cut out as the betting kind are they? :crosseyedcrazy:

Glad to hear it, bob! Let us know...