Well, I guess some people have a price. If money would make you feel better, then by all means, go back to D court and try to get it.

This thread has descended to a level that no longer warrants my time. I choose not to live my life feeling bitter and angry over the past. Choose to live yours however you like.

If you feel you are being harassed by any other poster, send an email to one of the mods describing your complaints.

Eh, I don't think folks need your permission to lead their lives as they see fit.
As for trying to get restitution in D court, forget it. Ain't gonna happen. Same with most any civil suit premised on this type of emotional assault. Too many people have not been through it and do not understand.
I suppose there are some tort theories one might try like intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligent infliction... etc. In contract, there may be some theory, as well. Clearly there was a breach that caused damages. I've never heard of a successful case against the spouse, though. Most of the verdicts I've heard about involved the affair partner and the alienation of affection deal. Not too many jusrisdicitons recognize this as a cause of action, though, I believe.

Harley, in his tape thinks there should be a cause of action or criminalization.

Pep, I hope you don't think I was harassing writer. I feel terrible that she endured what she did when betrayed. I'm also glad she and her H were able to R, espcially since there is an OC involved.
I just don't have any sympathy for the pain from the wayward days, if you KWIM?

Zelmo, you need to pick up his book, In Defense of Marriage by Dr Harley. He really goes into the laws against adultery and how he believes they should be brought back. He makes a pretty darn good case! I found it one of his most fascinating books. With your legal background, you would probably get alot out of it.

Writer,

Just because some members on here could see money as tool for restitution doesn't mean they are bitter nor angry. To even SUGGEST otherwise is cruel dig to their pain and suffering.

People are re-embursed for pain and suffering with money EVERY day. The courts are filled with civil suits. Insurance companies cover this very notion. So why COULDN'T a BS be compensated this way???

I know many have stated that no amount could do it, but then again if it wasn't done then how would one know???

SMB stated very eloquately on TST's restitution and WHY.

I would think that IF a BS wanted to be paid for their pain and had a dollar amount in mind and the WS balked at doing that, it would a telling sign of their true character going forward in recovery......

Not2fun

I'll check it out, Mel.
Amazingly, before I went through this, I would have thought criminalizing this or even allowing a cicil cause of action was wrong, sort of trying to legislate morality.
Now, I can see that cheating like this does result in some very real, tangible and, to an extent, quantifiable damage.
I had to pay the co-pays for anti-depressants and therapy because of my XW's betrayal. My work suffered and I may have misse out on some raises and bonuses.
The pain and suffering components are subjective , but , juries compenste people for this type of harm all the time.
I'll read Harely's book. It would be interesting to know if there are some defenses to bringing this type of lawsuit that i have not considered. Some type of spousal immunity or something. Otherwise, I would think that in today's litigous society, we wouldsee a fair number of these.

You nailed it, not2. It is not so much whther the restitution would make one whole. It is the willingness to attempt to make restition that is significant to me.
In my first marriage, my XW abandoned me and my two young boys, one with Down Syndrome and autism, to get drunk and chase men 224 out of 365 nights , on average, for 3 years(kept track).
She , later , came to me and asked me how to pay me back( working her 12 step deal, undoubtedly((which is good, although her idea of working it was talking the talk, not walking the walk). I told her, as Maninmotion mentions, that I wanted my time back. She sort of gasped and then, did nothing. Never lifeted a finger to help me heal. No full disclosure. No offer to pay me for all the free, fraudulently obtained babysitting( I know it is not babysitting when it is your own kids. But, clearly the services had value to her and subsidized her prowling)). Not one single ,tangible bit of payback. A 15 second apology delivered at the halftime of my son's football game. No details, no tears, no specifics as to what she was apologizing for. Just some bogus, generalized apology which might as well have been for forgetting to pick up some item at the grocery store.

This speaks VOLUMES about your "recovery" and the lack of your WW making any compensation to you.

Yep, seems some of the toughest recoveries are the ones where the Ws does squat.

I agree Pariah. Truly recovered marriages have received just compensation. For those who did indeed not recover despite their best efforts I can understand them feeling this way.

Can't we keep things light around here? Otherwise, i'm going to the RAVE/RANT section of Craig's list. There are some cool people there...hehe DUDE

Quido Absurdum...DUDE

Well they are NOT real recoveries.

Ending the affair is NOT the same as recovery.

You can call a steaming plie of **** a rose but it's still a steaming pile of ****

t/j to BigKahuna! Is the geico lizard British or Australian?? We can't tell the difference here in America.

I was referring to personal recovery, BK. I've read it takes longer when the WS just never admits, never provides details, and shows no remorse while conducting a smear campaign. That is a tough row to hoe for a BS.

Gotcha and I agree.

Gecko - we have them here but I know they have them in many parto of the world Mel. Google is your friend..

You choose to discount the true destruction some of us have faced and it is down right condescending and insulting.

I lost over $130,000 in my unwanted divorce.

From my standpoint, 130k would put me back at zero and I'd be forced to be happy with that.

You can continue on with your own little utopia now.

Have you completely moved on? Do you feel healed at all? Are you dating now? I mean, sheet happens and why it seems horrible at the time(both my divorces), it always turned out better later than it was before. Can you get there? DUDE

**edit**

I still haven't recovered the 130k.

**edit**