My WH kept telling me that OW would not leave him alone and called him 100 times a day. When I figured out how to look at his work cell records, the opposite was true. When I told him what I found, he said "If I didn't call, I'd get in trouble." He IS an adult, right???

"She's divorced and has two small children and no one to help her. Life is really hard for her. I feel sorry for her. I want to help her."

ME: 'Doesn't it bother you that you are putting your children and me in the same situation?'

Him: "Yes. But I have a chance for happiness and I am afraid not to take it."

Ahhh...gotta love some of the gems from all of you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Couple of my favorites:

FWH would call OW EVERY NIGHT from our home and couldn't understand why this hurt me because "I always sit in my truck in the driveway, it's not like you can hear anything"

Oops! hit send too fast -- had a couple more...

FWH about OW - 'She's not a bad person'

Yeah, okay -- she just slept with someone she knew was married one DAY after meeting him, and she's a GOOD person.


Regarding FWH $1,000 cell phone bill (OW lives in another country) - 'That is the price of love' PUKE!

LOL my XH got a whopper cell bill too. GF lived on the other side of the country. Our business used to pay his cell bill, which was usually about $60/month or so. Then one month I got a bill for over $700. I let him know that the business would *not* be paying that one. He's been managing his own cell bills ever since. He got GF and her DD cells on his account (her DS had one paid for by his father). XH complained to me once that the daughter's "share" of the bill one month was over $200. Heck I have 2 lines on my account (spare phone my kids share if either or both go out)... $85 with bells and whistles on my phone. I nearly had an anyurism when I saw that $700+ bill!

JinGA

Jinga -- oh yes, the s%it hit the fan when I saw that bill, let me tell you. I just sat there looking at it, imagining all the other things we could have bought with that money, all wasted on the OW.

I am so glad that now when we get the bill that awful number (boy the triggers that international # used to cause) -- is not on there anymore.

I'd take a 700 dollar phone bill over a $20,000 withdrawal from the 401K (without my knowledge) and a $10,000 credit card bill. Would have gone a long way in paying for my DS18 college bill and, any number of things in this household. But a month in Florida with a girlfriend costs some doe. She was probably high maintenance.

In my FWH's defense, he is now working a second job to try and rectify the financial situation around here. Strangely, sometimes, I do feel sorry for him.

Well I was separated when that happened - wasn't an affair, I knew about her, and XH knew I was in a R too... but I drew the line at our jointly owned business funding his long-distance romance.

He's spend a whole lot more than that - he supported her and her kids for a whole year before she moved back to her home state a few months ago. I don't know if he's still paying for her phones, but if I were a betting person... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> That's his problem, not mine. During that year, he reneged on a mortgage payment that was a part of my property settlement in the D, the check bounced, he couldn't/wouldn't make it good and it resulted in my filing a contempt complaint with the court. That was a stressful mess that necessitated my borrowing 2 months' worth of mortgage payments from my mother when I got the foreclosure call <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

That's all sorted out now - and we're back to getting along and working together in the business. When he got into financial trouble he bailed on me in the business too. I actually didn't get nasty with him during all that, even though he got nasty with me. That much is forgiven. He came back to the business when it really *needed* him and since GF left, even though they are still "involved", he has become much more relaxed (maybe because she's not watching him like a hawk and giving him grief about his obligations to his business and his family anymore).

It is still just mind-boggling though how another person can turn an otherwise sane individual into a crazy person. I still shake my head sometimes - but it's his life. We aren't married anymore, so he can do as he pleases I guess.

The door home is still wide open, he knows it, and there are times when I feel he would like to walk through - but I've asked him and he turned me down. Trying hard to just let it go. If he'd rather do what he's doing now, instead of rebuilding his life with his family, in his home, that *we* bought together, resuming the life *we* made together, well so be it. I'm getting on with life, with or without him.

JinGA

JinGA, it is mind boggling,but I'm trying really hard to just let the shock of it all wear off and deal with the issues at hand, today. I can't hit a rewind button. And in my decision to take him back, I also decided to deal with the financial mess he created. I just need to get on with it.

And good for you, JinGA, get on with your life. Maybe by the time he gets around to wanting to come home, you won't want him anymore.

Well there's no guarantee that he will ever want to come home. He told me it was "unlikely"... he didn't say "never" - but he's still entangled with GF to date (we talked a month ago at my request, and I stated my feelings and left the ball in his court).

I'm not out looking for anybody else - been there, tried that - too soon - big disaster... so I've been on my own for a while and I'm OK with that.

He's physically on his own... not emotionally (yet)... it could just be that I'm farther down the path than he is at the moment. He may catch up to me, he may not.

I'd *like* for him to come home... I'd love for him to come home but even that wouldn't be an overnight thing - I'd be happy with dating him again... but if he's not into it, then it's not going to happen.

At least since she left he hasn't fed me any junk about how wonderful their R is... I think he knows that even if I didn't say anything about it (trying very hard not to DJ or LB)... he knows I'd be thinkin' it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

If long-distance floats his boat - that's up to him. He can keep on paying high cell phone bills and being by himself a lot. Not me. The kids and I stay busy. I work lots, have little free time but we do what we can in that free time and have FUN doing it. That's the only way to go from here.

It sure is amazing the stuff people say, though, isn't it?

Another classic was when I did approach XH to reconcile... he told me it was too bad that I'd chosen the wrong person to move on with (that much was true, but coming from him I nearly called him "Kettle"!)... but I didn't.

Oh yeah... and another one. Back in March, we had a bit of a tiff - my bad I instigated it - I was suffering from some serious burnout here in the business and I started a war of words (which I did apologize for, and have not done since) but during the heat of that spat, he told me I had no life. (I responded by telling him he was being led around by the hoo-hah)... then I stopped with the low blows - two wrongs don't make a right.

The real irony came about 3 weeks later - when his GF dropped the bomb and he came to my house looking for the kids and me (using the premise of returning stuff that the kids left at his place - he could have left it on the doorstep)... when he phoned to find me because I wasn't home - I was out having fun with the kids.

No life, eh?

Again - I held my tongue, I wouldn't kick him when he was down, but the irony of that particular moment was not lost on me at all. Something tells me it wasn't lost on him either.

I've got a life, thanks <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

JinGA

Well Atleast my WS was original with this one.

"I did not have an affair I just had a relatonship within a relationship"

Following consultation with dictionary and looking up the meaning of the word Affair, WS decided against persuing that line of defence any further.

WH said to me that he dated rebound girl a week after we separated because "he wanted to get me out of his head and she made him smile. He hadn't smiled in a long time"

2 months later he got offered phone sex by another woman and WH said to a friend: she made him smile and he hadn't smiled in a long time. He had a $ 1500 phone bill that month - I am sure he smiled a lot

Lets put it this way - he is certainly smiling more then me right now...

WW:

"You cheated on me first--by playing golf!" [yes, I confess to having sex with with my 5-iron]
"I'm not ruining my life, SDCW! It's a chance I have to take!" [let me know how that works out]
"I'm struggling with how God will view this..." [I think we both know that--DUHHHH!]
"It's not my fault OM is married too...I don't control his wife!" [did you just hear yourself???]
"Yes, (OM) has been married 3 times but God changes things!" [such as...OM's mistresses?]
"I had hoped we could remain friends" [sure--betrayal, deceit, manipulation, & abandonement are the best way to keep 'friends']


....many, many others

ME: I've been shot and I'm bleeding to death.

Her: you're lying....click

exWW:

"I'm in it for the long haul with POSOM" (This was two weeks after she shocked the world and said she wasn't happy and wanted a divorce)

"I've changed, I'm a horse trainer now." This was after we had invested huge sums of money and every vacation day I had for 4 years building up a horse farm for her. Keep in mind, PSUBIKER is allergic to horses too.

"I've got a medical condition which prevents me from thinking and speaking clearly when under stress" This was said to get a continuance in one of the protection orders she filed against me. This ended up biting her in the butt during the custody hearing.

Yeah, I remember when my WH said the "shes just a friend thing" to me and MIL after he left home...I said in front of MIL "Shes just a friend, you have sex with her, you love her and you left your family for her..and shes just a friend." and WH's reply...."Yeah"....like it makes perfect sense...

My favorite was a letter my wife sent me when I was attending a life altering spiritual retreat.

She closed her letter by saying "I'm sorry I "found" myself somewhere else".

When I asked her "oh so you found you were an adulterer, a liar, a cake eater, a mistress?" she quickly realized what a stupid comment she made.

And this one is my absolute favorite. When I found out the OM was the music teacher who my son was taking lessons from, I told her that was going to stop immediately. She said "but he needs the money". Yeah I'm going to pay the guy that has been having an affair with my W.

My favorite from my WH was "My faith has nothing to do with my decision!" Duh? How could it not?

the one that really ot me was my exwh saying ...

Why can't I have both of you, we could buy a big house and all live together like one happy family....

also another favorite was ..... She is just like you.
how is that I said? you both like the same things...

I said no way we are alike I don't sleep with married men.. and anyway if you are trying to get away from me why would you want someone like me? duhhh

exwh pleading his case for having both of us.... why can't you woman just share?

>[yes, I confess to having sex with with my 5-iron]


I call PERVERT!

;-)

>Why can't I have both of you, we could buy a big house and all live together like one happy family....


I got that one, too.

I'm pretty sure that OK is like TX and they frown on that sort of thing...