I live in a no fault state my WW seems to be getting ready to move in with OM. I filed a separation agreement stating 50% custody. Now that she plans to move in with OM I feel like fighting for full custody. I just cant believe her. Does anyone have any experience with affairs and child custody?

I'm a tax attorney and NOT a divorce attorney so I don't know much and certainly don't know about your state.

Perhaps file a divorce petition seeking full custody, hence mucking the separation agreement. You'll likely be up against it a bit since you already conceeded 50/50 and I presume that's been in effect for a bit here (and the kids have already gotten accustomed to it as custody evaluations are all about the kids perspective). It will be harder to change the status quo.

That being said...perhaps simultaneously, you file a emergency petition or immediate motion for temporary custody pending the final custody determination based upon the NEW INFORMATION you obtained about the upcoming exposure of the children to damaging behavior. Moral turpitude or something like that. Though you may not be granted such temporary custody you MAY, at least, insure the judge to ORDERS no-cohabitation and/or exposure of the children to any adutery partner. You MAY get the judge to ORDER pending the divorce that neither of you are to have unrelated opposite sex over night guests. This can also be put in the final divorce decree (which can only be circumvented by WW marrying OM and thus, making him "related").

You'll have to seek legal counsel in your state to know what you can motion for, what you're likely to win, and how to go about winning such. In some states, even no-fault ones, it's standard language in Judge's temporary orders pending divorce (along with no dissipating marital assets, etc.).

Good luck and hope you've been keepin up on your documentation. Father's CAN win custody but it's an uphill battle. Do your homework. There's lots of information out there that can assist you.

Mr. Wondering

Make sure you subpoena OM, OM's wife or exwife, and his parents, on how much contact he/they have had with your children. And let your wife know how miserable and humiliating it is going to be if she tries to take your kids over to him. A lot of times, that will stop it because they fear the humiliation. Or OM will just drop her. A long shot, but possible.

I feel for you. In the same boat. I noticed a lot of advice on this topic on these forums, "morality clauses" some of them were referred to. I took these things to my lawyer, as my husband went from coming back home one day, to moving in with OW the next, and I couldn't stomach the thought of my kids living with her during visitation. Laws are different in different states, but what I got from my lawyer is that a "morality clause" can be a part of any negotiation, and enforced to some degree once it's agreed upon. But the time to have addressed it probably should have been done during the separation agreement. My lawyer did tell me that my husband exposing OW to the kids so soon is an influential factor, but not a deciding factor in custody. Since we are still negotiating custody, it's still a valid topic. I think there is less wiggle room if custody has already been established and you're looking to break the status quo as a result. I'm not lawyer, but this is what my lawyer told me.

Now I have a question for you. I am almost sure to get full custody and plan on setting reasonable terms for visitation. However, the fact that my husband put this manipulative b#@?! in front of his wife, family, assets, and access to his kids has me twisted and bitter. I don't blame her for the pending divorce, but she gave ultimatums that were sure to rip this family to shreds (both financially and emotionally) when my husband accepted her terms. I hate the fact that she is practically raising my kids when they are over there after what she has done to them. I have a strong urge to issue an ultimatum of my own if/when I get full custody, severely limiting my kids access to their father so long as he is cohabitating with her. There are both vindictive reasons for this, as well as valid concerns to exposing them to this relationship in this way. What do you think I should do? Answer my question and you might just answer your own.