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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13 |
I am just asking opinions on what I do next. I am new here and to my current situation.
I caught my spouse in an EA. He has done nothing but deny it. I have proof and lots. He still denies it. Says basically his phone is calling and texting by itself.
I left him with the kids for 4 days. I came back and we are supposed to work on it. BUT I can't let go. I am furious one minute, sad the next and now I don't trust him AT ALL.
He's being SUPER DUPER nice to me and showing me the love that he basically hasn't ever shown me in 15 yrs. So I am wondering what that's all about. Do I bury the old stuff and go with the new attitude but still keep checking up to make sure its ended. Or is there something else to be seen with his new found LOVE for me? GOSH!!!!! I am sooo confused.
Deedee
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Please stick to one thread - OK?
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13 |
LOL OK, I thought maybe the others timed out or something. Sorry!
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
DeeDee, I had the hardest time with the board when I first got here. I thought I could only type once and then someone else had to respond, so I started multiple threads. I figured it out in time. We are all in this together. 
Last edited by QueeniesAdventures; 11/06/09 02:28 PM.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,757 |
Are you fishing around for someone here to tell you, "Sure go ahead, let it ride for awhile, no need to snoop or further-expose, as long as he's being super-nice lately."
Look: If you snoop, and find nothing, you'll feel better & relieved. If you don't, and things go south later, you'll feel like you wasted however much time passes between now & then.
Re: exposure, it's what killed my affair & got me to straighten up & fly right. My wife didn't suspect much, 'cuz I'd always been so super-nice to her in 16+ years of marriage. But during the 10+ weeks last year when I was secretly NOT so super-nice, the OW's husband acted on his gut suspicions & hired a PI & found her out; and when my OW told me this & begged me to run away with her, it forced me to stand & make a choice; I knew I had to go to my wife & spill the whole truth & take the consequences & turn my life back around if I wanted to have a prayer of saving my marriage. (Until then, I'd been content to 'have my cake & eat it too.') I don't know if that's how things will turn out with your H, but that's just my experience. Expose. If you want to wish there's a better/easier way to resolve things, keep hunting, maybe you'll find one... but probably not in this forum.
Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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