This could help your H get past his guilt.

All Blessings,
Jerry

Thanks Jerry

Queenie

Need more info

How long have you been back together?

How long since N/C?

Does H have a home group?

Does H have a sponsor? Do they meet privately on a regular basis?

Does the sponsor walk the talk?

Is H on AD's?

Do you attend Al-Anon?

I was talking about newly sober alcoholic. The physical and mental capabilities may not sync together but that should only be temporary. I [censored] u med he had returned to using and made the first part of the word assumed me.

A few months or so---> WE ARE MEN--->COME ON WE ARE MEN-->Even if it is not our highest need it is still a mans human instict. For most men-not all-it is in the MB top 5.

We can not escape from our basic human insticts.
One of mens human instincts is to procreate.....Or straight out sexual relations. It is so important its addressed as part of the 4th step if used from the BB.

Nesre

We have been back together since the beginning of July. Living together since the middle of August.

No contact was July 27th

Yes he has a home group

Yes, he has a sponsor. No, they really don't even talk on the phone regularly.

Yes, the sponsor does.

No, H is not on Ad's.

No, don't go to Al-anon. I can't seem to attend that regularly. I prefer my AA mtgs. I feel safer there.

I truly understand he needs to get the 4th step done. I can't force him.

Queenie

I agree you can't force H to finish his 4th. It only took me 16 years to do mine.

Al-Anon because I am an alcoholic-I live with an alcoholic. Our alcoholic behaviors play
off one another.

Al-Anon teaches us how to deal with the affects of an alcoholics behavior. I don't recall it saying anything about actively drinking or not.


AA is very comfortable for me also but taught me only to care for my own alcoholism.


Sorry-but I would suggest using caution if you have been back together this long. As to H's intentions in your MR he needs to make them clear to you with action or radical honesty.

Personally I would find it very strange (My BS detector went off)to live with a woman-especially my W and not want SF. The human need as a man will win out over the fear of performance.


Also



QUEENIE....Live in the day

WALK-Head held high-straight through YOUR fear...............


Miss Melody suggested a lap dance I believe. My wife actually did that for me.

What man could resist?

Nesre

bump

Hi Nesre... hope all is well with you.

Queenie

I agree you can't force H to finish his 4th. It only took me 16 years to do mine.

Al-Anon because I am an alcoholic-I live with an alcoholic. Our alcoholic behaviors play
off one another.

Al-Anon teaches us how to deal with the affects of an alcoholics behavior. I don't recall it saying anything about actively drinking or not.


AA is very comfortable for me also but taught me only to care for my own alcoholism.


Sorry-but I would suggest using caution if you have been back together this long. As to H's intentions in your MR he needs to make them clear to you with action or radical honesty.

Personally I would find it very strange (My BS detector went off)to live with a woman-especially my W and not want SF. The human need as a man will win out over the fear of performance.


Also

Originally Posted By: QueeniesAdventuresBR... my oh my....

I guess to be honest, I'm just simply afraid of being rejected right now. And the year before the A was exposed we had NO sex. I have had enough rejection in our marriage...


QUEENIE....Live in the day

WALK-Head held high-straight through YOUR fear...............


Miss Melody suggested a lap dance I believe. My wife actually did that for me.

What man could resist?

Nesre


Edited by nesre (11/09/09 09:31 PM)

Really good thread.