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Yes, 13 is the absolute worst age for upsets to occur in her life. Are you looking into a professional facility? If you find the right one, it may save her life.

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go to bpkids.org and ask for a phone call from someone from the family response team. Another parent who has been there will call you back, and hopefully know of local resources/help for you and your dd. These people are wonderful.No one "gets it" like another parent who has walked in your shoes.


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Julie what about support groups for parents that are going through the same thing?


I've thought of this, located one once, then everything blew up, the focus was back on DD, we were "recovering" as a family and...I never went.

Catperson, she's BEEN to a psych hospital - she spent 2 wks there! That's when things got "better".

I'm not hopeless, certainly not helpless. I've got a lot of resources available to me. I can't worry about the money because we NEED it. I shouldn't dismiss it with "no time" because we HAVE to find the time. My follow-thru is and has been something that I've caused myself great strain with.

Thanks for posting. Time to do something. I am glued to my kids most of the time outside of school/work and that is not healthy. I have no social life, no hobbies - not healthy. DS goes w/STBXH every-other weekend, DD really doesn't get out much at all. I need to get away from them! I don't have a lot of options there as we're surrounded by crazies but enough with the excuses - ALL of our sanity (and at times physical safety!) is on the line here. Time to act.

So please excuse my one "woe is me" post, keep suggestions coming if you've got them, THANK YOU for the support, and know that I will get thru this. I NEVER imagined it would be so hard. We will be OK.


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Julie, right now, I'm out of words.

Good professional care is all I can think of to recommend. I know that it was a godsend that my daughter already had a counselor with whom she had a long-rooted relationship.

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Originally Posted by Chrysalis
go to bpkids.org and ask for a phone call from someone from the family response team. Another parent who has been there will call you back, and hopefully know of local resources/help for you and your dd. These people are wonderful.No one "gets it" like another parent who has walked in your shoes.

OH thank you, Chrysalis! I'm going to call when I get home, I promise. Wait...she's not bi-polar! Eh, no matter, if it's help I'll take it.


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Julie, one other thought I had is that it may be time for DD to go to a residential school. Many families have had to do this. The local schools have to pay for it if it is necessary to meet DD's educational needs. The family response team contact may be able to talk to you about this, too.

I know a number of families who say that putting their child in a residential treatment setting for a period of time made all the difference in the world to that child and the entire family.

Her medical condition is not your fault. It stinks that you have to deal with it on top of everything else, but you can do this.


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Speaking of God-send, I never have reason to question:

1. A girl here @work came over & asked me if I wanted to walk. We walked a mile. I REALLY needed that!
2. While I was out DD's IC called, she had a cancellation & wondered if we wanted to come in tonight.

Whew!


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The help is available for any family struggling with a child or teen with serious mood instability or depression. Diagnostic labels can change a lot over time. It isn't about the label, it is about getting help with a situation that is over your head.


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Oh, and you ask for the call on-line.


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Originally Posted by Chrysalis
Julie, one other thought I had is that it may be time for DD to go to a residential school. Many families have had to do this. The local schools have to pay for it if it is necessary to meet DD's educational needs. The family response team contact may be able to talk to you about this, too.

I know a number of families who say that putting their child in a residential treatment setting for a period of time made all the difference in the world to that child and the entire family.

Her medical condition is not your fault. It stinks that you have to deal with it on top of everything else, but you can do this.

Thanks so much. "Residential school"...read: boarding school? Psych ward? Can you elaborate?

I've wondered about switching schools (again) too. Last year, her first in middle school, she was ACCEPTED to an ARTS school - great school from the outside. But once there, it was no arts & all fights. She quickly learned what it was like to be hated & have to constantly defend herself. We pulled her mid-semester & sent her to the 'run-o-the-mill/plain-jane' neighborhood school that we insisted she was "too good for" previously. Immediate change in attitude, confidence, grades. But, I suppose the residual was still left-over.

I know it's not my fault but I have to tell you I just feel like I keep failing her!

I'd like to learn more about this residential school idea. Can you share more please?


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A residential treatment center is a boarding school with tons of structure and therapeutic support (eg psych treatment and monitoring.) There are all different kinds. We have not had to do that but I know a lot of families who have. Lots of times after a hospitalization this is a helpful step.

Kids can stay there anywhere from a few months to a couple of years. I know several families here in southern California who have kids who are or have been in a school in Colorado that they loved. Others have gone to Utah. I know families in the Midwest who have had kids in schools in Texas.

Depending on where you are there may also be some good outpatient schools.

You do have to be careful in choosing a school and not just take whatever is shoved at you by the school district.

These schools go year-round and there are weekend visits allowed from time to time-- both the family going there and the child coming home on a pass if they are stable enough.

You may need to hire an education attorney and/or an educational consultant to get this done.


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Originally Posted by Chrysalis
Julie, one other thought I had is that it may be time for DD to go to a residential school. Many families have had to do this. The local schools have to pay for it if it is necessary to meet DD's educational needs. The family response team contact may be able to talk to you about this, too.

I know a number of families who say that putting their child in a residential treatment setting for a period of time made all the difference in the world to that child and the entire family.

Her medical condition is not your fault. It stinks that you have to deal with it on top of everything else, but you can do this.
This would be my recommendation, too. Two weeks in a mental hospital does nothing but teach them how to avoid getting caught. Two weeks is not enough time to deal with her issues. Please consider it. She will thank you...some day.

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Two weeks in a mental hospital does nothing but teach them how to avoid getting caught.


BAH! Amen sister! I've felt/wondered the same but in trying to recover/be positive, have mentioned no such thing. What's worse, is "she was so mature" that instead of putting her in the group she was supposed to be in (8-13y/o, I believe) they put her in w/the older kids - 14-18! DD has spoken of her feeling sure (not afraid!) that she'll end up back there. UGH

I will talk to IC tonight about these ideas. This isn't working.


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If you do go to something like that, remember to keep telling her that this IS a positive thing. She'll hate you, now, but will be grateful if they can get through to her. But make sure it never comes out as something like punishment, rather help.

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I think you can get 3 out of 4. Normal is going to be difficult because that is subjective. But you can find Sane, stable and healthy.

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My daughter's 8 days in an adolescent psychiatric hospital were a godsend. But, she was in an age-appropriate group and she did break down and dredge up the real root issues.

Because she did, our family is better off.

A good psychiatrist and a good counselor were part of the cure, too.

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