I'm guessing the subpoena got served. Got a text from D!ck saying "keep spending money on attorney. Drag it out. I really don't care."

Now, if SchoolBus were to analyze this, she'd say to pay particular attention to the third sentence. "I really don't care."

Me thinks he cares plenty. He doesn't want his financial skeletons coming out of the closet at all. You'd think that he'd offer a settlement -- ANY settlement -- instead of sitting idle and making me push the process.

He started this. He's getting what he wants. He just wished it didn't come with such a huge price tag. But he bought this new life of his. A little too late for buyer's remorse now.

Well Halloween is coming and he can wear a skeleton costume along with a business suit. All the skeletons will come out of the closet and it might as well start then. Maybe OW could wear a .itch oops witch costume .

well spotted. Kind of just shouts out what's up, doesnt it?

Well I guess I'm headed for court on Thursday. Since no meetings have been scheduled and nothings been decided (except D!ck is really, truly a d!ck), another postponement will likely happen.

Lastest is that he finally agreed to meet the DDs for lunch on Saturday. After 4 months of not seeing each other, you'd think he would have learned WHAT NOT TO SAY. Like they are not interested in Bimbo and have no desire to meet her. Like their mom (me) is not pranking calling Bimbo twice a day and leaving harassing messages. Like they do not want to hear that if they or anyone else can't deal with his choices, that he doesn't give a sheet.

It wasn't even an hour lunch and instead of D!ck focusing on what the heck his DDs have been doing for that time, he chose to make it "all about him" -- his music choices, his wanting back his bike and some crap in the attic, him wanting them to meet Bimbo (fyi-- one DD said "never" and the other said "in a decade or two"), etc.

According to older DD, he got annoyed with them for not acting like everything was OK. He asked her "is this the way it's gonna be from now on" she reminded him that it's a two way street and he needs to make some effort. She even suggested the three of them see a therapist to work on their relationship. (She actually said that mom (me) had suggested this). He asked what she thought of it and DD said it wasn't a bad idea.

So... recap... [censored] is still trying to push his agenda. He's not sensitive that the girls are having a hard time coping. He's incapable of taking their feelings into account by the choice of topics. After waiting 4 months for a face-to-face, he couldn't be a dad for a short 60 minutes. Sooooo sad.

I'm proud of the girls for trying to get together with him. DD said she doesn't want to be bitter because "bitter people die young." I said I'm hurt that he can't see how his choices have affected you. She said that she can separate him from his choices because she had a great dad for 15 years (she's now 17) and THAT dad and the adults in her life now will be who influence her -- not the dad she has now.

And D!ck accusing me of harassing Bimbo -- I couldn't stand it -- I let him have it via voice mail. Said I'll discuss action with my attorney. Haul both their asses into court for slander and file a civil suit. I swore I have nothing to do with the calls even suggesting that Bimbo be making it all up to make me look bad. And reminded him -- I'M NOT A LIAR.

Whew... what a weekend. Tears for the first time in a long, long time.

I'm amazed how former great dads can turn into such selfish people! Sounds like your D17 has a great perspective... good for her. She's more mature than her dad.

After 6 months of community service and 4 months in jail (drunk driving) my WH had his first weekend in nearly a year free. I thought he'd want to spend it with the kids... maybe even go to church but no, instead he went out of town with OW. His loss!

Keep taking the high road... your kids know the difference.

D!ck is a dork...

Attorney's office said it's not worth it to complain about him saying falsehoods about me to the girls. Even if the court puts it in writing for him to stop, the order won't -- really can't --be enforced. Oh, well. It felt good to scream at him through the phone.

So I'm back to firing back financially. I've been digging and digging and D!ck will not be too pleased at what I found. Actually, I didn't really have to dig... he made that easy by putting virtually everything on the credit card. What an amature and what arrogance!!

I read an article this weekend about the cost of keeping a mistress. The estimate was about $40,000 a year. The article said if you're "prepared" and preplan it, you can stash away cash to finance it and noone is the wiser. But if you're winging it and foolishly going along for the ride and end up using credit cards and ATM withdraws, then a paper trail will follow. And the latter senerio is just what you want if you're a BS trying to prove that marital funds were used in a "mon-marital" way.

Good thing D!ck was lazy, arrogant, and didn't preplan. It's now time for him to pay.

Holy,

Your Wh is definitely about as arrogant as they come.
But will he ever be surprised when you present all of the evidence regarding misuse of marital funds. He thinks he is smarter than you and that you will never figure it out. And he says YOU are going down?

Yep, arrogance brings them down everytime.

Update?

Did you have court yesterday?

I survived court yesterday, if you can even call it "court." I sat in the hallway for 3 1/2 hours only to be told that we won't be going before the judge, that D!ck hasn't got his financial documents ready yet and needs another week, and we need to set up a meeting to discuss.

And -- I looked fabulous. The lady next to me told me I looked HOT in my slinky dress (thanks SPANKS).

Did get some time with my attorney to discuss blantant financial miscues. I swear, I'm now starting to believe what a "good ole boy" network these attorneys are in. They seem to not want to rock the boat about certain issues or blindside their peer in fear that the same thing might happen to them. All in all, I can see their point since this is their profession and clients come and go -- but come on....

Oh... and D!ck's tactics have stepped up a bit. He sent me two taunting text messages a half hour before court time. He KNEW I'd read them before I got there and he purposely tried to unnerve me. One mentioned seeing me at our DDs game that night and adding that "he and OW want to see our girls."

All talk -- no action -- since I was at game with ILs (both sets) and D!ck missed an exciting game where DD was the star. Her name was mentioned in the newspaper today, and the championship game is tomorrow. And if he DARES show up with Bimbo, all bets are off as for no LBs or being silent.

Better yet -- I'll let MIL take care of the encounter. She's dying to meet Bimbo and exchange a few -- er -- pleasantries.

Nice to meet you Bimbo.....

HH,

That is so frustrating. I went through about 4 hallway dates before we finally got in front of the judge.

I am still so amazed everytime I read of cases where waywards want to insert the OP right into the family mix and have them accepted by all. There is just not one ounce of shame or sensitivity to the BS. Unbelievable.

I hope your MIL gives her a few choice words to think about. That will really put a strain on the A. Bimbo will never feel accepted and that will cause a few fights I imagine....

Hang in girlfriend.

I joked with MIL and FIL about extending an olive branch to include them in our Thanksgiving celebration. Of course, we all kidded about the dynamics of Bimbo and her three kids sitting around the dinner table with ILs, me and our kids, and the extended family. And I teased MIL about what Christmas gifts she'll be buying her future DIL and step-grandkids.

We have to see SOME humor in the situation of we'd all go a little daffy.

HH, hugs. Don't let the passive aggressive tactics wear you down.

For them it is about MONEY; or lack of. They drained all of their resources and now they are entitled to live out their lives and have the BS help them in their fantasy.

My XH is blaming the debt in the MARRIAGE for his financial problems now. I never encouraged him to spend 35K on PP and all the vacations they took.

It is not YOUR fault and you did not cause this.

You are one smart chickie and I would not want to mess with you and your forensic accountant skills that you have acquired.

Maybe we should open up a PI agency after all of this. It should be called "Kick your Wayward's Butt in Court". Very poetic...

I'M FUMING. Picked up mail after attending DDs out of town championship game (lost but GREAT season). Support check arrived written for half required amount. WTF??? Included was itemized list of things D!ck decided to deduct from the court ordered amount. Is this legal???

FIl stepped in and tried calling D!ck. Since payment isn't due until tomorrow, FIL left two options via voicemail: either deliver check tomorrow or FIL will plant himself in D!ck's office Monday morning to pick it up.

Yeah, yeah... I know. Leave it to the attorney's to hash out. But how long will that take? D!ck can do this the EASY way and pay up without attorneys or the HARD way which may equate to D!ck being slammed with a contempt charge. OK -- I don't know if this even warrants a "contempt charge" -- but, come on.... He was ordered to pay me a specific dollar amount on the 15th of the month and HE shouldn't be able to pick and choose what he wants to deduct from it.

And the deductions.... what an a$$. The kids portion of his cell phone bill. Interest on money I took off a line of credit in January (he's calculated the daily interest amount and multiplied that by the number of days) and others. AND -- he said he's going to deduct from my support the cost of the kids health insurance that he paid for the entire year of 2009.

OHHHHH..... I'M FUMING. I'M SOOOOOOOOO PO'd. I got the winner for THE WORSE WH EVER.

He seems to forget that every road block he puts up DELAYS the D. And he's the one who wants the D. And once the D is done, he can live happily ever after with Bimbo and they can be on VACATION from me FOREVER.

Maybe I need to change my title to... Plan D - A Vacation for WS?

Nah, after this gets finished, you'll be wanting it called, Plan D - A vacation from the WS

You are right, Lil. Unfortunately, I can't just snap my fingers and the D be done and a life-long vacation begin. I swear it's a battle every day. I wish I could be in a real B and just mosey along and not worry about anything. But considering the situation I'm in, a "don't worry, be happy" attitude would be a financial death sentence to me and my kids.

So I keep plugging away everyday. And since my real job ended this past week, I'll have plenty of more time to devout to my case.

I think it's great that you have supportive inlaws!

HH, Luna posted this on her thread for you. But I wasn't sure if you would see it and I really like it...

Nice to hear from you, Queenie.

An attitude of gratitude themed post. I am thankful for much. Luna is right. I just have to take it one day at a time. I often say to others who ask how I'm doing -- "I have a roof over my head, food in the frig, my kids with me, and I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING." I guess it comes down to that... If you can say every day that you are doing the right thing, then what else is there? And if I'm doing the right thing, then -- really -- I'm doing the GOD thing.