What the Harleys mean is that if you go without getting your emotional needs met for a very long time, and then someone comes along and starts meeting them, that person will start looking better and better to you.
You may be fortunate that you get your ENs met by people (friends and family) so there wasn't an "opening" for another person to step in and fill them. Or maybe you're just lucky no one did.
I'm not a wayward, but I make sure I don't let lots of men meet my ENs because I know that would open me up to a possible A.
But yeah, I don't agree we should just "start from there and move forward." But I'm not in recovery, either, so maybe they're onto something that I'm not. smile


Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS
Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"