It has been the most difficult year of my life, through my own fault. A year ago this week, I was forgetting everything I knew I should be as a person, and was plunging foolishly & selfishly into my affair -- the worst 10 & a half weeks of my life, and of my wife's life. I had some of the details posted in the Infidelity forums, but they were lost with the Oct'09 server crash.

Well, fast-forward, though all the grief & pain I caused for my wife & myself. Through all the crying on shoulders of friends, through the marriage counseling sessions, the early-morning coffees with our pastor, the insecurities & mistrusts that had to be overcome. I would never have dared to dream that things could have turned out this well. There are still occasional tough days for her, emotionally, but crazy as this sounds, in the past 10 months we have reconnected at a depth that never before existed. I am wanting not to get overconfident, and I think that there may be more tough days ahead in the next 2 months, as the calendar will be full of memory-trigger "anniversaries" of happenings that neither she nor I would care ever to remember again. From all the pain I have seen expressed by other betrayed spouses on the Infidelity boards, I feel as though we have gotten off very lucky compared to most, in tems of our marriage. (I certainly have been far luckier than I've deserved.)

In 2 weeks, it will be her 44th birthday. (It will also be 24 years since our first kiss.) I've gotten us a swank hotel in Manhattan, some plane tickets and tickets to a Broadway show, as she loves musicals, and has never been to NY.

I'd composed some thoughts & was planning to put them in a handwritten note in her birthday card, that I'll be giving her in NY. However, yesterday, for no reason, "just because" (or perhaps to take our minds off the events of a year ago?), before she left for work, she left me a very sweet card. I felt I needed to "retaliate" spontaneously, and so I gave her what I had written, because I just didn't want to wait another day before expressing what was on my heart. The words are my own:
>>>>>>>>>>

There is no other woman

The soft lilt of whose voice tells me, before it has finished a solitary word
That in its mere hearing, no matter where I may be, I am home;

Who can say to me with no more than a single glance, or a steady gaze
That everything will be ok;

Who carries my hurts, anxieties and fears as her own
And walks with me until they are gone or overcome;

Whose kiss stirs my blood when she is there to give it
And causes me to pine, restless, incomplete, when she is not;

Who has followed me the world over, given me all of her best years
And promised me all of the even better ones ahead;

Whose heart I swore, by all that is Holy, to protect above all others
And yet hurt so carelessly and so deeply;

By whom I have been forgiven so much
And who dared to trust me when I proved faithless;

Who has seen good in me, when I could find nothing in myself worth believing in;

Who has so encouraged me to look for the paths in which God would have me walk
In the same ways she has walked;

Who has given Life itself, and so much more, to my children, of whom I am so proud;

Who has pleased me so well, and for so long
And drawn as much joy in giving to me as in receiving from me;

Whose eyes lead me, whose smile fills me with gladness, whose laughter heals me
And whose embrace I yearn for each day until I am in it;

Whom I want, and with whom I choose to share my life;
Whom I place first -- today and for all the days to come;
Into whose hands I place my heart, my life and my very soul;
Whom I know so well and yet wish to know better still;
Who is the very air without which I cannot imagine breathing;

Who is my everything, whom I love with all that I am, like no other,

And whom I shall love no less when a thousand forevers have all passed away and all has been made New.
>>>>>>>>>>
She was so deeply touched. But any gift of words or deeds that I could give her seems so insignificant, so inadequate. Simply by still having me around, when she would've been within her every right to kick me out back on January 7 after how I mistreated her, she is giving me a gift every single day.

GO,

This is so beautiful. I think you should copy this post and put in on the SAA forum. WS's on there need to see how possible it is to come out of the fog and have so much love and passion for your spouse. The the BS's...well, this can give them hope.

It it truly lovely. I appreciate the twist you put on the title. The whole story is one about how there is no other woman...who could ever compare to the one you always had at home.

PRICELESS!

Credit goes to Trust_Will_Come, who's had to put up with it all. But thanks for the comment, SMB.

This is beautiful. It brought me to tears. GloveOil, you have a wonderful way with words.

Very nicely done, GO.

How long will you be in the Big Apple?

My bad......

Darn you Gloveoil! You made me tear up, just a little. It is a feat not many have accomplished.

FWH's like you set the bar really, really high. It's a good thing.

My fault. I commented so that it would bring it to the top, and my WH could read it. He will be posting on here and I was hoping that you could give him advice, GloveOil.