I've posted my story here before but just a recap:
My first DD of A #3 was 8-7-09; I filed D that day in a reaction response; found MB a few days later and started Plan A and coaching with Steve Harley

WH has "cut it off with her" several times since, even wrote a NC letter;

We went to a marriage retreat 3 weeks ago and have been trying to work on things, though he has not been O&H with everything. I had suspicions, kept snooping, not found anything til this morning. Found a text on his work phone from her saying she missed him too, thinks about him 24/7, she loves him, yada yada.

I confronted him with it; of course he denies sending her any text, doesn't know why she is contacting him, etc. He calls her in front of me, she doesn't answer the phone, he leaves her a message saying he doesn't know why she sent that text. She texts him back saying she doesn't know what the he!! he is talking about, he made it clear she was just an affair to him and that she doesn't want to hear from him again.

I know that both of them are lying ~ I'm not a fool. He finally told me her last name (yes, after 3 months!). Problem is I don't know how to spell it. It is pronounced: Voykoviak. Does anyone know how to spell that in Polish? I want to expose them at work but need the spelling of her last name.

Thank you for any help and for listening. I just cannot believe this is still going on. I am feeling so empty and discouraged. We are supposed to be leaving on a weeks vacation with our children tomorrow. How in the world do I do that when looking at him makes me sick and I just want to scream. I know I need to calm down and breathe ~ I just am so fed up.

Voykoviak - Vo Ko Vi as in long e and ak flat a auk? Or Voi ko Vi AK? Hmm interesting, sorry no help on spelling. Have you tried to google it or what you think might be the possible spelling? Might be able to come up with something there!

I'd cancel the vacation but, that's me personally. And when the kids whine tell them the truth about the fact their Dad needs to make a truthful choice. Then let them whine to their dad if they choose to, don't stop them.

Best guess from the pronunciation would be Wojkowiak, but it really could be anything.

You said he sent an NC letter -- but did you actually see that letter? It would have had to have her surname on it...

Thanks so much for your reply! I was able to get it from another forum! I think I found her on Facebook. Should I expose her to her friends? I have already exposed to all of my WH family (though they and his friends knew about her before I did!). What would be a good email to send to her friends to expose, though they probably know about me anyway. Would it help to do this? I'm at a loss!

How 'bout this:

Wojkoviak

Google comes up with hits for that one.

Google also comes up with one hit for Woikoviak, but that site is in Cyrillic, so I don't think it's a common spelling in North America.

Of course that one hit is a document signed by a man whose first name is spelled Wojciech, which is pronounce Voy'=check. So the "Woj" will be the way to go, in all likelihood. The "voy" sound in Polish should be that combination.

ETA: Don't overlook the more common and similar sounding Wojtkowiak either.

Yes, he sent a NC text message that I saw and I hit send. But I'm sure that he worked out some kind of thing with her before hand, not to pay attention to it. He has gone back to her several times since that NC letter. She must really be a doormat to keep taking him back. Ha ~ I should talk!!!

I cannot cancel the trip on my children. They are only 3 and they have no understanding about this. It is not fair to them to have this vacation cancelled (we're going to Disney World ~ how ironic is that!). I told him I did not want him to go but he is insisting and will show up at the airport even if I left without him. What a disaster!

Thanks so much for your advice.