First of all I have to say that I feel very awkward even posting this. I know there are so many more people in worse shape than I am, but I'm truly at the end of my rope and I thought if anyone had a few spare prayers, I could surely use them right now.

When ExH left me, he left me in a financial mess. I filed chapter 7, etc. Things were going well, I was gettign back on my feet, then I had a lot of medical bills, auto bills and other bills that had to be paid. My mortgage reset and I got very behind. My lender agreed to put all the payments I owed on the end of my loan, which would have solved it all, but ExH would have to agree to his as his name is still on the mortgage as I can't credit wise, refinance to get him off.

Well our D decree states that he cannot enter any new agreements with me and this would be considered a new agrrement, so he refused. I told him who would know, unless I told the court what he was doing, but he still refused and said let it go to foreclosure.

Funny how he follows some of the orders of the decree when it benefits him and could care less about other orders.

Well to make a long story short I go to court next week for a foreclosure hearing. Unless I get some big $$ somehwere to make my loan current...like win a lottery, my house is foreclosed on, and I'm out in 3 months.

I've tried so hard to keep this house, for my kids especially. They don't need any more upheavals in their life. They like where they live, have friends etc. And also, more out of a sense of pride for me, in that ExH took everything else I had dreamed of, he wasn't getting my house as well. When we got D'd, he told me that I'd never be able to manage the house without him. Well it looks like he wins yet again in that I will lose my house.

Foreclosure will go on both of our credit reports, he knows that and says he doesn't care. I know he wants me to fail. He said I should have been able to float the house with the alimony I get and my other income.

Yes I could have, if these other expenses never came up.

So I am humbly asking for some prayers to somehow, someway let me keep my house...

((Thanks!))

Cat

Oh, Cat, I'm so sorry.

I wish I had some big nugget of wisdom or big idea that could help you out. But I don't.

Again, I am so sorry. I know how stressful this has to be.

Just know, you will make it. Another day will dawn. It will be different, but it will be yours.

Fox

Hugs Cat.

Sorry you are going through this. Have you gone to the bank and asked for a remodify? This is different than refinancing. You might explain situation to them. They do not want any more homes in forclosure, so they might be willing to work with you.

I will keep you in my prayers.

cat- so sorry for your pain.
There's a special place in hell for people like him.
((cat))

((((catgirl))))

I truly hope that things get better for you. Positive prayers are coming your way.

TM

Cat, can you talk to your lender about pursuing a 'short sale'? That may buy you some time. A short sale will allow you to list & sell the house for the amount due on your loan. In this market, you MAY be able to sell and beat the foreclosure date. I don't know what the balance due is, but if you are anywhere close to taxable value on your home, you might be able to do this. I know it won't keep the house for the kids, but you might be able to dodge the foreclosure.
Also - consider that God feels you need another place right now. I know that sounds trite (I know - easy for me to say! :(), but I wish I had a nickel for the times something's happened in my life, where I prayed to God to remove me from it, and it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened. Just something to think about.
Cat

Oh, Cat...I am so sorry, God I hope everthing works out for you.... Hugs and prayer for you...

Catgirl, I am sorry to hear about this. I agree about the "short sale".

It might buy you some time and in this economy the banks are agreeing to it so they are not stuck with yet another house.

Can you get any financial support from family to get you through this? Just trying to throw out ideas.

Talk to your kids. Be straight with them and explain the situation once you know they are going to proceed with it. Don't place blame -- they will figure it out. Don't be a defeatist. Let your children see you shine in light of this. I could tell you are not a quitter.

Having a house does not make a home. You could live in a million dollar house but it might be a shell and some people are in a small apartment but surrounded with their blessings.

No one wants to be in this situation. I am truly sorry. God bless

Cat,

I am so sorry. I know how you feel as I have been put in a similar situation. I have had to consider bankruptcy as well, and it may still happen if I don't find a job soon.

I agree with maritalbliss though. Things do happen for a reason and we don't always know what those reasons are at the time. I will pray for you.

I can't believe that your ex would allow his children to be kicked out of their home. What a jerk.

Try calling your lender again. Your credit might be shot but they don't want the house back either so perhaps you work something out still or got back to the judge to see what remedies you have.

If you want to stay in the house, I do hope that you are able to salvage it. On the other hand (b_r puts on a hard hat), have you considered that maybe a move could be a new start for you and the children?

Claygal,

Yes, I have asked for a modification. I have an FHA loan and they told me that was not an option.

Maritalbliss,

I don't think the lender wants to pursue a short sale. I have talked to the lender's lawyer, had to go for a mediation hearing, and he told me there would be no sale as I owe much more on my house than it is is worth. Plus houses in my area have been for sale, no lie, nearly a year, without a bite.

Hope,

I have talked to the kids already. My DS is having a very hard time with this whole D and ExH remarrying and now a new baby for them. He has been in counseling and I have talked to his counselor. I was told a move right now would devastate him. These last few years have been inconsistent in that he wonders what will be next. His home is his only peace. He is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Since '06, every year something huge has happened...

'06 H leaves for OW, tells DS this is just a trial separation, he will back. Never comes back...
'07 D...
'08 ExH M's OW...
'09 they have a new baby...
'10, lose house?...

The counsleor said at his state of mind right now it would put him over the edge. As I said he is already acting out ALOT, and in some harmful ways, and it's related to all that has happened in his life lately.

That's why I am trying so hard to keep this house. Yeah maybe God wants me to leave, but not at my kid's mental expense...
I do have one relative I can ask, but I had to ask her for $$ for my D. I feel that she might think I view her as an ATM, and I am a bit scared to ask. This isn't just a few thousand $$ that I need...

Chai,

Yeah ExH told me if I managed my $$ better I wouldn't be in this situation so he doesn't feel sorry for me. As I told you, he was just waiting for me to fail. He told me there was no way I could manage this house without him there. When I told him then what about the kids, he said they'll be fine, let the house go to foreclosure...

Yeah he is jerk with a capital J.

Cat

You have my prayers.
This is not a small matter.
You will survive this.

I don't see what the lender has to gain by pushing you into foreclosure. Sounds like gaining control over your house is basically going to drop his return to zero.

I think they may be more willing to come to some arrangement with you about the loan.

Hmmm...I'm in this business, cat. Can you tell me the name of your lender? (I won't be offended if you don't want to put that out here - no prob.) I just wonder if I've worked with them on some of the short sales I've closed. Some lenders are more amenable to short sales than others, and some drag their feet on agreeing to one unless it's thrown in their face.
Example: I've had closings where the property was in active foreclosure, but the owners quickly listed it for sale and got a buyer. The sales price was less than the amount due on the loan. The contract between the buyer & seller stated that the sale was "contingent upon agreement of short sale by current lender" When the lender was shown that there was a buyer for the property, they agreed to the short sale.
Lenders really don't want to own houses. We're seeing a lot more short sales in my business because of that.

I think I would ask my lawyer to try to find a way to take your child's doctor's analysis and ask for special dispensation. Have you ever gone to www.unitedway.org to see if they have anyone who can help you? They have arms in all sorts of situations.

catgirl, have you talked at all to your D attorney to find out what remedies are available to you since H can't sign any new debt with you?

Also, if the foreclosure does happen, you could find out about renting the house as some lenders are starting to do this...some $$ is better than no $$ and they prefer to have an occupied home vs an empty one that can be vandalised and not maintained. If homes are sitting for a year, they might be willing to at least do this. What if the house is foreclosed on and then you buy it back at the reduced value? I know your credit is dinged and they very well may saw no way and just want to be done but it can't hurt at ask in light of how bad the housing market is and you are already occupying the property.

MiM, MB,

That was what the lender's lawyer told me when we met in mediation. I guess I will find out more of their intentions when I go to court next week...I will also ask if renting is an option, but they told me because I have an FHA loan there are certain guidelines they muust follow...whatever that means.

I do not have a lawyer representing me in the foreclosure. Can't afford one. But I have talked to D lawyer about ExH not agreeing to sign. He read over the lender's proposal and he said that yes ExH indeed did not have to sign as it was in fact a new agreement. He did however say that ExH could have signed on his own will, to keep his kids with a roof over their heads, disregarded the order, as unless I told the court what he did, no one would know.

I thought once ExH quit claimed the property to me, he had no say. But I guess he does.

Forgot to mention earlier, their is a 2nd mortgage on the house, but that is current.

I will check out United Way. I never thought of that before...

Cat

Key in short sales is whether the lender kept the loan, sold the loan "whole", or sold "slices" of the loan in a securitization.

If there is an identifiable "lender" who owns the entire loan (whether the original lender or someone they sold it to), they will likely agree to a short sale. If the loan was packaged and sold as a securitization, then there are 100+ owners and the documents likely prohibit the servicer (the person who answers the phone when you call) from agreeing to a short sale. No practical way to get the 100+ owners together and say "out of the 500 loans you bought as part of a package, we would like you to agree to a short sale on one of them".

This is part of what makes the mortgage mess so hard to resolve. Many loans were carved up and sold in pieces, making it impossible to renegotiate the deal on any one loan. On the other hand, judges are starting to make the securitization buyers produce original signed notes and mortgages if they want to foreclose on a house. Often no one knows where those documents are stored. So the lender cannot foreclose even if the borrower stops making payments. Borrower gets to keep living in the house despite not paying the mortgage. So it is serendipity whether you are better or worse off if your loan was securitized. Drives people nuts. No consistency.

Hope you find some peace soon.

Cat: Life has a way of beating up on the downtrodden. You take a body blow and just when you think you can get back up, here comes another punch to the gut. I take come solace in knowing that God reserves the biggest trials for those that can take it. Sounds like you're one tough cookie

As far as losing the house goes, yeah, that sucks. I've known several people who have gone through this and its not easy.

Also, is this the house where the A and all the aftermath went down? If so, would it be healthy to get the kids out and move on? Would a change of daily scenery help? I'm asking because I don't really know the answer for you and your family.

Also, I rent right now and I can tell you that I pay ~50% less for my home than it would cost if I bought it today. There's a huge freedom when you rent: no property taxes, no repairs - it's very liberating. We've had this "you need to own a house" mantra shoved down our throats for years, but sometimes it just doesn't make financial sense. I don't know if it would make sense for you to rent or not.

Stay Tough.