He seems to be somewhere in between. I mean he does call me for lunch dates etc... but he has told both girls he is content to be alone right now. he also had chance to see youngest daughter last night, after not seeing much of her all week, and he chose not to.

Oldest texted him last night "I thought we were going to get izza or something, why did you leave?" His response this morning was "I thought you didn't feel well so I left you alone"

It was very clear she was more than fine! He had just bought her a brand new cell phone, one that haws only been on market for one day. She was bouncing off the walls.

No Clay thats not what i was asking about, i was asking about how he acted day to day life, ie does he wear wedding ring, does he call in to check regarding financial issues, does he volontarely keep you updated on his plans (ie today im going to go to the gym then im thinking of going to bed early etc). These are the actions of someone who sees himself as still being married.
If he is rebelling, going out to bars, splashing his money on himself, making plans to decorate new home/buying items for new home etc, not telling you what his plans are etc, these are all signs he is living a single man's lifestyle and you may consider these trait and being more specific about them in your list when deciding whats acceptable and whats not when he commits to building marriage.

Oh, sorry. No he is not wearing his wedding ring. For the most part he tells me what he is doing and where he is going. He is renting a garage converted to a studio apartment. It was already furnished. Has made no attempt to find another place, or redecorate. He does call to discuss business and finances. I don't think he is going out at night. Many nights I get texts saying he is bored... So no, I don't think he is really living a single mans life, except for the wedding ring. Which I think he took off because I took mine off when I told him I didn't feel married to him because of continued contact. (Plus my ring wore through in a spot a few months ago and cuts my finger) I wore another ring for a little while. Once when we were shopping we stopped at a jewelry store to look at rings, but he has never purchased one for me. I even told him it didn't have to be a big diamond. Could even be a fake, but he has never bought one.

"Renting" is the perfect word. He is a "renter" by definition...
Keep your guard up, my friend!

To block someone from sending email to your Yahoo! email account, you have to be using Yahoo! classic. If you're in the new Yahoo! mail, at the top right you'll see "Mobile|Options|Help" Click Options -> Switch to Yahoo! Mail Classic.

1. Click Options in the upper-right corner of your Yahoo! Mail page and select Mail Options.
2. Under "Spam", click Block Addresses.
3. Under "Add Block", enter the email address from which you don't want to receive mail.
4. Click Add Block.
5. The address now appears on your list of blocked addresses.

ok. Just did that. Do you know if they get sent back to him?

I'd be surprised if they get sent back. It's extra work the Yahoo! servers would have to do, and why would they, for unwanted email?

Not only that, but an auto-reply would alert spammers that they'd reached a valid email address. Better to just silently discard the blocked message. That's what most systems do.

I don't know for sure what Yahoo! does, but silent discard would be my guess.

Thanks, I was sort of hoping they would get mailed back as undeliverable. Oh well... WH is very mad about plan B letter. Not happy with who I chose as IM. I told her to tell him that I chose her as to make it least awkward for him, not someone in our circle of friends. I also told her to tell him to re-read my letter as to understand why I felt this was necessary for me to protect my feelings for him and to continue to want to save our marriage. Did I do good?

You can test it. Block a friend and ask her to email you and see what happens.

No, he doesn't need to know why you chose your IM.
And you shouldn't know he's mad about the Plan B letter.

Referring him back to the letter is good, but it should come from the IM, not from you thru the IM. You shouldn't know a thing.

ok. I will tell her.

Claygirl:

I'm just catching up on your thread and saw this.

Are you married to my husband?

By now, you should have NO IDEA how he feels about anything.

REMIND your IM that you get NOTHING except emergency child and financial info. NOTHING.

You can give your IM a list of requirements, and if she reads an email from him suggesting reconciling, she can pass the list on to him.

tst often posts the list his wife gave him as requirements for moving home. Perhaps he'll be along to repost it, or someone can find and repost it (I'm terrible at using the search feature...)?

There is a thread called "IM training school" that I bumped for you CG. Maybe you can refer your IM here to read it. Here's the link:
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=157563&Number=2264548#Post2264548

CG, I didn't even read it before I posted the link for you but I just started to look at it and you might want to read it over as well, there is also Plan B info in there...

Thanks Susie - I know this is going to be hard. I do not want anymore false recoveries. I will start spending more time on myself and kids and less time worrying about marriage.

I'm wondering if mine is over anyway

Wow, claygal. You already went to plan B?

If you feel the time is right, then it's right.

Remember, we are rooting for you here. At this point you will not know if it's going to work out. But you will know you have done everything you could, instead of always wondering if you should have gone through Plan A/Plan B as outlined here on MB. (prior to MB, I was on other websites that advocated doing your best while allowing H to do whatever he wanted to do, for at least 5-7 years... looking back on it, I just want to puke)

However, your H's reaction tells me you are IMPORTANT to him and that he never anticipated not having you in his life at all. It sounds very good to me.

Try not to dwell on him or your M during this dark time. It's ALL about you and your DDs now.

Thanks notsure - I spent 3 days feeling like I couldn't do plan A anymore, and on Thursday he really made me mad by not staying around for 30 minutes to see youngest daughter. Then he wouldn't answer texts from them or phone calls from me.

I was just feeling that I couldn't be nice to him anymore, or allow him to treat DDs this way. I am thinking that I was probably premature with plan B but as he lived with us for almost a year, and continued contact, and I did an instinctively plan a for that time (Although far from perfect) I just felt I couldn't do it anymore. My strength was waning.

He was also starting to act a little weird again. Pleasant, but very distant, (more contact? I don't know) so I decided to go ahead. Decided I should pull away first, so he would feel the loss more, and maybe feel like he is not the only one in control.

I haven't heard from melodylane in awhile, could someone point her to my thread? Feel like I could use her support as well...

Did you send your IM the info in ML's thread?

I think a top priority for you now is to protect yourself from WH's baloney and start focusing on life w/o him. You have been dealing with his A and cake-eating for over a year now...and I have heard the BS almost needs to go through their own withdrawal.

Are you doing anything fun with your girls this weekend?