Don't think I haven't dreamed about putting one of those hits on him that you put on a receiver whose brave enough to come across the middle or one of those special teams crackback blocks where the guy is zoned in on the ballcarrier and never sees you come from the blindside to clean his clock.

What did he just say???

Right now, we are both filling out the EN and LB questionaires and we are planning on talking about them during our talk next Saturday. Mainly though, we are trying to spend the 15 hours together. Just spending one on one time together without the TV or kids to distract us seems to be making a tremendous difference. I think that the years spent living seperate lives kind of turned into many more years of us being more like roommates than spouses.

On a good note, she has been very careful about being accountable with her time. She has been going out of her way to make sure that I know where she's at and who she's with at all times. Even when she's at home, she is spending most of her time with me or our youngest DS and very little time alone so there is no question about her contacting OM. She had been spending a lot of time by herself before d-day when she was texting and emailing OM.

fitnut, do you want to bring her here?

I dunno, but reading it wore me out - I had to go lie down and rest, LOL

I'll have my cousins from Texas, Walker and Texas Ranger, explain it to you, Mel.

I'll bet those cats know the meaning of pistol whipping!

Sorry for the confusing football reference.

Do I want her here? Well, yes and no. I want her to work with me through the MB plan, but I don't really want her on the message boards because I like being able to talk freely without her reading all of my thoughts.

The good news is that I've noticed her thumbing through SAA. I don't know how much she's read, but I will ask her during our weekly relationship discussion tomorrow.

With next week being Thanksgiving, our 2 oldest boys will be home. They are both totally PO'd w/ WW at the moment. Would it be best if I talk with them pre-holiday and ask them to go easy on her, or do I just let her reap a little of what she's sown?

Please don't try and protect her from the consequences. She very much needs to FACE THEIR WRATH. She needs to face every consequence of her actions. She is a big girl and she can take it.

Most sons would not appreciate their mothers acting like that and she needs to hear that. Dang, I would hate to face my boy if I did that.

Let'em rake her over the coals a little. Remember she betrayed them too.

Yep - my son's (around same age) cleared the fog in an instant. Wife was simply mortified and embarrassed to no end after their confrontation with OM. They also gave her a hard time.

This hit home on a personal note and understand it well. In my case my dad was in the NHL for 40+ yrs as a player, coach, GM and scout. My mother met my dad while he played in LA - us kids stayed in Canada during the hockey season. My mother always went with my dad however while the grandparents raised. After the playing days - we followed along.


After reading your stitch - I believe that you have snuffed this affair quickly and you have been following the recommendations of this site like a text book.

Perfect execution in busting this non-sense up. A lot of BH seem to lose or dont have enough strength to act with the decisiveness and focus you have shown. The shock and awe of the her confrontation was when the power of the relation fell in your hands. I commend you.

One thing to watch out for is the roller coaster of feelings for next year or two. Just buckle up for the ride. Time does heal. You have a good chance to create a better relationship with many more memories.

Yes, the busting technique was good. But, what I expect what really messes most BSs up, is the fact that there had to be any busting in the first place.
I think we all have a strong desire for our spouse's loyalty to be based on feelings they have for us and qualities within the WS.
With affair busting required, a BS now has aboslute proof that , under the right circumstances, the Ws will kick the BS to the curb.
So, now you deal with doubt. If you get cance , will she hang with you? If your finances go down the tubes, are you jettisoned? If some guy is bigger, stronger, better looking , etc., are you cut from the team.

yeah - agree - its a shame - this affair crap sucks anyway you look at it

It's one of the toughest concepts for me to understand. How, knowing full well that your spouse is capable of this, and knowing the only reason it stopped is due to external pressure, do you view your spouse or your relationship the same way as before.
I know, folks will say you don't and the relationship is forever changed, and sometimes better. I guess , for me, I just do not see how it could be better, when the basic premise that you will be loyal no matter what, has been irrevocably lost.
I know, logistical things may get better, like better SF, communication, finances, etc. But, that overidingly most important fundamental, the loyalty no matter what deal, is gone, thus making the rest of the improvemnts somewhat hollow.

Dear Fitnut

I'm responding to your question about your sons away at school and talking to them before they get to your wife. I agree with the others here, but would encourage you to be there for both your sons and wife when the dust settles. Drama will ensue, I doubt this will be one of your best Thanksgivings. Your sons deserve your understanding of their anger and disgust as you well know I am sure. And although your wife does not deserve anything from you right now, if you can offer anything to her at all after your sons level her, it will go along way to forward recovery. I am not suggesting in any way you cushion the blow between the two, just find a way to help "stable" her alittle after the storm. sometimes quiet support is the best, but somehow let her know you still want this to move forward. As hard as this will be for you it will be excruciating for your sons and her. Yes she deserves it, and no they don't.

I have 2 kids away at school and I am the BS, my WS had EA after 25 years of marriage, we have been together 28. My experience is not your experience but I was touched by I guess the thought of my children coming home to this kind of news. My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you this holiday. Hang in there, from your thread it sounds like you are on the right path