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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 89
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Posts: 89 |
When you have no answers and you think you are doing what seems to be working but you get no assurance from your spouse when is it time to give up and move on?
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 90
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Give us some more info on your situation. What have you been doing and for how long? How long have you been married? Are there children involved?
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Joined: Apr 2006
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Don't give up until you are sent to the bottom ablaze.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Joined: Nov 2009
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all
Last edited by lostandfound_101; 11/13/09 03:40 PM.
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Joined: Nov 2009
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We have been married
Last edited by lostandfound_101; 11/13/09 03:42 PM.
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Joined: May 2009
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Do you have proof an OW was involved? It sounds like he left you to be with OW then that didn't work out and he came back.
Have you dealt with that? What has he said regarding why he left, then moved back in? He owes you an explanation, at the very least.
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Joined: Nov 2009
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Last edited by lostandfound_101; 11/13/09 03:41 PM.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 90
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Sounds like maybe he's having/had a bit of a MLC...... Have you read up on the EN's? You just need to keep trying to meet his EN's (like what it sounds like you're doing) and show him what a wonderful life he already has with you.
I would also recommend snooping a little to see if he is in contact with the OW. As long as he's still in contact with her, nothing you do will save your marriage. Be sneaky about it, don't let him know you're snooping, but definitely snoop. Trust, but verify is the saying, I believe.
Do your families know that he left you for another woman?
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Joined: Nov 2009
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He didnt stay long.
Last edited by lostandfound_101; 11/13/09 03:49 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2006
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He forfited that "live" freedom with the birth of your first child.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Joined: Nov 2009
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I have tried but the question is if I do find something what do I do about it?
Last edited by lostandfound_101; 11/13/09 03:46 PM.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
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It is confusing I know. I am afraid to give too much detail. I wouldnt want him to read this and know it is me. I am afraid of doing the wrong thing. As soon as he reads here he will know it is you. Why don't you want him to know you are posting about this? What are you afraid of? How could posting here be seen as "doing the wrong thing"? I don't want you to answer those questions, but just to see that you cannot get help if you put only 5% of the information here for people to help WITH. This is terrible to hear about and people want to help.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
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I have tried but the question is if I do find something what do I do about it? Do I really wnat to know? Of course what I want to know if there is nothing to find. I dont believe he is seeing her but I think he talks to her online. Just a gut feeling. I have no way of snooping into that. He would do this from his work. Some days he is distant and I think he has had conversations with her that have made him doubt his decision or just plain miss what he had with her. He becomes super quiet and unresponsive to me and his kids. I have thought about confronting her and asking her to stop her communication with him. She obviously doesnt realize how she is hurting him as well as his entire family. I dontunderstand why a woman would want to begin a relationship with a man she lured away from his family. I live with this fear everyday of my life. My heart goes out to you.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 89
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He has been a great dad. That is what I dont understand.
Last edited by lostandfound_101; 11/13/09 03:47 PM.
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Joined: May 2009
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He has to have NC (no contact) with her AT ALL in order for your marriage to survive.
As long as he's still talking to her (be it online, or whatever) then the A is NOT over.
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Joined: Sep 2008
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Has he ever talked to the Harleys?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 90
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Maybe the two of you should take weekend vacation somewhere fun, and just relax and focus on enjoying each other. Don't bring up the subject of anything too serious, just focus on having fun.
Maybe somewhat Plan A him for a while.....
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Joined: Nov 2009
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to find a way to help him see what he is looking for he already has. Do you not agree?
Last edited by lostandfound_101; 11/13/09 03:46 PM.
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Joined: Sep 2008
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Maybe the two of you should take weekend vacation somewhere fun, and just relax and focus on enjoying each other. Don't bring up the subject of anything too serious, just focus on having fun.
Maybe somewhat Plan A him for a while..... cate, I'm finding the original post a bit obscure, but I think she is saying that he has just left the family. He left before some months ago and came back and things went well, then they started deteriorating and he has left again. He's not into weekend vacations just now if I am correct.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: Nov 2009
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I dont think so.
Last edited by lostandfound_101; 11/13/09 03:47 PM.
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