Enduring is so painful! You feel like you're doing everything. All the affection, touching, talking - and there isn't much in return. I feel like its a real strain just to be in the same room, but I try to put myself into a state of denial so that I can be my regular self. But deep inside the pain I think comes to the surface because I really can't be myself no matter how hard I try. When I ask him what he wants from me, he says he just wants me to be myself. I think it's going to take a lot of time for the tension to go away between us, of course it would be way easier if I knew what he wanted and OW was gone.<P>Tonight he's in bed a 9:00 - he says he very tired. That very well may be since he was called in to the office really early this morning (it was legite). But I can't help but wonder, considering it's Monday and all the good times we had over the weekend usually is destroyed when OW comes around him at work again. I have to admit that outwardly it seems like he's really trying. He's very kind to me and considerate. Just not affectionate. He's only affectionate back - like he'll hug me back, or whatever I initiate. I suppose he could be withdrawing too. I could only hope. But he just won't say those words "She's gone". Looking at the calendar its been little over 2 weeks, seems like it's been a decade in a horrible nightmare.<P>If he does tell her goodbye, he'd tell me wouldn't he? I mean, he wouldn't just stop seeing her and be trying to get over it by himself? I think counseling would help but he'll never go because he's a workaholic and never has TIME, which is one of the underlying problems in our marriage for years now. It's not that I can't light his fire anymore, it would be nice if it were his idea sometimes now. Is this how the "withdrawal" goes. Maybe I need to open a new topic to have people explain to me how withdrawal went and what to expect if it happens. Hmm.