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 Stop deleting evidence that can be useful to you later.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Oct 2009
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Thanks Mel. You always know exactly how to cheer me up. My WH has gone from yelling at me through instant message, to flirting with me in a matter of 15 minutes....Is he psycho?
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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claygal watching the crazy infidels-----------------> ![[Linked Image from improvresourcecenter.com]](http://www.improvresourcecenter.com/mb/images/smilies/popcorn.gif)
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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claygal watching Skankyhola have a meltdown-----> ![[Linked Image from i39.photobucket.com]](http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e193/jwondering/th_gigglerabbit.gif)
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OK....So he has gone from being so furious that he was never coming back to apologizing in the matter of about an hour...Is this normal behavior?
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Joined: May 2009
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Its normal.
He may still rant about it.
Just try to be calm when he does rant again.
He is just taking a breather or trying to lull you into not being on your toes.
Either way.....you will be okay. Do not let yourself react.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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OK....So he has gone from being so furious that he was never coming back to apologizing in the matter of about an hour...Is this normal behavior? It is classic wayward behavior. They are like a falling down drunk.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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LOL Mel! 
Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.
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We are now having a very civil chat conversation. Lord....please get me off of this rollercoaster
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Now he wants to come over for sex tonight. OMG.....Told him I would meet him for a dring and FUN conversation. Is that ok?
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Also, their story about who called who first do not match up. Do I press him on it or just let it go
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I may be wrong, but I think you need to wait for specifics until he's ready for complete submission. Right now...all you care about is that - NC, transparency, and access to all his stuff. If he's not ready for that, no talking about issues.
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So if he's not ready for the transparency stuff, I just stick to small talk? He wants to meet me for a drink tonight, do I go? Just for FUN conversation?
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"all you care about is that - NC, transparency, and access to all his stuff. If he's not ready for that, no talking about issues."
Do not go and see him for drinks until he meets conditions to recover such as NC, NC letter, transparency to verify NC. Access to all computer passwords, same with cell, get a GPS phone with real time GPS.
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She lives 1500 miles away. I don't think I need GPS. What about plan A. I guess I don't know enough about it, I thought I was supposed to fill his needs
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Anyone have some advise for me?
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You fill his needs AFTER you set your boundaries and let him know what YOU are willing to settle for.
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Ok thanks. Do you think I should make an excuse about tonight. Or do I have this discussion with him now. We have already had a rollercoaster day, and I am not sure I am ready to discuss this with him again. And I am sure he is not in the mood to hear it.
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the saga continues.....I just got ANOTHER email from OW. I had forwarded a previous email(from earlier this afternoon) from her to my WH. Where she asked me to forward, saying that she wanted no further contact from him. He apparently sent it back to her, or tried to contact her or something. I had eliminated a few details from email (probably shouldn't have) because I had not asked him yet to change email and phone numbers yet and he had lied to me again saying that he had recieved a message from her that I had called her husband and he was calling to check up on her. This was not the case. It was a coincidence that he tried to call her AGAIN and just happened to call the day after I called OWH. I wanted to give him the opportunity to be honest with me. Does it usually get this messy?
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Never make excuses. That is lying. Tell him the truth, always. "I've had enough today. I need time to think. We'll talk tomorrow."
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