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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 40
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 40 |
just found out yesterday about my husbands 2nd affair in 3 years. Last time we did everything to recover. MC with Steve...No Contact... Everything. I thought we were doing fine. We have a 1 year old and I'm 11 weeks pregnant and just found out about a second affair with different OW. He's saying all the right things like he'll do anything... He went to an IC today. He bought a book on sex addiction, We have another appt with Steve on Monday. He says he'll fix this and I'll see that he can change. He also said that the first time. I just don't know how to do all this a second time around.... NUMB, Sad and mostly disappointed. Anyone out there recovered from multiple affairs??? When is it not recoverable. I can't do this again but I also can't stand the thought of not tucking my kids in to bed every night. I'm more than heartbroken over his actions a second time especially with a beautiful new baby and one on the way.
Last edited by DaisyEln; 10/22/09 01:23 PM.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
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Joined: Nov 2007
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((((((((DaisyEln))))))))))
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
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OMG, I am so sorry DE. That is horrible. I dont have any experience with your sitch, but my prayers are with you...
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. 
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
Is he still at home? Did you ask him to leave?
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Joined: Jun 2007
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{{{{{{{{{{DAISY}}}}}}}}
I'm so sorry and hope that you know you aren't alone....
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
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Joined: Nov 2007
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DaisyEln,
Looking over you old threads tells me this is his 4th A in 10 yrs of marriage.
Your H is an active serial adulterer!
I would at MINIMUM recomment you ask him to leave the home and file for a legal seperation.
In reality, I'm really sorry, but I would recommend Plan B along with Plan D.
You deserve more than a life of abuse!
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 40
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 40 |
What can an "active serial adulterer" do to change? He's at a Sex Addicts Addiction Recovery Group tonight. Has anyone had an serial cheater change their ways??
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 60
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What can an "active serial adulterer" do to change? He's at a Sex Addicts Addiction Recovery Group tonight. Has anyone had an serial cheater change their ways?? I'm in a similar boat. This past summer I discovered our going on 15 year marriage was one sided. Mine has told me that he's been having affairs with multiple women, plus prostitutes - all admittedly unprotected. Get checked for stds; thank God so far I'm hiv free. To answer your question, I don't think they can change. Protect yourself, protect those babies - mine are teens, this has threw them for a loop. I need to work on personal recovery of myself and let this (marriage) run it's course, more than likely will come to an end soon. I don't want to be always looking for and being on edge. I feel for you! (((DaisyEln)))
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 40
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 40 |
tst-
WH still at home. He moved into the guest bedroom. I filled out paperwork for legal separation but did not file it with the courts yet. WH on the phone as I post with SH. SH did not recommend that I ask WH to leave the house. He said it was just a impulsive move on my part and not a logical way. He said that there's a better way to make WH come to his senses and get the help he needs. I'm still not sure I don't want him to leave. I'm on the fence about everything right now.
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