|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617 |
"Funny......now that you've called me a sweet woman I can't be mean to you....and you know that is my nature. Even when someone hurts me I find it extremely difficult to hurt them." And please dont let your WH change that. Its a good way to be. That is why you need to protect yourself from his hurtful fogbabble. 
Last edited by stillhere8126; 05/15/09 06:33 PM.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 1,018
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 1,018 |
Thanks Frank but tst said it would be a waste of time and I think I agree with that right now. He's still too foggy. Right... I said to ask Steve Harley though because that is a little breakthrough isn't it? Him mentioning MC... Although if he is with a NEW OW I fear his demons may be deeper than MC... BUT.. Harley is the expert.. he would know better than us...
It’s not the absence of trials that determines our happiness
Its the absence or presence of God
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716 |
Thanks Frank but tst said it would be a waste of time and I think I agree with that right now. He's still too foggy. Right... I said to ask Steve Harley though because that is a little breakthrough isn't it? Him mentioning MC... Although if he is with a NEW OW I fear his demons may be deeper than MC... BUT.. Harley is the expert.. he would know better than us... Sometimes I sense a slight breakthrough but then I'm just not sure of anything...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716 |
"Funny......now that you've called me a sweet woman I can't be mean to you....and you know that is my nature. Even when someone hurts me I find it extremely difficult to hurt them." And please dont let your WH change that. Its a good way to be. That is why you need to protect yourself from his hurtful fogbabble. Thanks... {{{{Still}}}}.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,235 |
verysad, you are not hurting me by telling me to stay off your thread. Just as you are not hurting your husband by doing a dark hard Plan B. I know you love the good in people. Like me and your husband..I do too. Then it is hard to set boundaries.
But the fact my husband never had an affair and I am not giving you the right advice means you can ask me to stay off your thread. and I can respect that. Maybe it is not appropriate for me to be there even though you like me better now.
I guess you could say, " I like you but please stay off my thread"
And with your husband: "I love you but please stay out of my life in every way unless you quit talking to other women".
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716 |
And with your husband: "I love you but please stay out of my life in every way unless you quit talking to other women". Thanks Bubbles, that is actually good advice. You don't have to stay off. Just a little more gentle maybe?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,235 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245 |
VST, what about today? Have you resolved to not come in contact with WH AT ALL today? Make it a day-by-day resolve, and it will get easier. Don't look at it as an all-or-nothing deal, just for today. And then tomorrow. And on.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716 |
Thanks Cat, I don't have plans to have contact with him today. He is picking up DD for the weekend. I won't see him.
This new hurt (new OW) is very hard on me. I'm very depressed...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245 |
What can you do for exercise today? Bike ride? Hike? Tennis?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716 |
I don't know if I can muster up the energy to be honest....it's raining so I can just do my usual DVD workout.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716 |
Need help now!! WH just sent me this email and I need a VERY GOOD RESPONSE!!
"You know I really hate that you are hurt and I hate the fact that my family is falling apart... It seems like its just too big a problem to fix... There has been so much damage... How could I ever fix it?"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
"You know I really hate that you are hurt and I hate the fact that my family is falling apart... It seems like its just too big a problem to fix... There has been so much damage... How could I ever fix it?" Reply: "Let me know when you are willing to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to make this marriage work."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Plan B, right?
What did your PB letter say?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 716 |
Plan B, right?
What did your PB letter say? As far as conditions? NC with co-worker OW, sell the boat, agree to MC of my choice. But now I'm pretty sure there is another OW that hangs at the dock.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Plan B, right?
What did your PB letter say? As far as conditions? NC with co-worker OW, sell the boat, agree to MC of my choice. But now I'm pretty sure there is another OW that hangs at the dock. OK. Stick to the one sentence response. Do not sign it with any closing remark. Not even your name. He's close to bottom ... keep him falling.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
"You know I really hate that you are hurt This is not an apology, far from it. He hates that he got caught. Wayward Babble! and I hate the fact that my family is falling apart... He is saying it's a fact that my family has fallen apart, yet accepting no responsibility for his affair being the cause. Again, Wayward Babble! It seems like its just too big a problem to fix... There has been so much damage... How could I ever fix it?" This is WH saying, I'm not interested in meeting YOUR requirements, YOU'RE just asking toooo much of me to leave my job and stop contact with the OW #1....... Also another way of saying, "You are just making to big of a deal out of this stuff". Again, Way, Wayward Babble!
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Sounds to me like he's between 5 & 6.
He is falling.
He is about to find out how much bravery/courage/valor he's capable of.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
448
guests, and
1,111
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,627
Posts2,323,545
Members72,122
| |
Most Online8,273
Aug 17th, 2025
|
|
|
|
