Soooo..after a short discussion, I have been informed that if I want to see my wife in something other than a bathrobe at night, I should surprise her with something I'd like to see her in.

So I'm off to purchase lingerie in the next couple of weeks. Where do I shop? Victorias, Macys, online?

Victorias is great, just be aware that you'll also be getting catalogs if you provide your address via credit card.

If this is something new for her, stick to things with a little more coverage--a silky camisole with tap pants, for instance. Go for something that feels good over something that might be more visually appealing to you, but uncomfortable for her.

I have a great PJ set from Victoria's--pants with a tank and a jacket--and even though it's something I could answer the door in, it makes me feel sexy because the fabric is so rich and soft. Wife who feels sexy=wife who wants sex.

Happy shopping!

I am not a 25 year old size 4 so I wouldn't buy really skimpy or really sheer. So, you need to keep things like that in mind. I would probably go to Macy's or Dillard's or someplace like that because I tend to prefer their things over VS's. If she's not used to sexy lingerie, it might not be a good idea to buy anything too overtly sexy. I'd start with pretty and nice fabric.

Oooooooooooooooh this hits a sore point with me. Hubby and I, years ago, started down this same path. It quickly backfired. His need for sexy and racy lingerie got more and more intense, and my negative connotation with it got more and more severe. BEWARE OF WHERE THIS MAY LEAD!!!!

I ended up DREADING every time I would walk into the bedroom because inevitably there was some "get-up" laid out on the bed that he wanted me to put on for him. Grrrr. I ended up really resenting it.

After our July blowout when we separated for a month, I demanded that he go and see a counselor. One of the counselor's rules is that he is NOT EVER allowed to lay out lingerie for me. EVER. That we are to switch, back and forth, when we do have sex, if it's a night I wear something for him or a night when I don't. Or rather, that it's a night that I wear something FOR him, and I night that I wear something (or not) FOR me. He was to make all the lingerie available to me (the silky, the lacy, the skimpy, the luxurious, the skanky) and I was to choose what I wanted to wear to please us both. And I'll be honest, since there's less pressure, I feel like getting dressed up more often! When I don't feel like HE'S the one calling all the shots, I can instead be in control of how I will look that night, and what kind of sex we will have, and I dress accordingly, and the sex is great. Let me repeat that. The sex is great! For the first time in my ENTIRE marriage, I am craving sex. It's a miracle. For both of us.

So my suggestion is to go ahead and go to Victoria's Secret. There's something about the name brand that will top anything you'll find at Macy's. The quality isn't necessarily better, but it's the brand recognition and sexiness of the VS line that has some extra appeal. Go a little crazy. Buy some sensual stuff, buy some sexy stuff, buy something just a little outside of the comfort zone.... buy some thigh highs and a garter belt! They are SO sexy! And bring it all home, and put it all in the closet - and tell her to go have fun and to surprise you!

And you know what - she just might surprise you.... You never know just how into it she might get when she's feeling confident, sexy, in the mood, and desirable.

Good luck!