bin thinkin bout ya

Thanks ST...haven't posted for a long while. Lost my entire thread. I'm okay with it.
Struggling a bit these days...false recovery. Trying to get my bearings and determine next step. My Plan A was outstanding...really been putting it on thick for the past 4 1/2 months. I thought they had stopped talking but H resumed contact...said that he simply didn't believe it when she told him that it was over...felt that she was being pressured by her H due to my calling them both. My H felt it was artificial.
I've been over at his place and we've been spending a lot of time together but he just can't "kick the habit." He's so caught up in her.
I'm tired...staying in meditation and prayer and focusing on taking good care of me. I'm about to launch the next phase...just trying to determine the logistics and be tactical about it.
My H has become so deceitful..I'm very disappointed but I realize that the temptation and addiction really has him warped. I've got to stay sane and centered.
Thanks for thinking of me.
Next month will be 1 year since D-Day.
W

Maybe a plan B will do it for you. Good luck no matter where you land.

Thanks TheRoad...
I had already done a Plan B (for 3 weeks dark). It's tough when we're apart and I can't see what he's doing. I'm considering Plan don't give a sh*t. My Goodness, they are so friggen addicted. Trying not to lose faith here...but I'm drying up. He knows it..and he's more lucid than in the past because we've been spending a lot of time together..I feel like I'm addicted to him now! Imagine that.
I need to give myself a break from all of this. I want to start living my life again and enjoying it. I think I'm going to change the course of my attention and focus on me. Dark Plan B...light Plan B...it's going to be about me. It's been about him for too long --- one way or another he's going to notice that the spotlight isn't going to be on him anymore.
BTW: OW still hasn't told her H herself...even after I called him and he told me that he had known twice before, (now that makes it 3 times that he knows), the charade continues. I don't see the OWH as an ally for me as he doesn't appear to be fighting for his marriage. He is a conflict avoider, but I could be wrong.

Oh Warrioress

I'm so sorry.
You totally need to focus on you. Remember that is exactly what plan B is.
You need to take plan B very seriously and do it just for you. Read up here, there are plenty of threads on plan B and plenty of people to help you with it and I'll be here cheering you on.

But you have to do a proper plan B which has to follow a top class plan A - are you quite sure that the plan A miles apart as been as top as it could.

I know you're tired right now, but could you move in with him to ensure the quality of plan A before you go dark.

Make your plan carefully and put YOU first.

Thanks ST. Moving in with him? I've asked. Really, he is waiting for her to make a final, final, final move....whenever that'll be. He is so halebent on believing that this was not all a fool's game...I really believe in my heart that I've done the very best Plan A. Not just the last 4 1/2 months, but ever since he moved out...almost 11 months of it. The last 4 1/2 were more hands on and with me present in our other house...cooking his food, watching our special shows together, going on walks, going to the movies, lots of Recreational needs being met. He's blocking me from making a lot of other emotional deposits because he doesn't want to "feel" things for me - I think he's saving himself for her...whatever that means.
It's confusing and exhausting.
My sitch is weird because of our financial situation and being the breadwinner, and all the credit ratings being contingent upon me, I cannot and will not file for D...it will ruin me financially...been told by an attorney and by my banker. H doesn't want a D and hasn't ever asked me for one. He's the classic fence sitter.
I really think that by my retreating, he's going to feel the difference...I am very satisfied with my efforts in Plan A. He knows how much he is loved and wanted. He is supported and believed in. I want my M and him back. I've asked him to tell me what it is I want and he can clearly say all these things. He gets it.
So there is some lucidity there.
Much prayer has gone into this...God is at work..I do not doubt this. But what a stronghold this has on our M.
I have told him that I will not stop fighting for him and won't hand him over to the OW. I think he relishes this...nevertheless, I continue to wear my wedding ring and am staying true to my heart. I listen to my inner voice and follow it.
Now, I believe I am getting strong enough to step back and take serious care of my needs. He is going to see this...I am certain of it.
ST - keep rooting for me. I need the positive energy and encouragement. This is the fight of my life.
W

Very much rooting for you. You can do it. Write it down, Chant it to yourself and focus on you.

Praying for your strength and clarity.

Thank you for the prayers....they are being answered...but you know, it's always in God's time...moving a mountain with a spoon.....

Never cease...
So grateful,
W

From BCB's thread:

Didn't see where the divorce was final yet.

Warrioress,

WTH?

Are you going to date while still married? Isn't that what led to this problem, he dated while married?

You aren't going to start trying to justify this by telling me you're unhappy, that you've been unhappy for ____months/years or that you were never really happy or in love or ...


What is with this plan W?

Married but not divorced = Still married


What happened to waiting on God to reveal His plan? What happened to "in His time"?

Mark