Would love to stay for the MB fest, but we're going out, got to get in the shower.

That never occurred to me and it took your comment completely different. But I see what you are saying.

Have fun on your night out.

Not to be confused with the liver which simply accumulates the poisons and stuff that is toxic...

Mark

Thanks for grasping on my behalf. I think his solution is to not trust me. I can't say I blame him.

That scene that's locked in my brain happened back in November. He's shed a few tears since, but not as often and nothing like that Sunday morning. Not that I've witnessed anyway.

Thanks, Lil. I love your .

I think I'm going to tell H that I'm going to do another session using my sister's gift money, and I'll invite him to join me. I'm doubting he'll say yes, but it's doesn't hurt to ask.

That was a short fest ???

What I consider boundaries, H has often construed as me being difficult, stubborn, or selfish.

But I can't control if he chooses to do this.

Done and continue to do.

I don't blame myself for everything. But I haven't been telling him this.

I know.

Because I don't want to make waves. I want to be the happy L4 that H wants to be with and love again.

On StayTogether's thread this very thing is being discussed... When I tell H how I feel about something, if it differs from how he feels about it, my feelings are wrong. He used to get angry, belittle me, or dismiss me. For so long I felt like my feelings were invalid so I'm gun shy based on past experience.

I know what you're saying is true, Jim. And I know I have to do this. But it's hard to take this position when I'm trying to do anything to not rock the boat. It's trying to discover that balance... Standing up for myself with a man who has put me down in the past when I've done so -- and not upsetting him.

I've been keeping my mouth shut for the sake of my H's healing, feeling that it's not fair to put my burdens and concerns on his shoulders.

Agreed. How do I do this? How do I stand up and respect myself when I get the strong impression that H doesn't want me to. I don't know this.

Will do.

I agree. I've been encouraging H to do something about his job, about changing his lott for 7 years now. This could be a good thing.

Dang, that'd be nice.

I have been. I wasn't last year when I was having my affair and certainly not last summer when I was in withdrawal and questioning my M. Otherwise I have always supported my H and whatever he has wanted to do for himself and our family financially. Again, I can live on generic soup if need be and especially if it means we're happy.

Thanks, Jim

Ahhhh... You know not of what you speak, my friend.

Those Mr. Flint posts take time.

no crap, I just finished reading ....
are you up for a bit yet?

Thank you, LG. I'll try this approach.

Yep. It's very late for you, isn't it?

I really like this approach by LG

It's 3:24 in the am.
We got back about 1:30, went out to dinner with some friends, then back to their place for drinks, they live around the corner.

Celebrated a 'bull' night tonight!

We all got looking through some archives, he loves to keep old photos etc.

I was reading this letter dated 1884, from a cousin of the person who lived in this guy's house at the time.
It was fascinating! Anyway this cousin was from Chicago, I was thinking about Mark as I was reading since he mentions that he is from there.
The letter speaks of a railroad coming in the next year going from Chicago to Fox River and then in the next year to Root River. I hope I have the names of these rivers right, I've been drinking remember.
It also mentions that the population of Chicago is 16,000.
There was more in the letter but it would take me to long to type it, but it was so cool to read.

go to bed you lot!!!!

Who you calling lot???

Hey ST, we ate at a Scottish pub tonight.
I know you aren't Scottish, but have you ever had mushy peas?
Funny, I was thinking about you funny talkers tonight too.
The mushy peas reminded me of by new babies diaper changes
but they were good

mushy peas eh? I like mushy pea fritter but not mushy peas by themself.

J comes form Midlnads/north England -his mum and dad have mushy peas lots. Don't get so much down here in the south

Sounds like you had a great night V!

He has said as much, yes.

I don't think so. We had some really great years.

He wouldn't have married me. At least I didn't think so at the time which is why I selfishly never told him. And he's told me that he wouldn't have had he known. Someone here once said that we don't KNOW what would have happened, but I lean toward him having dumped me.

I do. I supposedly learned my lesson after degrading myself and disrespecting H nearly 17 years ago. I lived a life of honesty and tired to make up for my lies that H didn't know about by not standing up for myself with him and no boundaries -- in essence letting myself become a doormat.

I can't even imagine.

You, me, and most everyone else here agrees.

Thanks, Zelmo.