Saw a psychotherapist yesterday for an initial assessment. It was only an inital assessment, but what she said from this first chat was that she gets the impression that I'm blaming myself for what has happened and for her actions, which I didn't notice. She seemed pretty suprised by everything I told her and commented that if any of this was discovered by the BACP then she would be struck off as a therapist.

What I've noticed is that she doesn't want me getting on. I visted her yesterday to sign the divorce papers, and when she saw that I was more cheerful she became annoyed.

She told me she was going out over the weekend, and I mentioned I may be going out that evening. That evening she text 'come 2 me'. She did the same thing when I went out a fortnight ago. Started texting me that she wanted me to come to her and she needed me, and finally that she had taken pills and collapsed. Then the following day she didn't want to know me and ignored me. She seems to be taking every oportunity to go out, get drunk, meet people and tell me about it, but if I go out she tries to stop me by asking me to come to her.

It's really annoying me, stopping me from getting through this and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to refrain from arguing with her. I've not argued or lost me temper at all through this, I was initially tearful infront of her, then became more caring and tried to help her through it.

Oh, catperson, 'the dance of anger' arrived today, so I'll give it a read.

Your wife is sick. She needs to either be seeing a psychiatrist herself, or get into a hospital.

I think your wife might be a Narcissist. The hurry to get married. The need for admiration. The charisma. The "hoovering" of you back into the relationship the minute you want to leave.

You may be right. Whenever I seem to be in a bright mood, she becomes angry at me for 'getting over her so easiliy', which I'm not, I'm just trying to keep going.

Today I checked the emails she's been sending to this other guy. I probably shouldn't have, but I felt strong enough to do so. It turns out he's happily married, but is still willing to have a fling with my wife. They're still emailing each other, but it has turned into simple day to day chat type stuff, with her telling him the progress of the divorce (she originally told him she WAS divorced).

dylan32,

Addictions and illness should be the priority to get her help, MB isn't really appropriate. You need to take self inventory and work on it. It seems you get a good help. In CA, they could take her license away as therapist because of alcoholism. At least suspend her until she gets help. If you decide to expose the A , you might want to see what is the law for therapist in UK. I might even think that your psychologist might have to break confidentiality if W's drinking impact her duty as therapist.

Hang in there. I looked back 9 years ago, it was dark. Today I could say the journey worth every tears and pains for who I am today.

redhat

You're just blowing steam. You say you don't expose because she moved here, then in the next breath you say she values her reputation and won't tell her friends the truth.

You CAN expose, you're just chicken.

Look, do you want to keep her or not?

If you do, quitcherbitchin' and get on the phone and call her friends, her family, and the OM's wife that they are practicing adultery.

Then pack up her clothes, and put them on the doorstep. When she comes home, tell her she has ONE chance only to stay there, and that is go to NC with OM and any OTHER man.

How could she possibly respect you - or want you - if you act like such a pansy? Jeez.