There are so many rational and non rational expectations about married life, quite frankly freeks some newlyweds out.

It is quite normal after a serious lifestyle change, for a person to feel disenchanted. I remember thinking "Is this IT?!?" for awhile, but that was my own reasoning--

Girls are often taught that married life is the only life and magically the ring will erase all your problems. (Ugly stepsisters, poverty and the like)

He is a pup (26). Thinks he knows it all. I doubt that he has a clue. He does need to discuss this with his wife and or physician and or religious leader.

Art there any chidren step or otherwise in this scenario?

Did they have an active sex life prior to the M? Can't remember if you answered that already.

His action do not sound off the A horn, but warrant a watchful eye for other signs.

The possibility he is homosexual!? I guess it's possible, but what reason does someone have to knowingly dupe a woman in to M if he is homosexual? Is she rich? Did she get pregnant and he felt obligated to M? It just seems to be a VERY low percentage reason to me...

Has she outright asked him what is wrong?

Maybe he does not like her to be agressive regarding SF? I would suggest she try being alluring without persuing. i.e. walk around wearing something that would turn him on (which doesn't have to mean Victorias Secret). For me... When my W would wear one of my T-shirts and a pair a panties around the house, she could have been carrying a basket of laundry... I was watching.

Men are visual. Take advantage of that. Taunt him, but leave it to him to initiate. What features about her got him worked up when they were dating? Have her accentuate that visual simulation without saying a word.

Maybe change things up. Does she sleep nude? It does not have to be announced. Let him figure it out on his own!



-JKT

I highly doubt it. As far as I know, he's only been with women, and he doesn't seem gay at all.

You coud be right... maybe physical attraciveness is his #1 EN... She has gained a lot since the wedding... She does push for more SF and it is making things worse. I'll suggest to her to calm down a bit.

No,they didn't marry virgins. They had SF while they were dating, and also have been with others in past relationships. And she kept tying to talk about it all day before he blew up.

Don't think so.. they say they want to have a baby together.

IOW, she's "let herself go". If PhysA is his #1 EN, at best the H must be feeling frustrated, and at worst he must be feeling that he was duped into M'ing your best friend.

Suggest to your BF that she start an exercise routine, give up the donuts and concentrate on being "alluring" rather than "attacking". Her H may soon come around .

I'd have to talk to my friend to answer all your questions, but the answers I can give are:
No, not military... he was unemployed since a few months before the wedding, and got a job a couple weeks ago. She has always worked full time.
No anti-deps, and no physical abuse. When I say he blew up, I mean he went from a normal tone, to an angry tone and then hung up on my friend because he had guests over (she was at work) and didnt want to be rude by being on the phone.

Mine, too

Yes, he has a 1 &1/2 year old son from a previous relationship.

Good questions! I dont know the answers, but those are good suggestions and I will tell her what you say.

He had guests over while she was working. What kind of guests? Why wasn't he out looking for a new job? I think this whole work situation could be trouble. Did the issue start around the time of either his unemployment or his new job?
Why did he lose his last job? Is there something else going on, maybe your friend hasn't confronted?
Just some ideas to consider...

What is his R like with the mother of the small child.

Good thinking! I'm definitely going to tell her what you said! I wonder if she even knows what his #1 EN is... Maybe I'll also tell her about the EN quetonnaire.

Hmmm... IDK what kind of guests... but I said he just got a new job a couple weeks ago. I guess he had the day off? He lot his last job because of budget cuts, I think. The issue started a couple months ago. I know she has been frustrated the whole time he was unemployed. He was glad to stay home and collect unemployment and that p*ssd her off. His unemployment ran out right before the new job.

I completely agree. Especially in your 20s.

My friend says they all get along really well for the sake of the child. She said her H was only with the mother for a few months and found out she was pregnant right after they broke up.

Did he say those exact words, or was SHE making that assumption?

Also, what is their work schedule like? When is he home alone without her?

Wait! Don't send her down that path until she has done the Love Buster questionnaire!

If she is doing things he doesn't like - and that's almost a 100% certainty since they just got married and are still getting used to being together (giving up old habits, fighting over habits, etc.) - those LBs will drain ANY ENs she meets faster than she can fill them.