It will be two years next week some time since I found the text messages that changed my life. I don't really remember the date but it was Memorial Day and I guess I could look it up if I cared. I can't see any sense in torturing myself with it. We will be doing the same things and going the same place that we went that year and last year and the 15 years before my world was turned upside down. Why? Because we love it and it is who we are and I couldn't let the OW and this horrible mistake by my imperfect man take that away from us.

I have seldom allowed myself to indulge in triggers. I find them counter productive to the choice I made to forgive and renew my M. Funny, the biggest most hurtful trigger I have is when Melody Lane posts a heart wrenching e-mail that I wrote to Dr Harley about six months into our R. I never thought about it being published. I was too private to post my story so I read everything and used advice given to others to help my situation. Ironic, huh?

Are we recovered? That's the million dollar question. Sometimes life and our M are idylic sometimes I wish that I had just left when I found out. Come to think of it our M was pretty much like that before the A. We have learned and grown and we seldom take each other for granted.

He is a good man and I love him with all my heart. I am most disatisfied when I allow myself to read on these forums too much yet I am grateful for the help and support and advice that I got second hand. A few things are for certain, I will never, ever be the same person that I was this time two years ago, my DH will likely never be able to forgive himself and our M will continue to struggle and be much more difficult to maintain than it was before adultery but I refuse to let my life and my M be defined by it.

That is our MB success story, at least most days I think it is a success.

God's Blessings,

Say