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In this country, in every state (I believe) there are ways to have missing persons legally declared deceased. Here's one such act: Missing Persons Act I don't know what God's determination on the situation would be. But the facts given, once she realized her husband was, in fact, alive...it seems to me she'd be obligated to end her what would at that moment become "an affair" immediately and go "no contact" with the BIL. It really would have been sticky had she married the BIL only to discover her 1st husband wasn't really dead. Which husband gets priority? I don't know the answer to that one...however, all in all, I don't think this is similiar to the woman in the Russina prison camp that CHOSE adultery to escape. If the woman in the movie truly believed her husband was dead (and he was legally determined dead) she'd be free to date and remarry anyone and THAT marriage would be the legitimate one (the brother would get priority). I think LEGALLY the marriage is over regardless if later it turns out he is alive (edit to add: but then again...if they are only dating and she hasn't remarried yet...I said she should end the then affair and go back to the 1st husband so I'm contradicting myself here). I certainly don't think it's adultery/wayward (just a little creepy going after his brother) as such is a conscious sinful choice, not an accident. (for example...rape is not adultery) Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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In this country, in every state (I believe) there are ways to have missing persons legally declared deceased. Here's one such act: Missing Persons Act I don't know what God's determination on the situation would be. But the facts given, once she realized her husband was, in fact, alive...it seems to me she'd be obligated to end her what would at that moment become "an affair" immediately and go "no contact" with the BIL. It really would have been sticky had she married the BIL only to discover her 1st husband wasn't really dead. Which husband gets priority? I don't know the answer to that one...however, all in all, I don't think this is similiar to the woman in the Russina prison camp that CHOSE adultery to escape. If the woman in the movie truly believed her husband was dead (and he was legally determined dead) she'd be free to date and remarry anyone and THAT marriage would be the legitimate one (the brother would get priority). I think LEGALLY the marriage is over regardless if later it turns out he is alive (edit to add: but then again...if they are only dating and she hasn't remarried yet...I said she should end the then affair and go back to the 1st husband so I'm contradicting myself here). I certainly don't think it's adultery/wayward (just a little creepy going after his brother) as such is a conscious sinful choice, not an accident. (for example...rape is not adultery) Mr. Wondering Agreed. Good post! A lot of reasoning in what you wrote and not so absolute. Sounds like a recovered BS to me...DUDE
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You had me scared there for a while..I thought that since and Mrs W were recovered, you'd know that things aren't always black and white when it comes to marriage. It just isn't by the nature of its complexity. You really do sound recovered. Congrats! DUDE
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You had me scared there for a while..I thought that since and Mrs W were recovered, you'd know that things aren't always black and white when it comes to marriage. It just isn't by the nature of its complexity. You really do sound recovered. Congrats! DUDE Hey isn't Absolute a Vodka? So if your an absolutist then your a Voka follower! HAHA  I kid I kid....ok I will shut up now  .
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You had me scared there for a while..I thought that since and Mrs W were recovered, you'd know that things aren't always black and white when it comes to marriage. It just isn't by the nature of its complexity. You really do sound recovered. Congrats! DUDE Hey isn't Absolute a Vodka? So if your an absolutist then your a Voka follower! HAHA I kid I kid....ok I will shut up now . Grey Goose baby....DUDE
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definitely need the mens rea and lack of duress for adultery, IMO. Little bit of a gray are in the woman prisoner's sitch. I'd argue the totality of the circumstances constitute duress.
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I am absolutely sure I despite adultery but am absolutely sure that a marriage can rise from the ashes. The only way for her to get out was if she got pregnant and applied for release as a hardship case. I have a problem with the "only way" really being the only way. Getting preggers may be the easiest way out if such a condition for release exists but the only way???? I don't know...I'm sure it would suck beyond belief to be separated from your family and in her mind the end might justify the means but I don't think I could do it. To me, it is very similar to a POW being asked to denounce/condemn his country for a chance to come home. What if the woman applied for release and it was denied? I would not trust an enemy to do what they say. It would be one thing if someone was going to kill my child, husband or loved one if I didn't do the deed but if I knew my children were safe with their father I think I'd be okay with that. I sure as heck would be brainstorming long and hard for other alternatives. If the soldier was so sympathetic to this woman, why didn't he try to sneak her out instead of looking to boink her? I'd be wondering just how many women this guy was sympathetic to. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Little bit of a gray are in the woman prisoner's sitch. I'd argue the totality of the circumstances constitute duress. The gravity of the situation must be seriously considered since such argument "the totality of circumstances" will be made with God, niether you nor I are the ultimate judge. Black and white might be inconvenient and even involve life-long intolerable suffering...but it's right even though sometimes outside our capabilities as ever rationalizing and justifying flawed humans. All of us DESERVE to end up in fire. That's why He came. There is a way out through Him (repentence and forgiveness) but not through endless rationalizing and justifying (which can never make wrong...right) Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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I stay away from the religous arguments. Not everyone is on the same page in that regard.
Old Testament stuff would seem a little more arbitrary on breaking the rules. New Testament stuff seems to allow for consideration of mitigating factors. Wonder if God had an epiphany A.D. and became more merciful.
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Little bit of a gray are in the woman prisoner's sitch. I'd argue the totality of the circumstances constitute duress. The gravity of the situation must be seriously considered since such argument "the totality of circumstances" will be made with God, niether you nor I are the ultimate judge. Black and white might be inconvenient and even involve life-long intolerable suffering...but it's right even though sometimes outside our capabilities as ever rationalizing and justifying flawed humans. All of us DESERVE to end up in fire. That's why He came. There is a way out through Him (repentence and forgiveness) but not through endless rationalizing and justifying (which can never make wrong...right) Mr. Wondering AND to add, there are a lot more things that are not right other than ADULTERY, pre-marital sex, tax cheating, not tithing properly, etc. The heightened awareness(aka TRIGGERS) for the Betrayed make the adultery seem so much worse. Its all sin...DUDE
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AND to add, there are a lot more things that are not right other than ADULTERY, pre-marital sex, tax cheating, not tithing properly, etc. The heightened awareness(aka TRIGGERS) for the Betrayed make the adultery seem so much worse. Its all sin...DUDE There were no broken vows involved with the others and you don't have to be married to commit them.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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AND to add, there are a lot more things that are not right other than ADULTERY, pre-marital sex, tax cheating, not tithing properly, etc. The heightened awareness(aka TRIGGERS) for the Betrayed make the adultery seem so much worse. Its all sin...DUDE There were no broken vows involved with the others and you don't have to be married to commit them. No committment(vow) with Tithing? Hmmm...Church of Scientology?
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Yeah, but here is an argument to consider re the other things you mention, Dude. In marriage, one explicitly agrees to the terms of the contract. You give your word.
In those other areas, such as taxation, tithing, premarital sex etc.,you have never specifically agreed to abide by someone elses terms. You never agreed to tithe , for example, or to pay your taxes(does'nt mean there won't be consequences).
So, there is no misrepresentation(well, lying on your taxes vs not paying them entirely does. And, an argument could be made that by utilizing government services, one effectively enters into a contract to pay. But, suppose you live in the woods, off the land.)
In any case, my point is that in the examples of sin you cite, not everyone agrees they are sinful and not everyone has explicitly agreed to abide by these rules(I am talking victimless rule violations.((Okay, we could get into a debate over that and whether violating some is to csoociety;s detriment, thus not victimless)).
But, after taking vows, cheating is a breach of an agreement
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No committment(vow) with Tithing? Hmmm...Church of Scientology? Scientology?  I do not know the "vows" of each religion. I know many are expected to tith by is there a sacred vow? I don't know.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Yeah, but here is an argument to consider re the other things you mention, Dude. In marriage, one explicitly agrees to the terms of the contract. You give your word.
In those other areas, such as taxation, tithing, premarital sex etc.,you have never specifically agreed to abide by someone elses terms. You never agreed to tithe , for example, or to pay your taxes(does'nt mean there won't be consequences).
So, there is no misrepresentation(well, lying on your taxes vs not paying them entirely does. And, an argument could be made that by utilizing government services, one effectively enters into a contract to pay. But, suppose you live in the woods, off the land.)
In any case, my point is that in the examples of sin you cite, not everyone agrees they are sinful and not everyone has explicitly agreed to abide by these rules(I am talking victimless rule violations.((Okay, we could get into a debate over that and whether violating some is to csoociety;s detriment, thus not victimless)).
But, after taking vows, cheating is a breach of an agreement Excuse me, then applying for a credit card, charging it straight up to the moon w/ no intention of paying it off, then defaulting and making no payments ever? Similar sin? Bank hurt, shareholders hurt, other card holders hurt? That better?
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No committment(vow) with Tithing? Hmmm...Church of Scientology? Scientology? I do not know the "vows" of each religion. I know many are expected to tith by is there a sacred vow? I don't know. I bet 90% of betrayed christian's DO NOT TITHE properly, because most Christians don't. I've been a treasurer, they don't. Its a committment to the Church and to GOD. DUDE
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I'm beginning to think there's something under the bridge.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Ya grumpy Dude? 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Ya grumpy Dude? Nope, but fun conversation. I love being a contrarian. Especially on here where the views are so slanted..DUDE
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